Oz Spellman
February 12, 2022 4:15 PM
It's nice to be needed
by Oz Spellman
Co-written With: Xavier Lundstrom
Dang, it was gaming night, which probably meant Henry had eaten early. Oz had meant to have dinner with him, it looked like it would have to be breakfast tomorrow instead. He rolled off his bed, figuring he could pick Xav up on his way, and went to knock on his door. There was a pause, but then a voice emerged from behind the door, just preceding it being pulled open.
“Hey, I kind of need some—oh.” The face that appeared around the door was both tear-stained and surprised.
“Hey…” Oz bit back the question of whether or not Xav was okay. Clearly he wasn’t. “What did you need?” he asked, even though Xavier had cut himself off when he’d seen who it was.
“I was going to say ‘space.’ I thought maybe you were Alexei.”
“Oh. You want me to go?” Oz asked.
“Nah. You’re different.” Xav waved him inside. Oz tried to ignore the little pulse of triumph that he qualified for entry where Xav’s own roommate did not. It really wasn’t the thing to focus on when there were tears running down Xav’s face, and the other boy was pacing back into the room, closing in on himself with his arms wrapped around his stomach, sleeves pulled down over his fists. Still, it was nice to be wanted, even if that was a stupid thing to be thinking right now.
“Family stuff?” Oz guessed tentatively.
“Yeah. Well, idiots at MACUSA stuff,” Xav corrected. “This is what it’ll take for them to finally just butt out and leave us alone.” He pulled one of his hands free from his sleeves to grab a letter from the bed, his hand closing around it tightly enough to crumple it. “They’ll leave me alone, if I demonstrate grade appropriate magical acquisition or stop having migraines. What the heck am I meant to do with that? Like I wasn’t trying? I mean, what brilliant freaking suggestions! Maybe I shouldn’t be behind my class or ill all the time! If only I’d thought of that sooner!” He threw the letter back on the bed, turning his back on it with a huff, and resuming his pacing.
“That’s such a pile of crap.” Oz glared at the letter.
“Yeah, no freaking kidding.” Xav ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t… I’m doing my best, but I can’t keep up. I just can’t. That’s the whole problem. And now what… on top of that, I can’t afford to be ill! Ever!”
“Welcome to my world…” Oz muttered. He knew Xav didn’t mean it quite that literally, but it hit too hard and too direct against one of his sore spots for it not to register.
“What?” Xav asked, pausing in his pacing to stare. Oz felt that uncomfortable sensation of being a bug under a magnifying glass that he often got when his poverty came under scrutiny. It was weird… How it could be this thing he felt such a crawling sense of shame for (whilst knowing that was unreasonable) but yet couldn’t stop habitually drawing attention to, because everything he ever commented on that got him That Look from Xav was just his normal. You were supposed to hate and fear the medical system. You were supposed to live in dread of getting so sick you had to go to a doctor. You were supposed to feel stress and guilt about medical bills. That was just normal.
“We didn’t have insurance,” he said. “We literally…” couldn’t afford to get ill. He let the sentence finish itself in Xav’s head, and shrugged. “I mean, that was a pre-Sonora problem. Though I still hate going to the medic here, it just freaks me out. But this isn’t about that,” he said, trying to deflect the attention. He felt slightly mean for doing it. So, hey, back to that thing that’s making you cry? But this wasn’t supposed to be about him, and also he wasn’t really sure what to do with the massive amount of personal things he’d just revealed, other than steer very quickly away from them.
“I’m sorry—” Xav began.
“It’s fine. What are going to do about you?” he asked.
“There’s nothing we can do,” Xav said, flopping to the floor, his back against his bed where the letter rested. The few angry tears that had been falling down his face gave way to larger sobs. Oz felt his stomach clench at seeing the anger give way, like he’d knocked the fight out of him somehow. He did the only thing he could think of, and slid down to the floor next to his friend. Xav dropped his head onto Oz’s shoulder. Oz remembered Xav telling him last year that he, Oz, clearly didn’t get hugged enough. He still was not at all sure about that, but Xav clearly thought it was a solution, and it was what Oz’s mom did when he or Henry cried. Not that he’d cried in front of her for a while now. He tried not to, because it would only make her worry. He hesitantly reached up, putting an arm around Xavier’s shoulders. It was like the being wanted thing. It was stupid to think about right now, when Xav was crying, but there was something nice about the warmth of another person. Oz only really hugged his mom, and sort of Henry, but even though they’d repaired a lot over the summer it was more… Friendly shoving, or casual leaning. And he definitely didn’t hug him in public at school, which meant he didn’t really do much hugging when he didn’t have his mom. He tried to remember how real adults dealt with people crying. He was pretty sure his mom didn’t shh him. She tended to tell him to just cry it all out. He put a hand on Xav’s back, rubbing it. That was the routine. That was how you fixed it when people cried, right?
“I’ll be okay,” he said.
“How?” Xav asked. “How will it be okay? I can’t just magically get control of either of those things!”
Right. Um… Well, normally the person saying that was a legit grown up, who had… like… grown up powers. They were allowed to promise things would be okay. Oz wasn’t really sure.
“I dunno…” he admitted. “But I’ll help. If I can.”
OOC: This is a cowrite, hence the two perspectives and interaction which normally wouldn't be allowed. Cowrites are used for quick exchanges between people with established relationships.
13
Oz Spellman
It's nice to be needed
1514
1
6
Xavier Lundstrom