Professor Deck

December 05, 2006 8:15 AM
Well, he wasn't crying. That was a definite plus. He hadn't cried once today, or the preceding week--and for a man as in tune and unashamed of his emotions as Declan, that was marginally surprising. Especially given today's date. Typically, Deck wasn't one of those people who arbitrarily pinned preferences on days of the week or month--I hate Mondays, Saturdays are the best--as it just made little sense to him. A day was a day was a day was a day, as his mum would say, and its defining quality otherwise was what you did with it, not what place it found on the calender. But today... oh, Deck did hate today with a passion.

Three years. Was it even possible it had been three years?
Deck took a deep breath, folding himself into lotus position and placing his palms in chin mudra on his knees. Just keep breathing. Just get through today. Only eighteen hours and... he consulted his watch quickly, twelve minutes left.

Wait. No. He shook his head; he would not live minute to minute, day to day anymore. He'd done that for a full twenty months, and now... he was mature enough to deal with the anniversary of Michael's death without therapists' tricks, wasn't he? He nodded firmly in answer to his own question. Nevertheless, he began planning out every minute of his day, as he'd been taught to do right after Michael died.

It was 5:48 in the morning now. He would meditate until 7:00, then go into his office and do paperwork; it was a class day, but he didn't have any to teach himself until tomorrow. He should probably owl Maggie, and a few of the lads from BAMA. Maybe his friend in New York. Quite possibly a Howler to Maggie's boyfriend, who was nowhere near good enough for his baby sister. Then lunch, then work, then more owls, then supper...

He slumped out of his meditation pose, drawing his hands up to cover his face, elbows on his knees. "De corde totaliter," he repeated in a quiet, somewhat shaky voice, "et ex menta tota, sum presentaliater absens in remota. De corde totaliter et ex menta tota, sum presentaliater..."\n\n
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0 Professor Deck An Unhappy Anniversary 0 Professor Deck 1 5