The Beginning of the End of My Life on Labyrinth Gardens

Renée Errant

June 12, 2011 4:42 PM

The Beginning of the End of My Life by Renée Errant

Beyond enraged, Renée fled from the common room to the gardens, the note from Soledad clenched in her fist. 'Like I haven't done enough for that - that - ' She didn't actually know the accurate word in Spanish, and she was afraid thinking the word in English would summon Marianna to her and she'd be punished. 'Like I haven't done enough!' She wasn't really sure what she could do. It might have been obvious to others that this would happen, but for Renée the only consequences of accepting at twelve what her abuelos had offered was one lie (consistent, huge, but only one) and a few stuffy parties. She was convinced David didn't really mind he was playing the role of step-father, and beyond that the lie didn't matter except for the odd urges she sometimes had to declare herself as she really was. But now this - this was - "I hate that woman!"

Soledad. Powerful and beautiful and old though she looked decades younger than what she was. Charming and conniving and utterly clever and vicious. Protective, dismissive, passionate and controlled. Long dark hands running through Renée's hair while Marianna looked jealously on. The walking night draped in sunshed golds, oranges, and browns. Renée wanted to be her, Marianna wanted to be her, and both couldn't stand that overbearing woman that dared to control them and could simply by seniority (and something more that even Marianna hadn't yet achieved).

'Had I sold my soul to Circe herself I would be just as powerful as you too, abuela.' She cursed her in Circe's name, winding around hedges, robes draping the ground as they steadily slipped off her shoulders. Her hair was unwinding in long dark curls draping her shoulders and she knew instinctively to head deeper into the heart of the Labyrinth when she got like this. She came across a familiar looking fountain (a merman straining for something above him, his tail curled around him to create a bench while water spouted from his eyes and mouth) and collapsed onto it, smoothing out the letter and frustrated tears began to emerge though they did not yet fall. 'Maybe I read it wrong.' Wide brown eyes narrowed and she crumpled the note again, forcefully thrusting her fist into the water, still holding the note and unable to let go of it. She could feel it sag and thin beneath the water. She imagined the ink slipping off and prayed that this would mean nothing counted. Nothing written had mattered.

'No more Quidditch... that's what she said. And now I can't. I have to listen. But I have to play! But I can't. And it's all over.' She'd go mad without the sport. And if she could have - she would have fought against it. But this was Soledad. Someone who almost truly loved her. Someone who made her think about the future (it was so much easier to live in the moment, past and future a haze that meant nothing until she walked through it) and threatened her with it. 'I'm a woman now. It's true. That's what she said.' Renée fingered the golden hoops bumping against her cheek, a few tears caught on the metal. "No more Quidditch."

She was pretty sure she had a class about now. Or maybe it had ended. Maybe it was lunch time. She couldn't focus on much more than the fist in her hand, her hand in the water, the tears from the Merman cooling her down and the foul taste in her mouth from the words she'd just declared. 'My life is over.' What a way to begin the term.

0 Renée Errant The Beginning of the End of My Life 0 Renée Errant 1 5

Charlotte Abbott

June 13, 2011 9:52 AM

That sounds drastic by Charlotte Abbott

Traditionally, Charlie tended to catch up with Daniel at or just after the Opening Feast. As it turned out, she'd caught up with Marissa, instead, and by the time she was ready to leave Cascade, Daniel had already gone. No matter; there was the rest of the year to talk about their summers. Then again, she found herself with nothing to do, so had decided to look for the Head Boy. She's tried the library first, obviously, but hadn't found him there. She'd had a quick catch-up with James but he was busy, so the Crotalus hadn't stayed long and headed out to the gardens to continue her search; she'd bumped into Daniel a couple of times in the labyrinth before, so it was possible it would happen again.

However, after a good quarter of an hour wandering round, Charlie still hadn't located him, and came to the conclusion he might be in the Aladrens commons, where she couldn't reach him anyway (or maybe in a class but she didn't think he was taking anything scheduled for that morning). It wasn't important - she came to the conclusion that it would be far less frustrating to abandon her search. Instead she decided to wander deeper into the gardens, purely for enjoyment. There was no homework to worry about yet, and Charlie had finished unpacking already. In seven years she hadn't been especially far through the labyrinth, so now seemed a good a time as any to explore, before she ran out of chances. Adittedly she wasn't really dressed for exploration in high-waisted fitted cream shorts and a lemon-yellow fitted halterneck, but at least she was wearing flats (yellow ballet pumps) rather than heels.

She'd walked a fair way and was preparing to gradually make her way back towards the school when over the trickle of a waterwall from behind her, Charlie could have sworn she heard the words 'No More Quidditch' being uttered. Poking her head round the hedge to check whether she'd been imagining it, the seventh year saw her teammate Renée sitting with one hand in the fountain, and she sincerely hoped for the first time in her life that she'd been hallucinating. "Renée?" she sought to attract the younger girls' attention. "Are you okay?"

0 Charlotte Abbott That sounds drastic 135 Charlotte Abbott 0 5

Renée

June 13, 2011 7:41 PM

Drastic and true! My life is nearing its end! by Renée

She blinked, looking up to see her captain/head girl in the gardens. Was this a sign to taunt her, test her, or lead her down a certain path? Renée flushed suddenly beneath the darkly tanned skin, pulling her hand out of the water, the note dripping water and a little ink down her fingers. "I'm - si. Fine. Yes, I'm fine." She was steadily becoming fully aware of the tear tracks on her cheeks (a little sticky and she released the note onto her lap to brush the cold wet hand beneath her eyes across her cheeks), the slight mess of robes now drooped past her elbows (there was a little heat in the air and she felt more comfortable in the skirt and white tank top she wore beneath anyway), and the mess of dark curly hair (that never could be helped). She wasn't a particularly self conscious person, but even she couldn't not feel a little embarrassment to be caught like this.

'At least I can get this all over with now. Do it now.' She wouldn't have to seek her captain out. Perhaps this was a merciful gesture from the gardens and the creatures inhabiting it. She opened her mouth to say something to Charlie, but her breath caught in her throat and she turned her head away to give a light cough, made to stall more than to clear her throat. "Ah, actually, since you're here anyway, I'm not sure if you thought about it at all," She wet her lips, hands rubbing her knees, one of them over the crumpled note. "But about the team... I'm not trying out this year." Her lips trembled a little but she pursed them immediately, stiffening her face and continued talking. "So, I just thought that you should know."

She nodded with finality, and looked down at the note again. She was convinced of only her own pain. Though now that she was plummeting down this tunnel of dank depression and loneliness, an enslavement with no liberty of flight she felt almost excited for it. 'Romantic.' How many plays had she been taken to when she longed to play the part of the desperate heroine? Now she had the chance. Of course, there was not much of a happy ending in sight, no knight to come and save her, but the fear that that brought added to the thrill of this tragedy. 'Maybe this depressing end of my life thing will be fun.' She tried to hold on to the romantic feeling. At least it would give her an occupation to focus on for the remainder of the year. For the remainder of all the years of her life.

0 Renée Drastic and true! My life is nearing its end! 0 Renée 0 5

Charlotte

June 15, 2011 8:23 AM

Well none of us are getting any younger by Charlotte

Nope, no hallucinating - that was definitely Renée, and she looked fairly miserable. Coming back to school could do that to some people, but surely it wasn't that bad. Then again, it wasn't as if the two girls really knew each other that well outside of a Quidditch capacity. Charlotte walked over, abandoning her return to school for a few more minutes. Renée was talking to her, so Charlie listened. Then she did a double-take. "What?" she said immediately. If her tone was demanding and disbelieving, it merely reflected what she was feeling. Her star Chaser had just claimed she wasn't going to sign up for the team. this could not be happening.

"You have to play," she said, nudging Renée over on the bench and sitting down next to her. She bit back the comments about another firstie Beater and how she was going to have to bribe and/or threaten Nic into playing again. As the last game had demonstrated, even nic was better than no Keeper at all. It had also demonstrated that Charlie and Sam could struggle along for a short amount of time without Renée, but there was no denying that without her being there for most of the game, Aladren would have slaughtered them even more substantially.

Of course, while she was determined to get a good, full team this year - her last year at Sonora - Charlie was still a reasonable human being. She knew that Renée liked Quidditch, so there must be some reason she was giving it up. Plus she looked upset, so yelling at her probably wasn't going to help matters any. Taking a calming breath, Charlie schooled her voice and expression, and then said, "What's happened to change your mind?"

0 Charlotte Well none of us are getting any younger 0 Charlotte 0 5

Renée

June 16, 2011 4:53 PM

On a scale of 1 - 10, how comforting do you think you are? by Renée

Renée took a quick break from her depressed state to reflect on whom Charlie actually was; fire breathing dragonish captain who'd made head girl twice and was known to issue more threats and curses (the verbal kind not so much the magic kind) than anyone she'd ever known (except perhaps Marianna who did use the magic kind) and while Renée respected her immensely she was not exempt from fearing her like her other teammates, though slightly less so due to the fact that Renée was usually focused on the game when she was on the pitch, and swimming in fantasies when she was off. Quick break over, Renée slid back into resigned depression, uncaring if Charlie chose to end her suffering by killing her.

Nothing happened though, except for Charlie nudging her and Renée slid down for Charlie to settle down next to her on the bench. The merman's tears and sprinkled a little bit down the nape of her neck. She bit her lip at Charlie's insistence that she play, not wanting to cry out that she agreed. 'Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.' Beside her, the older girl seemed to calm down, and Renée shifted uncomfortably at the next question. "My family..." She turned her head to try to make it look like she was brushing hair from her eyes while she rubbed furiously at her eyes, not thinking clearly on how to get rid of the redness. "They don't want me playing anymore. Because... it's not right for wom - me to do that." She was tactful just enough to at least try and not outright proclaim Charlie was perhaps improper. 'Anyway, I think you're awesome. I want to play, I'm really sorry.' Her fingers flexed and crinkled the letter.

She hadn't actually been thinking of the harm this would do to the team, only the harm to herself, but thought on it now with panic. Even if she wasn't going to be on it, she still wanted them to win... 'No I don't.' If they won without her... flew without her... if somebody even dared to take the position that was hers she would - she would - 'Do nothing.' She visibly sank within herself, feeling very much unlike herself. Crotalus probably would win without her. She was a bad luck charm. A walking omen of treachery and deceit. She tried to think of her no longer being on the team as a noble sacrifice. She would suffer, so that they could win. She was a martyr. What a thrill, what an adventure, 'What a load of BS.' She waited for Charlie to either kill her or just leave.

0 Renée On a scale of 1 - 10, how comforting do you think you are? 0 Renée 0 5

Charlie

June 19, 2011 1:02 PM

I'm guessing around a 2 by Charlie

Ah, family. The curse every student must bare. Charlie practically winced at the word. She knew most parents had their offsprings' best intentions at heart, but they could be so very wrong a lot of the time. She hadn't known much about Renée's family before now, but as her Chaser continued to explain, the Head Girl was getting a better picture. She wasn't at all offended when Renée almost said it wasn't proper for girls to play Quidditch. She was in Crotalus House, and in her seventh year; Charlie'd heard her fair share of girls whispering behind her back. That wasn't even the worst thing people whispered about, she was sure of it. Luckily she'd never really taken much stock in what other people thought of her, her own family included. She'd thought Renée was of a similar disposition, but perhaps this family thing was their difference.

"It's unladylike, it'll turn you into a lesbian, nobody will want to marry you?" she reeled off the likely falsehoods Renée had been told. "It's bull," she concluded, having mildly better control of her language than usual. "Did you know I'm a pureblood?" she put to Renée. People generally suspected she was Muggleborn because of the fact that her parents ran a Muggle hotel in Chicago and were, to all appearances, Muggles. "My parents would rather I didn't play Quidditch, too," she added, "but because they'd rather I didn't touch a broomstick at all, or a wand, or even come to Sonora. See, your family thinks they knows what's best for you. They can be so very, very wrong." Admittedly she was using her own as an example here, but she was sure it must apply to other people's parents, too.

"They want you to be happy, right? And playing Quidditch makes you happy. So where's the harm?" Charlie reflected that this might not be the most mature and sensible advice she could offer a potential socialite of tomorrow, but thoughts of the Quidditch team were guding her actions in a way that refused to allow her to be unbiased on the matter.

0 Charlie I'm guessing around a 2 0 Charlie 0 5

Renée

June 20, 2011 2:47 AM

I'll give you a 3 for effort. by Renée

She stayed silent while Charlie proceeded to simplify the situation and pronounce the solution to it. She wasn't exactly sure what the problem with her playing Quidditch was. Soledad had expressed that whatever she chose to do behind closed doors was her business, whatever she did only among family members seemed perfectly fine, but it was the act of playing the game in front of the school, in public that seemed to upset her. Everything about Soledad was hidden. Renée knew nothing about her; she could vaguely recall the village her abuela grew up in, but what had her family been like, her people, how had she felt meeting Oro for the first time, and having a child? What had her abuela been like as a little girl, and how different was she now? How similar? There was a veil Renée longed to pull open. Marianna, too, craved to rip it off and expose her. But Soledad was never questioned, and Soledad always won; allowed to cover up Marianna and Renée's own secret truths.

The words Charlie spoke were very nice, but they were lies as well. Renée grasped them to her heart and teased herself with hope, Charlie's words drifting through her ear. 'They don't know what's best for me. They're wrong. They want me to be happy. Quidditch makes me happy. Soledad wants me to be happy, and Quidditch makes me happy.' The words drifted out and Renée was very near to bursting into frustrated tears. 'You're a woman now. Don't cry, don't cry, don't you dare cry.' She turned her face away again, struggling against the muscles flexing in her face, aching to stretch her jaw to scream, shout and sob. Her eyes burned even greater, forcefully restraining tears. A few slipped out from beneath long dark curled lashes, and a shudder trembled through her frame but she gathered herself after tortured seconds.

"Charlie, I don't care about that stuff. I don't care about marriage or any of that. I swear I would do anything to stay on the team." Her voice broke, her nose felt heavy and she kept her face turned away. "But I can't. I can't. Mi abuela es - I - I mean, my grandmother is determined. She'll disown me. And - and I don't even care about that. Pero ella no quiere hablar conmigo. Ella me odia." Her eyes clenched, she took a steadying breath, struggling for control. 'Don't cry. Don't cry.' "She won't talk to me ever again. I don't want her to hate me over something like this." Her birth she couldn't help, but Soledad had forgiven her it. Quidditch was apart of her, something Renée would have thought (had she ever suspected it would even be an issue) would have been forgiven too. It wasn't, and she was going to be a little broken, a little destroyed. 'This is what being a woman means... sacrifice.'

"Charlie, I'm - I'm really sorry." In all her experiences in Sonora so far, of any of the apparent wrongs she'd done, this was the first real apology. "I want so badly to stay on the team." She turned her face and looked up at her, a depressed pout formed on her lips, tortured gaze in her widened dark brown eyes, brightened not out of her usual pleasure but out of an anxious exhilaration for the misfortune currently plaguing her. "But I have to put family first, right?" Did Marianna know of this? Did David? Did Gabriel? Merlin, would Gabriel agree with Soledad? Or would he be disappointed in her for giving in? Renée wasn't sure who she was in this moment; who to trust, how to act, what to believe. Reality was still hot flashes of light, and bright colors but it was too hot, and biting cold as well. Grays and browns slinking into silvers and reds. Nothing made any sense. 'I shouldn't have ever gotten off. Stayed on my broom, stayed in the sky, and everything was clear then.'

0 Renée I'll give you a 3 for effort. 0 Renée 0 5

Charlie

June 22, 2011 6:44 AM

Hey, at least I tried by Charlie

She was good at a fair few things; dancing, for one, charms for another. It could be argued that she was pretty good at Quidditch, despite her failure in getting Crotalus to hold that Quidditch Cup. One thing she had never claimed to be good at, however, was comfroting people. Lita could probably testify to this - Charlie tried her best, genuinely she did, but she wasn't very good at understanding why people didn't see things her way. Like now, she got that Renée didn't want to upset her family, but that just didn't bother Charlie. In fact, if her parents had told her not to play Quidditch, she'd go immediately to her broomstick as a matter of priority. Her star Chaser (though it was seeming increasingly unlikely to stay that way) was really getting upset about doing just that.

Charlie barely even noticed when Renée slipped into Spanish - she'd just spent two weeks in Mexico with Adelita's extended family - but the English translation did her her to understand more exactly what was being said. Well, she understood the words, but again not their meaning. If her grandmother would hate her for doing something she loved, then she sounded like a seriously bitter old woman, and Charlie would be glad to be rid of her. She'd never been allowed to speak to any of her grandparets, and she'd gotten along just fine without them. As for being disowened, both of Charlie's older brothers had moved out from home as soon as they were able, and Charlie had every intention of doing the same thing herself. Disownment was only worth something if you feared it, and Renée had claimed that that sort of thing didn't matter to her, so Charlie still didn't get it.

"Charlie, I'm - I'm really sorry," Renée said, and Charlie got the distinct impression she wasn't going to like what was coming next. "I want so badly to stay on the team. But I have to put family first, right?"

Charlie hestitated a moment before she replied. Renée just looked so upset, she couldn't very well sit and bully her to being on the team, or tell her that it was up to her to find her own replacement, or that she'd make sure nobody in Crotalus would ever talk to her again, no matter how much she wanted to be annoyed. "It's really up to you," she said, trying but not really succeeding to keep the comforting tone in her voice. "I'm mean, no kidding, I'd rather eat a bag of bubotuber pus than have to replace you, but if you can't play then you can't play. Just, let me know as soon as you can so I can start bullying other people into playing, yeah?" As it stood, she was already going to have to bully Nic into playing Keeper again, but she was sure she could persuade him. Finding another Chaser though... that wasn't going to be so easy. They might end up with a useless first year, who might just get taken out by Edmond in the first thirty seconds of the game anyway. She sighed and stood up. "I just really wanted to beat Daniel this year," she admitted with a self-deprecating smile.

0 Charlie Hey, at least I tried 0 Charlie 0 5