Returning the Favor [Evelyn] on Cascade Hall

Gary Harper

June 27, 2020 6:42 PM

Returning the Favor [Evelyn] by Gary Harper

Gary wasn't sure what to do. Unfortunately this was not an uncommon state for him at this point. That had been pretty much all of last year and most of this year so far. Still it didn't feel right to do nothing, it wasn't right to do nothing. He just wasn't sure what to do.

It had started when he was sitting at the Aladren table eating by himself. Heinrich and Ness had been at the table, but he had deliberately avoided them. He needed to do some more reading while he was eating, and more than likely they would try and draw him into some sort of discussion. Which was normally fine, but he really had to keep the studying going. So he'd sat at the far end of the table.

A chance glance up had allowed him to spot Evelyn approaching. That wasn't unusual, but she had been almost running and, as if he'd rolled a nat 20 on his perception check, there were tears rolling down her cheeks. That wasn't a good sign, his gut wrenched as he wondered what was wrong. He tried to watch without making it obvious. She huddled up with Ness and Heinrich and showed them something. Then they all began talking, discussing whatever the problem was. He was to far away to hear anything. Ness had looked mad though. He knew that look by now, and he really wished he didn't.

Evelyn hadn't been looking great, by the sounds of things she was running herself ragged with clubs and charities and extra study sessions, but lately she'd been looking worse. Whatever was wrong, was very wrong and she was suffering for it. He wanted to help, but he didn't know what was wrong or how to help or if she even wanted his help. She had helped him, and in doing so made him realize that jumping in and trying to fix things without any information was a bad way do to it. So, if he wanted to see if he could help, he would have to talk to Evelyn. He would have to talk to her about something that was bad and she may not want to share with him. She probably didn't want to, since she hadn't yet. She'd shared it with Ness and Heinrich though.

He was back to feeling like an outsider again, looking in. Evelyn had said that they cared about him, but not enough to trust him he guessed. That was fine. If it was Evelyn's problem and she didn't want to share than who was he to tell her that she had to? She didn't. At least she had Ness and Heinrich, that was good. Still he wanted to do something, or at least offer to do something. He... he cared about them as well.

So, still uncertain of his plan, he approached Evelyn while she was alone at the Pecari table. He came up opposite her to the table. "Mind if I sit?" He took the spot across from her after she consented. "As you well know," he began with something of a wry grin, "I'm not real good with people." Understatement of the year. "However," he paused good a long, trying to figure out a good way to make his next statement, "I couldn't help but notice the other day at the Aladren table, it looked like you got some bad news?" He really kinda hoped he was wrong.

He quickly held up his hand to forestall anything she may interject, "I saw you have Ness and Heinrich to talk to at least, and that's good. I just wanted to make sure you knew that if I could be of any help with anything, you have but to ask. I don't need any details that you don't want to share, I just want you to know that I'm here for you as well if you need it. If everything is actually fine, then I am relieved and glad to hear it."

2 Gary Harper Returning the Favor [Evelyn] 1404 1 5

Evelyn Stones

June 27, 2020 7:44 PM

You think I'm wrong, too? by Evelyn Stones

Breakfast was . . . cereal? Evelyn poured a bowl and propped her head up on her hand as she yawned, poking a spoon meaninglessly into her food. She was supposed to scoop some into her mouth, but it just wasn't working out. Breakfast wasn't that long but it was long enough to get a good nap in if she just . . . sort of . . . dooozed.... she yawned again and started when a familiar voice drew her attention from opposite the table. Sitting up sharply, her wide eyes found Gary across from her. Wanting to sit with her?

"Sure," she said, gesturing, and making an intentional show of not leaning back on her own hand. She took a bite of cereal, forcing herself to chew. Her dry mouth was aided by the milk, and she swallowed hard. Gary was fairly direct, which Evelyn appreciated, and even more so since she knew he was being very brave. Gary didn't like these sorts of conversations, and it meant a lot that he would be willing to do this for her. To come talk to her. To make sure she was okay. It was really so so nice. Everyone was so nice.

She burst into tears as he finished speaking, dissolving into an embarrassed heap of emotions. "I'm so sorry," she gasped, trying to get herself back under control. "It's really nice of you to come make sure I'm okay."

She sucked in a sharp breath and turned her head, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve. How embarrassing. This was so ridiculous! What was wrong with her? Looking back at him and biting her lip, her tears mostly subsided, she shook her head and looked down at her cereal, feeling more like puking than eating. She wasn't about to lay out her life story for him - it had taken her years to tell Heinrich the whole of it and she knew him a lot better than Gary.

"I'm not really sure how much you want to know," she said, laughing softly, and settling in to tell another person another version of the same story. Another testimonial from the broken statistic of a kid. Another sob story that made Evelyn different than her peers and made her friends' and Heinrich's life that much harder, that much less pleasant, that much worse. "I'm a bit of a mess. You know I usually live with Ness?" she asked, not sure whether it had come up either explicitly or implicitly so far. "It's not . . . safe. . . for me to be with my dad. It hasn't been ever but it's gotten worse. I visited over the summer and things were bad. Ness' mom and dad noticed and, long story short, my dad is being released early from jail and being given custody back soon. He said if I come home, I can get custody of my brother after I graduate Sonora, but if I don't, then I won't see him again. So I said I'd go back. Heinrich said he'd come with me. Ness said I shouldn't go at all. And I don't know what to do." She took another big deep breath, shuddering. She wanted to be brave like Cleo, and she wanted to be able to say what happened to her without losing herself in it. She wanted it to be normal to talk about so people who came after her wouldn't be alone and so people like Ness and Heinrich wouldn't have to be alone in taking care of their friends. She wanted to fix everything for everyone else. But she was hurting now and things were wrong now and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to be like Cleo yet.

Pressing her lips together, she tried for a sad smile but ended up frowning at Gary. "Sorry. That's probably too much information?"

22 Evelyn Stones You think I'm wrong, too? 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

June 28, 2020 6:40 PM

No. You look like you need a friend. by Gary Harper

Panic! She was crying! What had he done?! He'd made it worse! Gary frantically looked around the still mostly empty hall. Where was Ness? Where was Heinrich? They knew what to do, they knew what was going on. They could... seriously hurt him for making Evelyn cry? Maybe it was best that they weren't here. He really didn't want to go another round of anger with Ness again. He had to fix this, no... that wasn't right, was it? You couldn't just fix other people, that was making decisions for them which was bad. He had to..... do.... he had nothing with which to finish that thought. Why couldn't this just be a game?

Evelyn seemed to be recovering, he had a 'deer in the headlights' look and a very nervous smile. She was apologizing? Why? "It's alright," he tried to assure her, "I'm sorry if I brought up a painful subject. I just..." his words faltered and their conversation from the library played back through his mind. His expression softened, "You told me that you cared about me, and that..." he paused a moment, doing his best to quell some emotion that was trying to take over his system, "that meant a lot. I... I just wanted to make sure you knew that the feeling was mutual." Dangnabit this was hard.

"Only as much as you want to share," was his reply to her question about how much he wanted to know. Then he just listened to what she had to say. He only nodded that he knew she mostly lived with Ness. There had been plenty of references to such an arrangement, that he had mostly taken it for granted without really thinking why such an arrangement would be in place.

As he listened, his mind detached a bit. Without really noticing, it had slipped into 'game mode'. This situation was not a good one. He felt a rage at Evelyn's father, especially if the 'not safe to go home' part included some parts of what he thought it might. If he had gone to jail... Her brother was another important aspect to consider, how much danger was he in? If some of his suspicions were true, hopefully not as much as Evelyn herself was. Frankly her father sounded like some petty, two-bit, sleazy, dictator trying to throw his weight around his little domain. The kind that wasn't long for the world in any adventure he'd ever seen. Unfortunately, this wasn't a game.

Apparently Heinrich was a better paladin than Gary had been giving him credit for if he was volunteering to stand between Evelyn and her dad. Was that one of those bad 'white guy' thoughts? Assuming that Evelyn was a damsel in distress that just needed a male to come to protect and save her? Ness' suggestion of simply not going back to him made him wonder. What did Ness think of the brother's chances? Ness knew the situation infinitely better than he did and was not prone to emotional judgements. Well.... Nope, not following that thought process right now. He was also trying to think of the last time a petty dictator in any game he'd played actually kept his word.

She ended saying that she didn't know what to do. That wasn't an actual question, but was she asking for his thoughts on what to do? Maybe, maybe not. It could just be an expression of frustration. When she asked it it was to much information, his face had changed from the initial panic stricken expression to a cool, neutral one that he usually wore while running games and trying not to give anything away to influence the players' decisions.

Before he spoke next, he broke the expression with a small, hopefully comforting smile. "No." It wasn't nearly enough to plan any sort of campaign against your foe he thought to himself. Adding instead, "I just want to help in any way that I am able. If that is simply to be someone that you can vent to without any other additional baggage attached, then I can hear more." He gave her a grin and tried a little humor, "Plus you know my social life is terrible, so I don't have anyone else to gossip with about it."

"Seriously though, you are not a mess." he continued doing his best to try and encourage her, "It sounds like you are, and have been, dealing with horrible things." He really hoped he was wrong with some of his assumptions. "And you are still going. If you'd like a cliche, success is just getting up one more time than getting knocked down." He sighed, "I'm making a few guesses here, but it sounds like you have been knocked down a lot, and perhaps hard. Yet, here you are, still on your feet and fighting." He smiled again, "You'd make Trym proud."

"On that note though," He paused a moment to collect his thoughts, "If you want some advise on the situation, I don't have any for you. I don't know enough about it, and I don't know if it would be any good anyway." There was a grin across his face as he continued, "However, I hope that there has been at least one thing I've been able to teach you so far through our games. One adventurer alone can only make it so far through the darkest parts of the dungeon. Having a companions by your side that you can count on is essential. Companions that have different skill sets, and may not always agree with you about how to accomplish something. How far does a fighter get without a healer? How far does the wizard get without someone standing in front of them? No one is designed to do it all alone. That is the best advise I can give to you now, make sure you have allies to see you through this. You have Ness and Heinrich which is good. You have me if you want. I hope you have some more as well."

Gary leaned in towards Evelyn just a little closer, "You've helped me greatly. Just as you've helped Heinrich and Ness. I just hope you will allow us to help you as well." He moved back in his seat, "As I said before if there is anything at all that you need or want from me, you have but to ask."

2 Gary Harper No. You look like you need a friend. 1404 0 5

Evelyn Stones

June 29, 2020 1:31 AM

You're a really good one. by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn blinked in almost open-mouthed surprise. She knew that Gary was a good guy. She knew that he was a kind human. But she hadn't known that any of that was intentionally directed towards her own person. As she processed what he was saying - that she was cared about, including by present company - she couldn't help smiling. "Thank you," she managed softly. She considered making some quip or joke to follow up but decided that that moment was best left unaltered by humor.

It was sweet of him to offer to hear more if she needed to share it and she almost laughed. She didn't want to share as much as she already had! She wanted to not share anything ever with anyone. But that just wasn't in her cards and she'd come to accept the value of this new deck. Still, she thought that Gary probably wouldn't be offering to hear more if he knew what that meant. Or unless . . . well, if he already knew somehow. The way that sometimes people understood each other without ever saying anything. The way that people who design bad guys sometimes understand without having to have had any experience themselves. Or the way that people who have had experience do. She hoped that wasn't the case.

Unfortunately, his turn of phrase was rather poor, and she flinched involuntarily - just a small twitch of her expression and pulling away from Gary with a sudden, stiff movement - when he commented on her having been 'knocked down'. Her most recent summer came back to mind, putting a literal experience with the idiomatic phrase. She didn't feel much like a fighter although she appreciated the idea that Trym would be proud. "Thank you," she said again. "Trym is way more BA than me, though. She'd probably go full berserk. I'm afraid I'm rolling natural ones most of the time these days." She laughed, but it faded fast. Gary paused too and they both had time to collect their thoughts, although Gary spoke first.

He looked so happy that Evelyn almost had to laugh again. It was so odd. She'd gotten to avoid the shocked expression with him, and now he was being normal. It was a nice change of pace. Normally, she appreciated the anger and the concern and the worry and the forced calmness, but right now, it felt good to just sit in the absolute mess that was around her and know she wasn't the only one who thought of it that way. Having a team of people with different skills - and different approaches - really stuck with her though. What would she do without Ness and Heinrich both? Without Gary and Parker and Morgan and Professor Wright? Everyone had their own skill set and their own approach.

"I do," she promised when he offered himself as a teammate.

He leaned forward and told her something she had never once considered before. Had she really ever helped Ness or Heinrich? She couldn't see how. She supposed she must have done some good for Heinrich because his uncle seemed generally pleased, from Heinrich's own accounts, and Hilda did as well. Plus he'd told her his secret, so he was at least some degree of comfortable with her. Also, he liked her. She doubted she'd ever get sick of thinking about how cool that was.

"What if I don't know what to ask for?" Evelyn asked, frowning thoughtfully and taking a bite of her cereal, almost accidentally. It felt good. Better now. "Other than a nap," she added. "I could really use a nap some time. If you can tack a few more hours on to my day, that would be great," she laughed. "But really. I'd love help. I just don't know what that would be."

22 Evelyn Stones You're a really good one. 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

June 29, 2020 6:48 PM

You deserve only the best that people have to offer by Gary Harper

Gary grinned and nodded in assent of Evelyn's assessment of Trym. "Life would be so much easier if we could just hit all of our problems with a greatsword until they went away." He paused just a moment and a concerned look drifted across his face, "Granted, that wouldn't have been ideal for me if Ness had had one at the opening feast..." He grimaced.

"Bad rolls happen." he shrugged, "Unfortunately you can't control everything in the universe and sometimes it just seems to conspire against you. Sometimes it doesn't matter how high your modifier is or what other advantages you've stacked up. All you can do is try a different tactic and keep on rolling. Well," he gave her a mischievous smirk "after you've thrown away that crappy set of dice and gotten a new ones."

Gary smiled at Evelyn's assent to let him join the team. "Thank-you." It was nice to feel wanted, even if he still barely had any idea what he was actually getting himself into. Hopefully he would actually be able to help. He just knew he could have tendencies towards trying to take over situations once he got involved, and that would not work here. He was going to have to be careful.

"Oh, don't worry about that," he waved his hand dismissively as she ate some of her cereal. It occurred to him that he should probably eat something as well. So he grabbed a few things that were nearby as she talked about needing a nap. A few more hours on her day? Wouldn't that be great, a few more hours of studying or game prep. "A few more hours would be..." His voice drifted off as a memory popped into his head, hadn't he read something about a time spell a while ago? It had intrigued him, but he (ironically enough) hadn't had the time to look into it further. Where had he seen that? He suddenly realized he was staring off into empty space again.

"Sorry drifted off there a moment. I'll look into that one for you. No promises though." She may have laughed, but he delivered the response straight. Heck if there was a time altering spell, he wanted to know it. "Apart from that though," he continued, "I'm not sure either what you might need, but you can tell me whenever you think of it." He popped some of the food into his mouth and chewed.

After swallowing, he continued, "I'm not sure what all I have to offer, I could help plan a midnight extraction raid to get your brother out after which we could come up with a way to fake both of your deaths and move to Germany for a year or two maybe. Heinrich's parents are there, right? Maybe you could stay with them until things calm down and we can smuggle you both back into the country." He smiled, it would be an undertaking, but it could be fun to plan out. "Other than that, I don't know... If you have any particular name you'd like inserted into a game for an adversary to beat the tar out of, I could do that."

Then another thought struck him. "I could run a summer game for the group. We could have it at your place and we could use it as an excuse for covert weekly check-ins." His eyes drifted off their mark into space once more as his brain wandered and his mouth went along for the ride, "If your dad isn't a gamer, we could arrange some jargon and such that would allow you to give anyone in on it a complete run down of everything that has happened since the last meeting while we played. He could overhear it all and not realize what is going on at all. There could be terms and such for emergency and safety concerns alerting us to take certain actions or contact certain people if necessary." He snapped back to reality, "Would that be helpful at all?"

2 Gary Harper You deserve only the best that people have to offer 1404 0 5

Evelyn Stones

June 29, 2020 7:11 PM

Ugh. Don't YOU say that too. by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn smirked a little, amused, but also had to swallow a little harder. She hated to think she was going to have to go through her whole life with a +3 Provocation or something like that. If the courts had anything to say about it . . .

It was a more genuine expression as he tucked in, clearly happy to join Evelyn for breakfast, which was an honor, and lost himself in thought over adding time to the day. Evelyn wasn't totally convinced that would be a good go, but she didn't mind him looking into it. She could think of some fun ways to use it and-- where were these thoughts coming from? Was this puberty? Because it needed to knock its crap off.

Gary was trying so hard and he had no idea that what he was saying was so dead on and so far off all at once. Extracting her brother would be perfect. Running away to Germany was obviously not ideal, although they could probably hide better there since at least they could access the language with Heinrich along. Also it was very sweet that Gary accepted Evelyn and Heinrich together in such stride as to assume they'd want to go sneaking off to his parents' house. Except . . . his parents' house. She wasn't sure whether that meant that Heinrich had never explained that he didn't live with his parents for the sake of school, or whether that meant he hadn't explained that he didn't live with them at all. Did Gary think Heinrich lived in Germany too? Or just that he lived with his uncle and that was normal and his parents were working in Germany? Technically, she supposed, they did live in Germany, but that didn't mean they were getting a guest room ready for a party of three.

"Probably smuggling a child out of the country won't help me any in a custody battle when we get back," she said, picking the part that pertained to her own story, since that was all she could safely comment on. "Good thinking though. I knew you were an Aladren but-- hey, why are all my friends stinking Aladrens?" she asked indignantly, frowning. That sort potion must have either really hated her, really thought she was dumb, or she had a -3 Luck on there as well.

The thought of a summer group meeting at her house was both wonderful and terrible. On the one hand, she'd fancied the thought herself and it was a tempting picture. On the other, she couldn't imagine the anxiety for Ness and Heinrich in coming over every week and the last time Evelyn had had a guest over, it hadn't gone exactly swimmingly. Plus, that would require her to lay out what had happened in order to ask for help if she needed it, and then what? A group of teenagers would take action, dice in one hand and wands in the other? Her dad would have no qualms about being awful to her in front of a group of teenagers, if not physically, and she wasn't sure she was really up for that.

"I'm torn," she admitted, poking at her cereal as she swallowed her previous bite. "On one hand, that sounds great. And would definitely be helpful," she added, wanting to make sure Gary knew she wasn't shooting his ideas down out of hand. "But . . . well, what if something had gone wrong?" Her immediate need for bruise balm upon arrival at the McLeods came to mind and she shuddered, closing her eyes against the memory before remembering that she needed to be braver than that. Being brave was harder recently an usual. "I wouldn't want all of you to see that. I don't want Heinrich to see that." The thought crossed her mind again of what might have happened if he'd still been there, or if he'd come back because he'd forgotten something when things got as bad as they had over her summer visit. What would have happened to him? What might he have done to try to help? Heinrich would never forgive himself, she knew, if her father tried to hex him and she got in between them. It wasn't worth the risk. "You're all way too valuable to risk going to my dad's house," she murmured.

Looking up at Gary, she searched his face with narrowed eyes. "You really would do that, though? Like . . . I guess you only half know what you're getting yourself into, but it means a lot that you'd be willing to do that for me. Do you . . . You're very comfortable with this somehow. Are you okay?" She lowered her voice, both in affectionate concern and to help make sure no one overheard them if he didn't want them to. "Are you safe at home? It's just . . . usually people don't take it in stride like that."

22 Evelyn Stones Ugh. Don't YOU say that too. 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

June 30, 2020 6:20 PM

Alright, I won't. by Gary Harper

Gary put on a startled expression as she commented about winning a custody battle upon their return, "Custody battle? You'd be coming back to the States as Mr. Dieter and Mrs. Gabriela Leopold, with their relative... Reiner Edgar." Man he was glad he had a lot of experience of thinking up random names off the top of his head. Some players and their obsession with talking to every townsfolk NPC they run into... yeesh. He could only offer a shrug to her next observation, "Dunno, if you you are assembling a team of individuals with various skills and outlooks, maybe you should look into some of the other houses. " He gave her a grin, "I mean I know Aladrens are great and all, but variety isn't a bad thing."

He nodded as she shared her concerns with the gaming plan idea. She was concerned with something going wrong... and emphasized the 'wrong'. A wrong that she didn't want her friends, but specifically Heinrich to see. Based on what little he knew of the situation and what little he knew of Evelyn and Heinrich. He needed more information, but could guess at an 'interesting' situation that would probably best be avoided. "You know the situation the best. That was assuming your dad would be something of a jailer as well. We could still have weekly games somewhere else. Even if they are just a place to go to give you a place to relax for a few hours each week."

"Sure," He replied quickly to her when she asked if he'd really do that, "I grew up playing games, training to be a hero to save the world and I doubt I know even half." Then she lowered her voice and asked a strange question. Safe at home? Sure, Jeremy was gone again, but that was just a threat to his sanity. Still she looked concerned. She also had a point, why was he comfortable with this?

Evelyn had admitted to having a serious problem. A very wrong problem that no one should ever have. Daughters should not live in fear of their fathers. He could feel the rage beginning to rise. He took a deep breath and disengaged again. He knew the answer to her question, he wasn't sure he could tell her though. She'd probably hate him afterwards. Still, if he wanted her trust, so he could help...

Gary sighed, "I'm okay at home. No worries there... as long as my older step-brother isn't around," he rolled his eyes, "but that's not even close to the level that you are talking about. He's just a jerk." He poked his food for a moment before continuing, "I've got an explanation on that front, but I don't know if you'll like it. If you want to reconsider me for the team afterwards, I'll understand."

He considered where to begin while staring at the plate in front of him, "I guess you and Heinrich aren't the only ones who haven't talked about your family much." Pausing just a moment, he continued, "My mom died about two years before I started coming here to Sonora. Neither Dad or I took it real well. We moved soon afterwards to be closer to my Aunt and Uncle, so Dad would have some more help with me. Mom, Dad and I were always gamers, but Mom had been the one to pull us out to do other things. Once she was gone, we delved in hard and stayed there. It was an escape for both of us. My uncle wasn't much of a gamer but he was, still is, a psychologist. He came in looking for us, and used the games to help bring us out again."

Gary swallowed hard, some bit of breakfast must have gotten stuck in his throat. The fact that he wasn't putting anything in his mouth was largely irrelevant. "Anyway," he continued finally trying to look up at Evelyn again, "Since then, gaming has always been a refuge and a defense mechanism. I... I hadn't even noticed it happen again while you were talking, but it did." he dropped his eyes again, maybe she'd just be better off without him. He couldn't just abandon her. What help could he be without making things worse? She needed help. She wasn't a helpless damsel in distress, she had actual friends. She was a friend.

Gah! He shook his head to clear it. "When you started telling me about your situation, I started getting upset, and the defensive mechanism kicked in again. I'm sorry. Your whole, terrible situation just became an adventure to be won in my head, just a game to be won or lost." He looked at her again with a forlorn look, "You are dealing with real things, dangerous things that have real consequences. I can't promise that my broken head won't just cause problems."

2 Gary Harper Alright, I won't. 1404 0 5

Evelyn Stones

July 01, 2020 1:31 PM

We can focus on you? That's easier. by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn wrinkled her nose with humor, laughing at Gary's suggestion. "Gabriela, eh? I've always fancied myself something more exciting, like Nastya or something. Might be a little harder to make believable." She nodded about having variety, although she wasn't quite convinced. "I'm a little variety by being Pecari, right?" she confirmed.

Referring to her dad as a jailer made her stomach squirm. Again, Gary was so close to the truth and not maybe realising how tender a nerve he was poking at. It sort of made her want to scream. Instead, she spoke in a very quiet voice, trying not to acknowledge what she couldn't quite deny. "If I go back, I won't be able to leave," she said. And she only meant for the weekends, right? She only meant that he wouldn't let her go to play games with friends? That was it. Because it would be fine.

She sat quietly while he offered his own story and Evelyn couldn't help feeling dirty. She'd been selfish again. But at the same time, there was someone right in front of her who needed help.

Without really thinking about it, she leaned forward to pat Gary's arm warmly. "Hey, that's okay. Everyone has something, you know? And if you have to step out of things a little bit to be able to work through it, that's a lot better than being like . . . Potion addiction or something. You're doing just fine and you help a lot. I definitely still want you on my team." She smiled and leaned back to her regular position. "I'm sorry about your mom. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Your head isn't broken, though. I'm too close to this stuff to get a good perspective and it's easier to think through if it's a puzzle or a game. We can win that way," she smiled, feeling almost confident.

22 Evelyn Stones We can focus on you? That's easier. 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

July 02, 2020 5:53 PM

I guess, but I'm not that interesting. by Gary Harper

Gary shrugged, "It's a work in progress, the official documents won't be ready until next Thursday, so we've still got time to change them if you'd prefer Nastya." He grinned, "But don't wait to long or you'll be stuck." Nodding along with her reasoning he replied, "Yup. You Pecaris are good for keep us stodgy Aladren types on our toes."

His eyes narrowed at her response, 'Not be able to leave'? That didn't sound good. It didn't entirely sound like she though it sounded good either. Was the situation as dire as that? He thought back to what she had told him of the situation; it wasn't safe with her dad (anger spike), her dad had been in jail but was released (anger directed toward the system), her dad wanted her back and was offering custody of the brother in exchange. How was that custody even relevant if she was stuck there? She could send him away possibly, to the McLeods? How old was Evelyn? Once she turned 17, she could get out. She was in Ness' class, but hadn't it come up at one point that she started a year late? He wasn't sure at what point it became inadvisable to ask a girl about her age, but he wasn't foolish enough to take that risk right now.

What about school? Wizarding school was mandatory, wasn't it? She had to come back next year, it would be for the summer at most? To many questions. How 'not safe' was it with her dad? Could he make her dad vanish quietly in the middle of the night sometime without anyone being the wiser? Could he be convinced in some other way to release his hold on them? He was going to need a lot more information if he was going to be of any help... at least in any sort of 'white guy, problem solving for the helpless girl' sort of way. He let out a sigh and stashed any plans he had started into the back of his mind.

He froze as her hand touched his arm, he would have like to have said that the touch felt 'electrifying' or something along those lines that was always how some things like that were described. It wasn't though, it was just a warm hand touching him. It was nice, but not in any extreme way, it was more comforting. Like... he didn't really know, from a sister that actually cared about him? He didn't really know what that was supposed to feel like, but if this was it, it was good. He half wanted to put his own hand on top of hers to hold it there, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. Evelyn was trapped enough as it was without him adding to that feeling. He certainly didn't pull away though.

He smiled at her acceptance of his issues. She had worse ones, current ones. He was doing what he could to accept her problems and do whatever she needed to help deal with them. From the sounds of things, right now she needed some hope. A light at the end of the tunnel, but not one that was the platitudes of 'it'll all work out fine, don't worry.' This was a thing to worry about, and something to take action against, but it was still something that could be overcome.

"It was hard," he started and stopped abruptly. His gut twisted and flashes of images burned back through his mind. The police officer at their doorstep, the funeral, Dad buried in paperwork tearing apart his office, spending days locked in his room, leaving his old friends to move, sitting in the new basement making characters with Dad instead of unpacking... He squeezed his eyes shut and filed them all back where they belonged. It had been a long time since they'd burst out like that.

"It... still can be hard." He continued after a moment. Then he looked back up at Evelyn, "But we worked through it." His breathing was returning to normal, had he been holding it? "I still miss her terribly, Dad does as well, but... life has moved on. He met June and they got married... four years ago? Man it doesn't seem like that long. She's nice and been good for Dad. Her previous husband had died as well. If it weren't for her kids, it really wouldn't be bad at all." He gave her a hopeful smile. "Bad situations suck and there is only so much you can do about them. But, you've got to do whatever you can to make them better. Figure out your ideal outcome and fight tooth and nail to make it happen. Take any advantage you can, stack the deck as much in your favor as possible and fight dirty if you need to." He grinned, "Eliminate the dice whenever you can, don't give them the chance to roll a one on you."

He nodded along with her sentiment, "That is the way to win. Just don't forget it's real life and if everything goes bad we can't just look around the table at each other and say 'well that plan didn't work' and roll up some new characters for the next adventure."

2 Gary Harper I guess, but I'm not that interesting. 1404 Gary Harper 0 5

Evelyn Stones

July 03, 2020 1:57 PM

Of course you are!! by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn grinned, feeling good about being the exciting one. She was well aware that she was the more spontaneous, adventurous of her social circle, but she also wasn't unique in that. Ness was certainly adventurous. Heinrich was exciting in his way. Parker was a paramount Pecari and she admired that about him, so there was some good there for sure. Really, Teppenpaw and Crotalus were just not in her groups so much. That was interesting to think about. What did it say about her? Or what did that say about DnD actually, too? She supposed Val was Teppenpaw, but the girl would've given a Pecari a run for their money. Connor had been a Crotalus but he'd been quiet and Evelyn didn't feel like she ever really got to know him, despite playing together.

Gary, it seemed, was not okay. For all the facade he put on - indeed, Evelyn had never really noticed anything amiss until recently - he was hurting. Hurt that dug itself down and buried itself in heart tissue and rib bones and made it hard to breathe was the easiest to hide because it became the new normal. It became the neutral expression when he forgot to be DM for a minute and the reason he went back to it. For Evelyn, it was the playful smile that was easier to conjure than anything else, because she was putting it on. She was putting it all on. Perhaps that was fatalistic; she knew that wasn't always the case. But it felt like it sometimes. Maybe Gary felt like it too.

She nodded. "My mom is re-married, too," she said softly. "But I don't see her anymore so I don't know if he's nice at all," she chuckled. Because chuckling was easier.

It was nice to hear Gary talk about the tooth-and-nail fight to victory because it was a feeling Evelyn related to. She wasn't sure she'd ever explained it very well to Heinrich or Ness. She hadn't really thought she'd had to; they both seemed to generally understand her, as well as anyone could from the outside. Except they weren't really on the outside now. . . . and she had to make a decision soon.

The odd thing was how many people seemed to feel it necessary to remind her that things might go poorly. Like she didn't already know. She supposed it was a good balm for the reckless side of her that was ready to yolo herself right back to Oregon for the sake of getting this all done and over with, but it was still irritating. "Hard to forget," she replied neutrally. "I'm just rolling for survival at this point."

A thought occurred to her then and she cocked her head. "What school did you say you're going to?" she asked suddenly, eager eyes betraying the depth of her interest. Mr. Row had provided a lot of information to her, but it was all a bit overwhelming and firsthand knowledge seemed generally more useful. "Do you know what other programs they have? Where is it?"

22 Evelyn Stones Of course you are!! 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

July 04, 2020 9:56 AM

Perhaps you have me confused with someone else? by Gary Harper

It felt like a minor weight lift from him when he saw Evelyn grin. She looked properly happy for a moment or so. Then it seemed to fade and she talked about her mother. That boiled up a whole different category of anger inside Gary. Her mother had left?! He could only assume because she had found out how terrible of a person Evelyn's father was. Leaving was... fine in that case, probably the right thing to do... but to leave her daughter behind with someone she knew was a horrible person!? What the #*($&#!!!!! Who does that!? What was she thinking?!? Mothers should...

He closed his eyes to try and quell the emotion surging through him. There was a moment or two of trying to get his breath back under control again. He pounded the table with his fist once, then without realizing it, opened that hand and placed it on top of Evelyn's that still rested on his arm. He pulled himself together and made himself look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry. As much as this is about you, it is about so much more as well. This is about removing a blight from our society so that it can still call itself civilized and continue to function. This is a about making a statement that this sort of behavior is not okay and will not be tolerated." He deflated a bit and gave her a look of resigned sadness yet still contained a glint of hope, "This will not go well for anyone involved." He gave her hand an affectionate squeeze and then released it.

Just to forestall any thoughts she may have, he continued "Do no think you can keep us from being involved for our own safety. It is a noble thought to try and protect us from what dangerous may come, but it is futile. This is not just between you and your father. This is between any that has a voice to raise against the society that has allowed such a thing to happen in the first place." He gave her another semi-apologetic look, one that clearly said I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be, deal with it. "You'll be on the front lines of this fight, but if you think you can keep any of us from fighting along side with you, or supporting or healing from the back, you are fooling yourself. If we are a team, we fight like one. If not... we'll fight all around you to the best of our abilities."

The school question caught him off guard. "MENTAL," he responded reflexively. "The Magical Engineer, Nature, and Technology Academy of Learning." She had a yearning look in her eyes. This would be information she wanted about the future? That was good he hoped. Looking forward was good in a situation like this. Right? "I'm not quite sure what all other programs they actually have, I hadn't really looked at any other than their architectural one. They were quite diverse if I remember correctly though. It's located just outside of Pagosa Springs Colorado on the edge of the Rio Grande National Forest." He gave her a look, "Why?"

2 Gary Harper Perhaps you have me confused with someone else? 1404 0 5

Evelyn Stones

July 04, 2020 10:21 AM

I didn't think so but maybe . . . by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn jumped when Gary suddenly slammed his fist into the table and, to her great irritation, her instinct still seemed to be to freeze, as she didn't pull her hand back from his arm. But she wilted, feeling very small and very scared, even if she couldn't quite put words to it.

Banging on her bedroom door woke her up, but it was still dark out. Her first thought was an emergency had occurred, but surely her mother would have just come and gotten her if that were the case? Which meant this wasn't her mother, it was her father. The banging was accompanied by shouting then, her own name punctuating every five or six slams of what could only be a fist into the door.

"You're so messy, Lyn, get out here and clean up," her dad's voice said, slurring his words. Evelyn had cleaned up and she knew that he was wanting her to clean up whatever dishes he or he and his friends had left out. The banging on her door continued until she got up and opened the door. His fist swung, not realising it had nowhere to swing into now, and only missed her face because she was short enough to be underneath it. He scoffed with disgust and turned his back on her.

Her eyes were wide and she forced them to blink, to push away the look of fear that was undoubtedly all that Gary would find there now. She flinched again when he put his hand on hers and if she hadn't already wilted, she would have when he started talking. When he let go of her hand, she yanked it back away from him, clutching it in her other as if to check for burns. Gary wasn't trying to be threatening, she was sure, but he was being.

Then, she was angry. Furious. Seething, raging angry. The table shook with a banging sound that seemed to have no source, but shake it did, and the breakfast items rattled angrily on top. "I don't need another person telling me what I can and can't do, or another person making decisions for me," she began, speaking low at first but her voice rising as she went on. She could hear herself getting ready to yell and managed to reel it back in, keeping her voice low, but shaky as she continued: "I don't need another person stepping in to tell me what's best for me and pushing me off to the side to watch it all happen. I do NOT!!"

She took a breath and closed her eyes, and the table stopped shaking. Professor Wright would be disappointed in that. When she opened them, she was glaring. "This won't go well for anyone involved? Well, friend, it already hasn't." She yanked her sleeve off her torn forearm and waved it in front of him, not usually one to make such a show of an injury but feeling it was relevant now. "It. Already. Hasn't. Don't you dare add to the list of people who think they know what's best for me because if you screw this up and I lose my brother because of it, I'll-- I'll--." She gave up, and deflated.

The next time she took a breath, she felt empty and weak. She'd been ready to threaten her friend, because what? He was trying to be helpful? She really was just like her father. Tears pushed themselves up and out again and she buried her face in her hands for a moment. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Gary, I didn't-- I'm so sorry." She felt like a live wire, ready to jerk away at the slightest hint of someone trying to touch her.

She couldn't explain why her mind went to school then, except perhaps to think of places to go to become better than herself. Eager as she was, she was desperate, too. Gary answered her questions, though, and that was a good sign.

"I want to go to law school," she replied a little stiffly. "I'm already planning on doing what I can to fix this system," she added quietly, hoping he understood. Hoping he knew that she wasn't mad at him so much as the lot she'd been dealt and that being told what was going to happen with or without her felt as much like having her one shot at changing anything taken away as anything could have. She hung her head again. "I'm so so sorry."

22 Evelyn Stones I didn't think so but maybe . . . 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

July 04, 2020 12:33 PM

Maybe Heinrich? He's interesting by Gary Harper

Gary sat stunned and aghast at what he had done. The now familiar thought rolled through his mind again, 'this was not now this was supposed to go'. He watched, wide-eyed and terrified as Evelyn exploded in rage at him. The warm feeling he had at being accepted by her was doused immediately. It was replaced by the cold loneliness that usually resided in that spot of his being. He shouldn't have come. He shouldn't have tried to talk to her. He was bad at this. He had only made things worse, just as he knew he would. He should just leave her in peace, and stop trying to talk to people. It never went well.

Her points sank home and buried themselves within him. She'd already talked to him about making decisions for people. Now she had to shout it into his face to get it to stick. She was right in that. It was her life and her choices. He didn't want to 'push her off to the side' he only wanted to help support her. But if she didn't want that... it was her decision. What did he know? Nothing. What was he good for.... nothing.

She was waving something in his face then as the furious words continued to pelt against him. It was her arm, injured. He didn't know what was the best for her... but he suspected it didn't involve injured arms. Then she stabbed him in the heart.

if you screw this up...

The rest of the statement was lost to him. He head dropped to stare blankly at his plate that still held his forgotten food. It stayed forgotten. If you screw this up echoed through his head again and again. Something burned around his unseeing eyes. He already had. He would again. He had warned her that he would. What more would his mistakes cost her? Didn't she already have enough problems as it was? He should just leave. She would be better off without him.

He shifted in his seat, preparing to stand up when he heard her... apologizing? For what? Speaking the truth? He raised his head enough to look at her, although his vision was blurry for some reason. He tried to blink it away, she was crying and that would not do. He had been a miserable and cruel person to her and that was the last thing she needed. "No..." the word caught in his throat, and he had to swallow before he could get any more out. "You do not need to apologize for speaking the truth. It is not nearly enough to make it up to you, but please believe that I am sorry."

He opened his mouth to say more, but then closed it again. No, more talk could only make it worse. She wanted to go to law school, to make a difference. More of a difference than he could ever make in his life. He nodded in understanding and gave her a weak but hopefully encouraging smile. Any niceties along the lines of 'you'll do great' or 'that's wonderful' seemed stupid and inane at this point.

Finally after a moment or two of silence, he broke it. "I.." he stopped again. Nothing good would come from it, but still he couldn't just sit here in silence or just walk away. "I want you to know, to believe me, when I say that I do not want to detract from the things you have already faced, or from what you have still ahead of you. I simply want you to win. In my mind, you have never not been in complete command of anyone who offers their aid to you and your cause.... even if I said it very poorly. Again, I am sorry." He paused, "My offer still stands. You may ask me for anything and if it is in my power, I will not hesitate." He looked down at his plate, still largely untouched, "Now, for instance. Would you prefer that I leave you in peace?"

2 Gary Harper Maybe Heinrich? He's interesting 1404 0 5

Evelyn Stones

July 04, 2020 2:37 PM

Heinrich is great, I'll give you that. by Evelyn Stones

Evelyn wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to shake. She had caused so much damage and it was cruel and needless. Then she found herself reaching out to herself, to all the broken bits and pieces. Tendrils and bandages with names like Heinrich, Ness, Gary, Parker... She pulled all her pieces together and tied them up as best she could. She would NOT be like her father. She was absolutely going to see that therapist. She was going to be better. Because she couldn't keep being like this.

"I know," she promised. "I shouldn't have gotten upset. I... My dad used to pound on my door like that," she said, nodding to where he'd hit the table. "And it put me in a bad space. That isn't your fault, and you were trying to help. You are helpful. I am so sorry, Gary."

She was, she realised, feeding her bad wolves. What would Heinrich think of her now? Would he hate her for who she was letting herself be? She hoped not.

"No, don't," she said, shocked that Gary would leave her. "Please. I'm sorry. You can if you want to but I don't want you to. I don't mean to be like that, and I... Can't make it up to you. You don't deserve to be treated like that by anyone. If anyone else talked to you like that, I'd hex them."

She lowered her eyes, not wanting to be manipulative. "All I want is your friendship. Really."

22 Evelyn Stones Heinrich is great, I'll give you that. 1422 0 5

Gary Harper

July 04, 2020 6:44 PM

Good, we have that settled then. by Gary Harper

Gary shook his head gently, he didn't know what to say. He was bad at this. His charisma modifier gave him maybe a one in four chance at best of succeeding at whatever he was trying to accomplish when he rolled that die. He couldn't agree or argue with her whether or not she should or should not have gotten upset. He could see any response being taken wrongly. Yet at the same time, she seemed to be almost pleading with him for forgiveness. He sighed.

"Apology accepted," he said as sincerely as he could. "It hurt, it hurt a lot," he found himself admitting, "but it is alright. I understand and I am sorry as well. I fear messing things up for you as well, I don't want to be the reason anything falls apart... either through action or inaction. This is why I need to keep reminding myself that this isn't a game. I need you to keep reminding me of that as well." He gave her a grin, "Please, I am asking you to slap me in the face when I need it. You and your brother's overall well-being is more important than my feelings right now." The 'right now' was a quick addition. They didn't really matter at all to him compared to Evelyn's situation but he thought that might alleviate some of her concerns.

"I just got a different type of mad when you told me about your.. mother." He spit out the last word with distaste. "The thought that she could abandon you to such a situation..." His hand began to unconsciously curl back into a fist and his expression hardened, "She does not deserve an honorific such as that. A Mother should...." He stopped, and looked at the fist as if he'd never seen it before. He closed his eyes, willed his hand to open and pushed that emotion back down again. He spoke slowly, "Again, I'm sorry as well. I do not know the whole situation." Traces of the stern countenance slowly gave way to a more sheepish expression. "Our bad spaces may be at odds..."

A relieved smile washed across his face as she asked him to stay. "I don't want to leave, but if you want some space I want to give it to you. There is nothing to make up to me. I am your friend and you cannot owe a friend. You are not in a good position, you have a lot of stress, and..." he added with a wry grin, "you admitted to needed more sleep." He smiled warmly, "Please if you feel the need to vent or explode, come find me. I'm no psychiatrist or anything, but..." He sat up straight, puffed out his chest and crossed his arms in front of him and gave her a haughty look, "I'm a big strong 'white guy' some verbal abuse will be good for me."

He relaxed to a normal sitting position and smiled again, "Seriously though. I wouldn't mind you considering me 'safe person' to vent and scream at when you need to." He poked at his food a moment then looked back up at her. "How do you feel about a change in subject? Some games we're having so far? Right? Did you have fun with that Shadowrun hacker?"

2 Gary Harper Good, we have that settled then. 1404 0 5

Evelyn Stones

July 05, 2020 5:22 PM

You're great too. Different great. But great. by Evelyn Stones

CW: Internalised victim blaming, self-harm

It broke her heart to hear how badly she'd hurt Gary and she had the distinct urge to run away and find some suitable punishment for herself. The horrifying thought momentarily crossed her mind that this was the reason her father threw things at her and that if Gary wanted to do the same, then he was in the right to. She had to remind herself in words - quiet, internal ones thankfully - that that was not actually how things were supposed to work and she wasn't supposed to let people be mean to her when she made them unhappy. Or ever, probably.

She pushed that thought aside and actually laughed at Gary's response. "Friend, do you know how hard you would have to work to screw things up more for me?" Her stomach flipped again when he said she should slap him though. With this many casual comments in one conversation, all filed down to exactly the right narrow point to break through her armor, she thought that maybe she should give him a heads up. "Your feelings are important to me," she said firmly before continuing a little more softly. "But I wouldn't slap you . . . it's . . . not really a great feeling," she grimaced, wrinkling her nose and looking at him with high hopes that he understood why she didn't like the phrasing.

Evelyn had never really thought about why she preferred to try to reason with goblins and kobolds and rats and why she would rather offer her ration pack to an enemy than kill it if she could when they played together, or why she was so anxious about the fact that she was going to be playing Beater at the upcoming game. Violence, it turned out, was not her comfort zone.

"My mom sucks for sure," she agreed casually, trying to make light of it with a wry smile. "We used to be best friends. But . . . well, you're right. It is hard to be best friends with someone who abandons you to a crappy situation. I don't think my brother will even remember her probably. You know I've got a sister now? Michaela." She wrinkled her nose again. "I have seriously so many siblings - half-siblings, step-siblings, foster siblings, etc. - but I grew up as an only child and it's weird."

He pointed out their conflicting bad spaces and Evelyn smiled sympathetically. "Has Heinrich ever told you about good wolves and bad wolves?" she asked. "I think Professor Brooding-Hawthorne told him about it. The potions one. The idea is that everyone has two wolves inside them and the one that wins is the one that you feed. You can tell if something is coming from the bad wolf inside you because the bad wolf bites." She took a breath, remembering when Heinrich had first shared the philosophy with her. "I think it's Native American maybe? It's been a helpful way of looking at things for me. When everything is confusing and too hard, I ask whether my actions bite, and how I can do better." She considered Gary for a moment. "You've got a well-fed good wolf, I think. Venting and exploding go up there with biting, I think, so we'll skip to gentle encouragement probably," she added, smirking. "You can be a safe person for me and also just a safe person as a whole. Safety is good."

She took another bite of cereal. If all her meals went this way, she was going to be even more exhausted, but at least she was eating some. She took a sip of the milk from the bowl to keep the proportion a bit more even.

The topic changed and Evelyn smiled a little more easily, happy for a lighter subject. "I did," she grinned. "I definitely would've been interested in computer science if I'd stuck around muggle school," she added. "But I'm real nervous to run a game of my own. Do you think you'll like getting to actually play?"

22 Evelyn Stones You're great too. Different great. But great. 1422 0 5