This is just about you [from the Opening Feast in CH; tag Katey] on Hospital Wing

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

October 20, 2020 8:17 PM

This is just about you [from the Opening Feast in CH; tag Katey] by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

Mary knocked on the door of the Hospital Wing with the sort of combined firmness and softness that she was thinking that maybe only mothers were capable of because she definitely hadn't always been capable of that. But maybe she had been and she only was beginning now to understand how useful it could be even when you weren't mothering. It hadn't been that long since she herself had run out of a feast after a conversation with another staff member and she couldn't help a pang of heartache as she'd watched Katey do the same thing tonight. Naturally, she'd had to follow.

"Katey?" she called, trying not to read too much into any sounds she heard, although it wasn't hard to think that anything she did hear would probably be sad sounds if the look on Katey's face had been anything to go by. "Hey, I know you're not okay. You don't have to talk to me but I'm here, okay?"

She was pretty confident that by this point, after months of working together to ensure Jean-Loup's internship was going smoothly whether he was on the brewing or applying side of potions, working together on inventory and quality assurance, and just straight up being colleagues, Katey we recognise her voice. It felt a little silly to introduce herself across the room anyway, so she figured she'd at least wait for Katey to come out and see her if she was confused, and then she would not be confused.

But mostly, she just tried to think of the young medic who needed help, and not her own hard memories of such a similar time. Although she wasn't quite sure whether this was all going to end up with Killian and Katey getting married, as it had done in her own situation. If nothing else, Tabitha had followed her out and Killian had not followed Katey out.

"Katey?" she called again, shaking her head to clear it.

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne This is just about you [from the Opening Feast in CH; tag Katey] 1424 1 5

Katey Willow

October 21, 2020 3:33 PM

How about not? by Katey Willow

Part of her wanted to be followed. She wanted Killian to pursue her, to grab her by the shoulders and spin her back to face him, to show her just how wrong she had taken their conversation. She wanted him to say it had all been a cruel joke - she was used to them - but that everything was going to be okay now. Katey wanted him to go after her.

But she didn’t get it. She hurried back into the medical inventory room and, hidden among the vials and pills, let herself cry. She had charmed the back room to block her sounds from reaching the main area of the hospital wing, while still permitting outside noise in. She had done this because sometimes the flighty young medic got a bit clumsy, and she didn’t think the sounds of Crash!, “Oops!” would inspire confidence from her patience, but she needed to be able to hear if anyone arrived while she was in the back. This doubled, she realized now, as an excellent situation for crying one’s eyes out.

That was, until, “Katey?”

She muttered a word under her breath that was entirely inappropriate for a school full of young children and frantically swiped at her soggy cheeks. Katey patted down her eyes to try to reduce any potential swelling. Fortunately she hadn’t been crying for too long, so it was unlikely to be too physically detectable. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

Katey opened the door and returned to the main infirmary space with her typical smile plastered across her face. “Hi, Mary!” she greeted. “Sorry if I scared you. Just thought I should get back to work.” It was a lie - “Katey always lies” - that was almost convincing. She had told the “I’m fine” lie too many times to count, too many times when someone else wasn’t fine and she didn’t have the time not to be. And she hated doing it, especially to Mary, whom she considered her closest friend at Sonora, but it was necessary. A tactic for survival. “How are you doing?” she asked, diverting. “I was so surprised to hear Tabitha’s not going to be around!”

12 Katey Willow How about not? 1505 0 5

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

October 26, 2020 7:25 PM

But I don't want to talk about me. by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

Mary wasn't sure how she knew, but she knew Katey was lying. Perhaps part of it was the overly chipper way that the young medic greeted someone she couldn't have expected and who had no reason to be there, or perhaps it was the way she looked now and definitely hadn't looked just a few minutes prior, or perhaps it was that it was a weird time to rush back to work. Or perhaps, somehow, Mary just knew. There was the chance, of course, that she was projecting, but she tried not to think about that because that just made her think about why she was sad and she didn't want to think about why she was sad right now.

She smiled very softly and settled back some, getting back to neutral from her leaned-forward, ready-to-search stance. "No you didn't," she said. "Because you wouldn't have known why I was here." The potions professor coming to talk to the school medic was not unusual and Katey would have had no reason to suspect that Mary was here to check on her if not for the fact that she already knew she needed to be checked on. Before they could decide where to go with that, Mary figured she should answer the questions she'd been posed and she sighed. "I'm alright. Sad to be without Tabitha but I'm glad that she's working on her research and enjoying a breath of fresh air, for sure," she said with a sad turn to her smile.

Moving the few steps necessary to sit on one of the patient beds - the other option was a guest chair which would have left Katey in the patient spot and that wasn't an ideal to chat with someone - Mary took a seat. She gestured a 'come here' sort of wave, inviting the young medic to join her either on the bed itself or in the chair. "You don't want to talk about what's wrong," she said, only turning it up at the end enough to make it clear she was seeking confirmation, not actually asking a question. "But . . . something is wrong. I'm a good listener," she promised.

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne But I don't want to talk about me. 1424 0 5

Katey Willow

October 27, 2020 5:50 PM

There have to be other options. by Katey Willow

Mary let Katey change the subject, although it seemed obvious that they both knew it would be brief. Still, the younger witch was grateful for the few minutes to talk about something - anything - else. In this case, specifically, it was Mary’s wife Tabitha. It kind of amazed her that Mary was comfortable letting Tabitha roam so far. What if she didn’t come back? What if she found someone else while not under Mary’s gaze? Katey tried not to think about those concepts, about how if Ethan were still here, she probably wouldn’t be working at Sonora. It was just too far. Too risky. But something sounded so warm in the way Mary spoke. Katey’s past self was a little bit jealous of Tabitha.

But then it came back to Katey, with Mary seating herself on one of the patient beds and patting the spot beside her. The Medic sighed. No getting out of this, she supposed, sitting down next to Mary. “I just… said something really dumb to Killian,” she said. This much, she supposed she could discuss. Especially if Killian and Mary were good friends. He’d probably tell her later anyway.

Katey shut her eyes, as if the cringe could retroactively solve another. “I kinda thought last year maybe he was flirting with me - like maybe there was something there - and I told myself not to do anything because I’m really terrible at dating” - the most she would divulge - “but for some reason I sort of asked if he wanted to get dinner sometime? Anyway it was really stupid and he’s got a girlfriend now, and I just… needed some air.”

“Anyway you shouldn’t have to spoil your night with my stupid guy problems,” Katey added, patting Mary’s leg. “You should go back and enjoy the feast. I’ll be fine.” She wasn’t sure she meant it, but she wasn’t in tears anymore. For now. So that was a good step. She would deal with things like she always did: on her own.

12 Katey Willow There have to be other options. 1505 0 5

Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

October 28, 2020 11:53 AM

Working on resolving past trauma, especially as it manifests in present day activities, is a pretty good option. by Mary Brooding-Hawthorne

Katey took a seat next to Mary, which Mary took as a good sign. If nothing else, she'd managed to get herself to this point in the conversation, and that was good. She debated whether a joke would be good or if it would only make Katey feel worse. She wanted very much to point out that Killian had no room to judge people for saying dumb things because he was practically famous for it himself, but it didn't exactly sound like Katey would appreciate confirmation, or jokes at Killian's expense. Besides, Mary wasn't sure whether Katey thought Killian said anything dumb, and it would be weird to suddenly be asked for examples or something. The relationship Mary had with Killian was obviously very different than Katey's with him if . . .

"Ah," Mary said, grimacing sympathetically. "Yes, I think we've all done dumb things when confronted with a cute face." Killian had assured her that, despite her exclusive interest in women, he was very handsome and she could take his word for it. "I broke my wrist running out on Tabitha when one of us said a dumb thing my first year here," she admitted, remembering the occasion with a bittersweet smile.

That being said, she wasn't about to try to assure Katey that everything would be fine because now she would marry the guidance counselor either. She was a bit surprised by the information Katey was passing on though, both because she hadn't known Killian was dating anyone, and because dating someone wasn't necessarily a reason not to get dinner with Katey. However, if he hadn't passed that information on, Mary wasn't about to do so on his behalf.

Before Mary could decide, Katey was making attempts to push her away again. Mary took the hand that Katey had patted her leg with and put it back on her own lap, keeping her hand there for just a minute with an affectionate squeeze. "No, sorry," she said. "I'm not just going to leave you to your own problems. Friends are there for each other and I like to think we are friends by this point," she added. Tough love, she suspected, looked like love no matter what in Katey's case.

"As far as Killian goes . . . well, there's every chance he was flirting last year. I don't think he'll hold anything against you. You didn't do anything dumb, because you didn't know that he had a girlfriend now. And I suspect you need to hear this too: you are not any less desirable or wonderful just because Killian is seeing someone else. That's not a judgment on you." She added the last a bit more firmly than she meant to, but she was just real sick of people feeling bad about themselves and other people letting them keep at it.

22 Mary Brooding-Hawthorne Working on resolving past trauma, especially as it manifests in present day activities, is a pretty good option. 1424 0 5

Katey Willow

October 28, 2020 3:47 PM

Oh. by Katey Willow

For what felt like a very, very long time, Katey just sat there. Her hand was back in her own lap, and though Mary’s hand had pulled away, she could still feel the lingering ghost of the friendly squeeze it had given. But that was alright. It wasn’t the hand that stunned her.

It was the words. Basically all of the words, but specifically in the order in which Mary had said them. Katey knew all of those words separately, but no one had ever said anything like that to her before. And of course a part of her knew that it wasn’t her fault for not knowing about Killian’s relationship - how could she? - and that he probably wasn’t going to hold that against her. She knew too, of course, that it didn’t reflect as a statement to her worth that she said something dumb. But then, did she?

The notion threw her completely off. How could she both know that consciously but somehow be so shocked to hear it? Positive statements of her worth were, in truth, not a thing with which Katelyn had much experience in her life, or at least not in the last several years. So why would Mary say that, so candidly and readily? How could she just casually drop kindness bombs like that, no tiny lies for safety, no walls? It made no sense. Katey built such shields around herself, and yet Mary, unarmed, had somehow found a crack. Yet despite finding a weak point, Mary knocked for entrance. Why?

For once, the bubbly medic was speechless. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t say anything. She just sat for a very, very long time. It was silent, but not entirely uncomfortable. It was was.

After that very, very long time had passed, Katey, still silent, found motion again. She leaned her head to rest on Mary’s shoulder and listened to a heartbeat softly ring up to her ear. A friend.

12 Katey Willow Oh. 1505 0 5