Oz wondered whether the sight of him in the library was enough to make Philippe panic and vow not to go get any books, however urgently he might need them. Honestly, if it wasn’t already, it probably would be after today. Just in case he was already at that point, Oz did his best to stay out of sight, so that Philippe wouldn’t know that there was a risk of being ambushed in the potions section… It was probably stupid to even try talking to him, but Oz couldn’t really think of any other options. Mom was a good source of advice on most things, but she couldn’t exactly tell him how relationships worked. Henry even less so. With most things, Oz didn’t really care enough to put the effort in and research—he would happily just dive in, have a go and clean up any mess later. But this was different. He couldn’t afford to do that, when the potential mess was breaking his best friend’s heart, and letting him down, and ruining everything.
When Philippe got up to get a book, Oz slunk forward from his table in the back corner, feeling vaguely guilty for the sneak attack. He rounded the end of the aisle after Philippe, and held his hands up in both greeting and also surrender.
“Hey, look, I know you probably want to punch me in the face sooner than talk to me—or like, whatever the Teppenpaw equivalent is.” Like, maybe frosty glare him to death. “But… Well, like isn’t it your job to help people?” He nodded to the badge on Philippe’s robes. “And like, I swear I’m not being a jerk on purpose. So, can I talk to you? I really need some advice.”
That's a straight line, but luckily I'm not straight
by Philippe Delachene
Philippe wanted to be a diplomat - like an actual professional one, not just a Teppenpaw - and since he wanted to be stationed either in Germany (because that's where Freddie lived) or France (because his dad's family came from there), he was taking both German and French as independent studies. This meant he spent a lot of time in the library (it was quieter here than the Teppenpaw Common Room or the Cascade Hall, plus it had a lot of reference books readily available) working on his elective assignments.
The current one he was working on was about German potion ingredients, and his usual dictionary just didn't cover all of the specialized words he needed. He was pretty sure he remembered Freddie borrowing a German potions book to study, so hoping the school still stocked the tomes written in German (Sonora still had one Hexenmeister left, so hopefully they did, even if Hansel seemed entirely competent in English), Philippe headed over to see if he could find one and figure out if he could pick out the words he needed from context.
Before he got there, though, Oz Spellman accosted him with a baffling opening line. Philippe wasn't sure he had ever wanted to punch anyone in the face, nevermind Oz who, admittedly, wasn't exactly one of his favorite people, but if he'd avoided the younger boy since their last encounter, it had been more to avoid awkwardness than because he'd been harboring violent tendencies.
"I'm not angry with you," he began, to get that sorted out first. "And, yes, I can try to help you. What's up? Do you want to come back to my table?" he gestured back toward his pile of German books. "It's a little more out of the way." He really hoped that didn't come across as flirty or suggestive or anything. He knew from their last talk that Oz was a little touchy about 'looking gay' and Philippe was one of the school's two openly gay guys.
1Philippe DelacheneThat's a straight line, but luckily I'm not straight148905
“Okay. Cool,” Oz said when Philippe said he wasn’t mad at him. His tone conveyed either a level of skepticism or at the very least confusion. Philippe then invited him back to his table on the grounds that it was ‘out of the way.’ Oz frowned a little. He’d chosen the shelves on that basis. Tables felt very public to him. They were fixed and out in the open, whereas between the shelves it was harder for people to see him. Philippe and he could have met here by accident too—it was reasonable that they both just needed potions books.
“Nah, here’s fine, thanks,” he said. And then wondered whether he wanted to choose the table after all because if they were talking here that meant it was time to get on with spilling his secrets. Was he really about to trust Philippe with one of the most personal, potentially destructive things about him himself? And not only his secret, but all the feelings that went with it? Philippe wasn’t mad at him, which was a big relief, but they weren’t friends. In that way though, it made it easier. If Philippe didn’t want to talk to him anymore, it made very little difference to his life. And Philippe was unlikely to cast him out based on what Oz was about to share… He just had to trust him not to spread it around, which was harder, but Philippe did have the authority of being a Teppenpaw and Head Boy, and like… generally nice guy. And Oz knew better than to believe stereotypes, so just because he was gay didn’t mean he was a gossipy little snitch.
“Okay… Don’t laugh. And don’t spread this around. Please?” he checked. “Okay. So… Xavier is….. we kind of have a thing? Like… a boyfriend thing? Don’t tell anyone,” he reiterated. “I know it’s fine and everything, and it’s not like I’m ashamed or whatever,” he said. The way he mumbled it and his whole body was tensing up suggested that whilst he’d learnt to recite those words there might be one or two boxes buried deep within his chest that he hadn’t prised open and examined the contents of. “I mean, my Mom and Henry know,” he added, just so Philippe didn’t think he was that special, or that Oz had no sense of priorities and loyalties. “But no one else.
“And that’s not the problem,” he stepped in quickly before Philippe could start giving him advice on coming out. “The thing is… I don’t know how to be a boy’s boyfriend. I don’t mean the physical side, that’s kinda self-evident. But like… What am I meant to do? I wasn’t that great a boyfriend when I dated a girl, and at least I’d like… vaguely heard of what I was supposed to do, like how I was meant to treat her and stuff but like guys… Guys don’t want flowers, right? Even gay ones? Flowers are just really stupid.
“And Xav’s been through so much crap. He deserves like… one nice thing in his life. One thing that’s actually perfect and great and works the way it’s supposed to. But he got stuck with me instead. How do I not screw this up?” He leaned back against the bookcase, and drew a deep, shaky breath, trying to pull all his feelings back in.
Oz did not want to go back to the table. Whether that was because it was too private (or rather, too open, because its best feature was that you could see who might be lurking within earshot, whereas someone on the other side of a bookshelf could potentially hear even low voices but you might never know they were there), or just because he didn't think they were likely to be overheard in the potions section (not a safe bet in Philippe's opinion, what with it being right at the start of a new school year and therefore before everyone lost their motivation to ’study more this year’), Philippe didn't know, but it was Oz's secret, so he'd let Oz pick the security level necessary.
"Promise," Philippe promised when Oz requested he not divulge the secret, whatever it was, which was unnecessary because Philippe was good at secrets and was easily the quietest of the three Delachene siblings, but he didn't expect Oz to know that. And while Anya was also good at secrets, she didn't come across as being good at secrets, so a little wariness was even understandable when she was the Delachene Oz probably had the most experience with, having been in her House and having been on the Quidditch team together.
The not-laughing part of the promise was a little harder to hold to when Oz did spit it out. Oz and Xavier were together. Given Philippe's previous interaction with Oz, and Xavier's outburst at the Cafe a while back . . . not exactly the biggest surprise ever.
And neither was the fact that Oz had no idea how to be a boy's boyfriend, for the same reasons.
"Okay," he said when Oz finished spilling words. "First, take a breath, and stay calm." Which Oz was already doing, so he was one step ahead of where Philippe expected him to be already. "Second, I don't want to generalize, especially since my personal experience of not-straight men is limited to me, Freddie, you, Xavier, and a handful of relatives, and I'm sure there are guys who love to get flowers, even straight guys - I will not believe you if tell me Professor Carter-Xavier did not ever give Professor Xavier flowers before they got married, or after they got married for that matter - but no, it's not a standardized go-to. I mean, for a ball, sure, you should get him a flower to pin on his lapel, that's just ball etiquette, but for a normal date or even Valentine's Day," Philippe shook his head. "It's not necessarily expected unless he's said he likes getting flowers. Heart shaped candy though, can't go wrong with that, unless he's allergic to chocolate or something." A terrible though occurred to him, and his eyes widened slightly. "I hope that's not the crap in his life." A deathly allergy to something so common and delicious and sometimes used without warning labels was not a fate he'd wish on anybody.
"But anyway, it's like with any relationship. You do what works for the two of you. I mean, me and Freddie exchanged hair dye and dice. You and Xavier have your own interests. Play to those. Do what you have fun doing." He didn't know what they liked doing, so he gave examples of dates that he and Freddie had together. "Go on picnics. Take long walks in the Gardens together. Play board games. Make out - but not on the beds because there's charms now." Philippe's face took on a slightly embarrassed, slightly guilty cast because he and Freddie would have definitely gotten dumped on the floor on many occasions if that had been instituted a couple years ago. "Just value each other and spend time together and have fun together. That's really the most important thing: to enjoy being together. . . And I totally sound like a Teppenpaw, don't I?"
OOC: OOC - it's only 'just after midterm' in the real world. In Sonora-time, it's semester one! BIC:
Philippe’s first bit of advice was to breathe. Oz shot him a look that said he would stop out of spite for that stupidity if it was an option. He did continue to breathe, but tried to stop the greedy gulping for air he’d initially been doing. He had come to Philippe for something a little more specific than the continued intake of oxygen, seeing as he’d figured that one out by himself.
And then Philippe was spilling information at him. So fast, and in so many directions it made his head hurt. He just about had time to feel the rug being jerked out from under him by one of Philippe’s statements before he was onto another completely different one, all before Oz could even verbalise his surprise. He had included Oz in the list of not straight guys he knew. That was factually accurate, it was just the first time he’d heard anyone except Xavier talk about him that was and—TWIST, Philippe had a handful of gay relatives? Oz didn’t even have a handful of relatives, not ones that they spoke to regularly anyway. And okay, mom had admitted to being like him, but the idea of just having multiple people around you who were like that—and then onto the romantic lives of their teachers. Which ew. And… well, okay, Professor Xavier was married to a woman, but like… he was a flower guy, so it was different, and also Oz didn’t really want to think about it cos it was weird—and what the heck was ‘standard ball etiquette’ and why was Philippe using that like it was a well known phrase? Eventually they landed on something that both caused Philippe to pause and Oz to have a strong enough reaction that it made it to the surface.
“What? Dude, he was literally—” he began, as Philippe joked about Xavier being allergic to chocolate, and how that would be the worst thing ever. But he cut himself off short. He’d assumed that the cafe kids knew at least something of what had happened. They were Xavier’s closest friends after him. But maybe they really did just talk about gay stuff all day long. Clearly Philippe had no idea, beyond what everyone else had had the chance to notice—namely the circles under Xavier’s eyes for a good part of second year. The fact that Xavier missed class a lot due to illness and, to put it politely, absolutely sucked at every single spell… Those were things Xavier always assumed everyone else knew, but maybe Philippe’s house and age had moved him out of the circle where that was talked about. “No, he’s not allergic to chocolate. Thank goodness,” he deadpanned, his stony face making it clear that the truth lay somewhere far south of Philippe’s suggested worst fate.
“Yeah, we noticed…” he admitted, his grin more cocky than embarrassed, when Philippe mentioned getting tipped off the beds, glad that he wasn’t being Mr. Serious Head Boy about how making out was against the rules or something. He couldn’t help but feel targetted by the rule. How many same sex, same house couples could there be? Why, after years of not worrying about it, had the school implemented it now? It made him feel like someone on staff knew. It also meant that if he and Xavier went public, other people would blame them for the existence of the rule. Having a rule made because of you could go two ways—either it was hilarious notoriety that you had annoyed the staff that much and in such a specific way that they made a rule about you, or it was resentment for the inconvenience. He was pretty sure this would go the second way.
“You always do,” he shrugged, regarding Philippe sounding like a Teppenpaw, wondering why he felt the need to comment on it. It was like someone saying Oz sounded stupid. It wasn’t noteworthy at this point, just what everyone expected. “Probably not a bad thing if I’m asking how not to hurt someone’s feelings,” he pointed out. “But all that other stuff… The doing your own thing, enjoying time together… We’ve been best friends for years. We already had all that. And then we were friends who were making out, but like… you can hook up with someone and it doesn’t make it a relationship. So, what’s supposed to change now we’re actually, properly “dating?” I mean, candy for Valentine’s day, and… do ball etiquette,” he said, frowning like he still wasn’t totally sure those were real words. “But is that it? Like… is any time we’re hanging out automatically a date because we’re boyfriends, or nothing we do is a date cos it’s what we always used to do? Especially cos I’m not going to get all hand holdy or whatever in public.” Except, that was what people did. Straight people, anyway. In movies and stuff. “If that’s supposed to be the difference, and I can’t give him that… am I a bad boyfriend?”
13Oz SpellmanStill working out how to occupy it151405
Philippe felt a little bad about making light of whatever had been going on with Xavier. Clearly, by Oz's reaction, it was pretty bad. Sure they knew each other from the cafe, and it had been pretty clear he'd been under a lot of stress, but the only blow-up Philippe had ever been witness to was the one that had almost certainly been about Oz and the awkward and not entirely painless start to their relationship.
Not being in overlapping grade levels, and living in different Houses, though, had made it difficult to determine what the rest of what might be going on was, though he'd figured it was probably academic difficulties by the occasional overheard comment. Maybe a learning disability.
They had noticed the bed rule already. That wasn't too surprising. He and Freddie would have definitely discovered it by now too - and been rudely reminded of it several times when they forgot as well - had Freddie still been around. "Sorry. I hope it wasn't me and Freddie who got that started in the bureaucracy." They hadn't exactly been secretive that they'd been dating, and he was pretty sure he'd even mentioned it to Professor Xavier a couple of times. Obviously not that they'd been making out on their beds, of course, he wasn't stupid, but that he had a date planned with Freddie in the Gardens later had seemed safe enough to share even with the Head of House, and the professor had seemed quite happy for them, so he'd been open about sharing other plans as well and even elicited his help in getting a bouquet together for Freddie's eighteenth birthday.
Oz made it sound like sounding like a Teppenpaw was one of his common failings (or virtues? there were definitely worse things to sound like), and Philippe had to wonder how often he pontificated on being kind and a good friend.
"Um," he said, not quite sure how to answer the questions about how to distinguish a date from a normal activity. He had gone from 'Anya's little brother' to 'Freddie's boyfriend' without much transition, so he'd never had that problem. Even when Anya had dated Alexander, that had been a fairly new relationship level as well for them, even though everything they'd done as dates could easily be classified as just friend activities. "I think expectations matter," he said. "If you call it a date, it's a date, even if it's just the same thing you always used to do. And you might want to ask Xavier what he expects, too, because communication is critical to avoid misunderstandings." Was that a Teppish pontification? Well, it was true, and Oz had said sounding like a Teppenpaw was helpful right now.
"And hand holding is not necessary to be a good boyfriend, if that's what you both agree upon. You can maybe try saying nice things instead? Compliment his hair, say he looks nice in those clothes. Things like that go a long way to making a person feel loved without holding hands or being given flowers, and it's probably something you didn't do so much when you were just friends."
1Philippe DelacheneYou're trying and that's a good first step.148905