Hi, I'm here for a pity party (tag Prof Wright) on Charms

Xavier Lundstrom

June 21, 2021 8:11 AM

Hi, I'm here for a pity party (tag Prof Wright) by Xavier Lundstrom

OOC: As I also write a senior staff member, I have made some judgements about what academic support Xavier would be given. BIC:

Xavier’s charms lesson the previous day had been cut short by spots and squiggles swimming in his vision. He had asked to be excused, and had spent the rest of the day feeling like his head was trying to fracture and explode across the room in several different directions. It was the second time since Midterm. That meant the number of migraines he’d had in each part of the school year was equal to the number he usually had in a whole year. And they weren’t even done for summer yet…

On top of the unpleasantness of the illness itself, it also meant he had to try to catch up on what he’d missed in class. He was barely keeping up even when he was in class, so he was pretty sure he couldn’t afford to skip and just hope it came together later. Joel’s suggestion that this was all a mistake and they could send him home wasn’t going to happen. He had magic. He could feel it. It wasn’t like he got no results. He was just perpetually struggling along at least one step behind the rest of the class – when they had been expected to get inconsistent results, he’d got none. Now they were steadying out and getting something to happen most of the time, he was starting to get something sometimes. It had been painfully underscored in the recent DADA lesson, where his classmates should have been able to tell which of the three spark spells he was casting based on his outcome, and he supposed the wand movement too. He had wondered how many times he could cast the basic version in a row and have his partner assume it was a double bluff designed to catch them out. There hadn’t been any difference in the number of sparks he’d produced on any of the occasions.

He made a fair bit of use of teachers’ office hours. This was currently ‘advised’ but he was aware it could be cranked up to ‘mandatory’ if he kept failing to perform. He was pretty sure he was meant to make up when he’d been sick too, and he only hoped that evoked a more sympathetic response than when he came by for extra help purely from being useless at his classes. Not that any of his teachers seemed mad at him, but he was pretty sure they had to be unimpressed. Did they think he was stupid, or just that he wasn’t trying? Which would be worse, given that he wasn’t either? He wasn’t used to being a problem student.

He gave a resigned sigh and knocked on Professor Wright’s door.

“Hi. I’m guessing I need to practice whatever I missed?” he asked, phrasing it like the issue here was having been ill. For this one time, it was, even if he felt like it probably wouldn’t have made any difference to his ability had he actually been well enough to be in class.

13 Xavier Lundstrom Hi, I'm here for a pity party (tag Prof Wright) 1529 1 5

Grayson Wright

June 21, 2021 9:35 PM

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. by Grayson Wright

Xavier Lundstrom was not precisely a case like Evelyn had been. His results didn’t swing back and forth; he seemed to be progressing as steadily as any child did, just at a slower rate than average. Gray had been keeping an eye on him anyway, though, and once the news of Mrs. Lundstrom’s letter had reached the staff, he had thought it was safe to conclude that his odd, unanticipated role as the One Who Dealt With Magic Problems Despite Being Entirely Self-Taught In That Area was not going to end with Evelyn’s departure from Sonora. So far, he had not been asked nor Xavier apparently required to establish a regular schedule for that sort of thing, but he would be rather surprised if that didn’t occur at some point. For now, it was office hours as especially necessary, generally focusing on a lesson, but he had started thinking ahead, if not in a particularly organized fashion.

“Yes,” he agreed when Xavier said that he probably needed to practice what he had missed in class. “We were practicing the…Mending Charm, I believe it was.” He suspected some students might have mastered that one quickly simply because that meant they could engage in the sheer joy of destruction in order to practice again sooner, but after nine years, he was no longer as easily fazed by that kind of thing as he had been in his first year or so.

“If you don’t mind, though, I’d like to ask you a few questions – the first of which is, of course, if you’re feeling better,” he said solicitously. “I hope nothing in class contributed to it?” He didn’t know how much he could necessarily do if it had, just given the nature of the class, but then, he didn’t know enough about migraines to know for sure either way. “The second one is about how you’re doing in Charms. Do you have any thoughts about your performance in Charms overall? Any general questions or concerns, beyond individual spells? You’ve been making progress, which I’m glad to see, but I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.”

16 Grayson Wright Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. 113 0 5

Xavier Lundstrom

June 22, 2021 4:48 AM

But I don't know what that is by Xavier Lundstrom

“Okay,” Xavier nodded, pulling his book out. He was pretty sure Professor Wright could tell him the Charm faster than he could look it up, but being able to find something in an index was one skill that hadn’t radically shifted when he was tipped into this world. So far, wizards seemed content to let the alphabet run in the same order, even though it wouldn’t have put it past them just to change it, or change it on Tuesdays or something, just for laughs.

Before he could get started on the work he’d missed though, Professor Wright had questions. He paused in scanning the index. Again, looking bright and attentive, being broadly visually pleasing and within adult-defined perimeters of ‘well-behaved’ were things he’d almost always had on his side. He could be a bit cheeky, for a given, very quiet and middle-class value of the word, and given the way some of the other Pecaris spoke and racketed, he suspected his occasional boisterousness was considered as nothing. He was also doing his best not to let it out.

What’s wrong with you?

They weren’t the exact words Professor Wright used, but they were what he wanted to know. Why wasn’t Xavier making progress? He managed to keep his face bland and polite, even though the question frustrated him somewhat. He didn’t know. Maybe he just sucked.

“Yes, I’m feeling better, thank you.” He answered the easy question first. His migraine was gone, and that was what Professor Wright was asking. Physically, he was no longer showing symptoms of his recurring and melodramatic illness. So, he felt ‘better.’ “No one’s ever been able to pinpoint what causes them.” Technically, that meant he couldn’t let Professor Wright’s class in its entirety off the hook, but the way he shrugged this remark off suggested he wasn’t going to hold it accountable.

“It’s kind of… in the middle?” he suggested of his performance in Charms. “I mean, compared to my other subjects. Compared to my classmates, I know I’m not…” He trailed off, staring at the desk. However true he knew it was, it was different to say it out loud. “Everyone says Transfiguration’s the hardest, so that’s going worst,” he admitted, his throat full of gravel at discussing his failings. “Defence… It’s kind of the same as how I do in Charms, but sometimes I guess adrenaline or whatever kicks in, and that seems to help? When someone’s actually practicing on me, I can protect myself a bit better than when it’s just a drill.”

Most of that had been about other subjects, not exactly Charms, and he looked back up, scanning Professor Wright’s face for signs he had said what he was supposed to.

As for questions he had… Why did he suck so bad? Was he always going to suck so bad? Why him? Was he the only one? What if he didn’t improve? But he held those back for now.

13 Xavier Lundstrom But I don't know what that is 1529 0 5

Grayson Wright

June 22, 2021 9:03 PM

First, a pity party. Then, perhaps, we can come up with more ideas? by Grayson Wright

He was not entirely sure it was polite, strictly speaking, but as Xavier began to talk about and compare his classes generally, Gray (hopefully reasonably discreetly) picked up a small pencil and jotted down a few words. He didn't want to forget a point due to the twists and turns a conversation could take if one occurred at all, and he suspected that there was important information here. There was also the smaller matter that he'd always found it easier to think on paper, even if it was in rapidly-improvised shorthand or occasionally childishly bad drawings (he wouldn't dignify them with the name sketches). He could tell himself all he wanted to about how one person wasn't going to be like another, and there were for instance people in the world who actively disliked reading and writing; deep down, it simply made sense to him that people would get along with each other a lot more if they all carried little notebooks and it was considered socially acceptable to jot notes during any given conversation.

Comparison - Tf say hard - Def - same C but

Completely meaningless out of context, but it would do as a jar to his memory if he got lost in the thickets of the spoken word, which could grow very dense very fast and which had no immediately practical way to leave oneself breadcrumbs to follow back through. He nodded as Xavier concluded his analysis of his own performance.

"Yes," he said. "Most people do find having a wand pointed at them makes defensive spells a little easier - even if it's only in class, and not a situation where you're under any real stress. Ties back to how we experience our powers as children - accidental magic and such." A thought flickered to life; he hastily underlined 'but' and circled 'hard'.

It got easier and easier to ignore it as one got older and it became second nature, and of course as one's powers simply developed, but there were, essentially, two headspaces that worked well for spellcasting. One was a state of perfect composure, one's mind a calm, orderly void except for the point one was concentrating on. The other was in a state of heightened emotion. Emotion was easier to get sharper results from, but harder to control...and it could backfire. Horribly, in some cases, based on things he had read about when he'd first started working with Evelyn...magic wouldn't lay dormant forever, of course. Sooner or later, someone who refused to try to do magic consciously would lose their sanity - occasionally literally explode - that sort of thing. But it was possible for people in extreme states of unhappiness to lose their powers, or at least see them significantly reduced; the things he'd read in books were mostly about extreme cases, involving extreme loss...but in a way, the boy had had an extreme loss, hadn't he? Gray recalled the matches discussion with Oz Spellman last year; it underlined how utterly out of his depth he would be if he suddenly were introduced to a Muggle school and had to learn to live in it and that world generally. Perhaps it wouldn't register the same way as a sudden death or betrayal would, perhaps he wouldn't lose the will to live or come close to it - perhaps he'd even be somewhat excited by the novelty, at least given a month or two's notice, as students were - but it would...not be pleasant, anyway....

He decided to save that thought for later. "So. Having a direct stimulus - something that seems more...real, let's say, than just practicing in the air, might be something that helps you. The Mending Charm may be one you do well with, then. I know a lot of Beginner work can seem terribly impractical - just work for work's sake. Would you consider starting a sort of - spell journal? Nothing any more elaborate than you want it to be, just notes along the lines of what spells you attempted that day, how they went, and what the circumstances were? You - and we, the staff, if you choose to share it with us - might be able to find patterns that could be useful."

"Another question - do you remember much about your experiences with accidental magic growing up?

16 Grayson Wright First, a pity party. Then, perhaps, we can come up with more ideas? 113 0 5

Xavier Lundstrom

June 23, 2021 3:46 AM

Poor me :( :( :( by Xavier Lundstrom

Professor Wright was taking notes on him. It was that kind of conversation then, and Xavier was glad he’d swallowed his self-pitying questions. They were supposed to be being serious, trying to get to the bottom of this. He was an incident that needed investigating. He had not come up with any possible answer that he wanted to be true… Was he mediocre? Ill? The best he could hope was a late bloomer, but no one so far had told him ‘Don’t worry, you’re sure to catch up.’ There had been remarks which came close to it. ‘Some people have a shaky start and then go on to do just as well as anyone else.’ Some people. That wasn’t everyone. That left space for a few who crashed and burnt, never achieving out of the bottom ranks.

Most people did better in high pressure situations. So, he wasn’t unique there, just not additionally defective.

“Yes sir,” he nodded with the plan to keep a spell journal. He’d journaled his medical symptoms for a while, trying to jot down all the things that happened immediately before a migraine. What he’d eaten. How much sleep he’d gotten. What he’d been doing. Was it exhaustion? Too much running around? Too much screen time? Legumes? There was no answer though. The one pattern he’d been able to concoct was that it kept disrupting fun. Admittedly, an overnight thunderstorm which flooded the tents at Scout Camp didn’t sound fun. At first, when he’d shown up a day late due to being ill, he thought he’d dodged a bullet. Until he realized it was the defining thing, the incident everyone kept coming back to. Everyone had a story about that night but him. Or rather, his was one of lying at home, trying to block out the world around him.

“I’m not sure,” he answered Professor Wright’s other question. The accurate answer was ‘no’ but he wasn’t sure anyone wanted to hear that. “I don’t remember anything really remarkable.” The Muggleborn liaison officer had probed his past for such details, and the best they’d been able to come up with had been ambiguous incidents, which could have just been luck or the foibles of memory – landing a trick on his blades that the older kids couldn’t, or finding cookies within easy reach, in a place they weren’t usually kept. At the time, he hadn’t thought it odd that he hadn’t had any big, bold displays. He had trusted the system, and the system had said he was a wizard. He’d found a wand that worked in his hand. Though that had taken an awfully long time… “Is it unusual? Not to be able to pick out anything really obvious?” he asked, clearly worried.

13 Xavier Lundstrom Poor me :( :( :( 1529 0 5

Grayson Wright

June 23, 2021 4:32 PM

I do sympathize. by Grayson Wright

“No,” said Gray when asked about what was normal as far as subtle or limited shows of accidental magic. He felt a stab of sympathy, seeing the clear worry, and wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it; hopefully his best guess would be close enough to the mark. “Everyone’s magical development is different – for some, they may express magic before they can express complete thoughts, while others may not perform any obvious magic until they’re much older. A very few may learn a limited degree of conscious control over their powers before school, but others, for whatever reasons, may struggle to gain control at all, even after entering school and getting a wand….”

He realized he was possibly rambling more than he was explaining useful information that might give Xavier insight or at least make the boy feel better. “Sorry. Magical development’s something I did some reading on a few years ago. The point is – no, it’s not usual or unusual to have limited experience with accidental magic. It’s also not indicative of how you’ll do later on, as a rule. I’m told my extended family was concerned I might not be a wizard at one time, and I think I ended up fairly magically competent.” His case was perhaps a bit different, given that his mother was a Squib and her status was not well understood; it was also relatively uncommon for Squibs to marry wizards. Most, he’d gathered, either remained single or married Muggles. He didn’t think his own very uninteresting early life had anything to do with that, though – that it had been far more that he had, from the time he could remember, been more inclined to entertain himself making up stories in his head than doing actual things, things that could prompt a response that turned outward. “I only asked to see if there were any patterns,” he explained.

“You said a few interesting things a moment ago – and a bit concerning. You directly linked trouble with Transfiguration to its reputation, and compared yourself to the others overall – I suppose this is going to sound like just one of those things adults say,” he acknowledged, “but as long as you’re trying, you’re doing well, and I can see in class that you do try. Also try to focus more on that than on what the others are doing – everyone learns at his own pace, and trying to push yourself harder than you can go might give short-term results, but not lasting ones. Just keep at it.”

As far as encouraging talks went, that one was what he thought the kids would refer to as ‘lame.’ Well, he’d never been cut out to be a motivational speaker. As long as it didn’t make Xavier worry more and turn that inward and spiral further, though, he’d call it breaking even at worst…’as long as’ being the key words, and not key words he much cared for…Evelyn had come along well, particularly given a mentor who’d been learning about the problem as he went along, but that was no reason to actually assume he could be helpful to students with these sorts of problems in general. Though it also wasn’t a reason to assume otherwise, he supposed, and he wanted to be helpful if he could…. He tried to stop thinking, as it wasn’t currently very helpful to do so.

“So. Mending. The incantation is reparo, and to work it, you move your wand as if you were writing a backward capital G, made mostly of straight lines – “ he demonstrated with his pencil, making a short horizontal motion to the left, then another, longer one downward, and a short one upward before, at the very end, it curved inward before it could reach the starting point again – “while your wand is pointed at what you want to repair – there’s a good image of it in the book, if you find that easier to follow. As for that – “ he picked up a sheet of yesterday’s newspaper and tore it in half, then tore one of those halves in half, too, before offering those fourths to Xavier. “That will do. Give it a try,” he suggested. “When you’re ready, and feel you have the wand movement down, and then we’ll discuss how it went after that. Try not to worry about it working or not working, as far as you can - just do your best."

16 Grayson Wright I do sympathize. 113 0 5

Xavier Lundstrom

June 24, 2021 4:41 AM

Thanks by Xavier Lundstrom

Everyone’s different. The speech was well worn, and did very little to comfort Xavier, until the part where Professor Wright got to himself.

“Really?” he asked, sitting up a little straighter. He couldn’t exactly say that growing up to be just like Professor Wright was high on his list of wishes—he certainly hoped his adult self was better looking and more charismatic, preferably doing something a little cooler than teaching high school. But, magic-wise, in that sole element of his life and status as ‘actual grown-up,’ Professor Wright clearly wasn’t a bad benchmark to reach for. Even if he could not remember clear incidents of childhood magic, he could turn out alright. He didn’t ask whether Professor Wright had sucked as badly as he did in first year.

Xavier’s face didn’t shift from polite or attentive, even if he found the rest of the speech without much merit. If there was no such thing as ‘your best not being good enough’ then there wouldn’t be such a thing as a failing grade. But there was. And he was solidly on track to receive them, probably in every subject that involved holding a wand.

Then they were into the practical. Professor Wright was ripping up a piece of paper and telling him to unrip it. Xavier tried to push aside the thought that sounded impossible or sacrilegious. Magic was real, and was who he was. Like the strange little marching beans he’d seen in Herbology, he was part of a plan that was always bigger and more mind-blowing that he could possibly imagine.

He practiced the wand movement a couple of times. ‘Like a backwards capital g but square’ was pretty ridiculous as descriptions of a shape went, but he pictured the diagram, and did his best to trace his wand through it. He had always been the best of his siblings at writing his name in the air with a sparkler on the 4th of July, even if each of them would have hotly contested that point. He guessed he probably wasn’t going to get out of being stared at whilst doing this, given that the whole point was helping and analysing him, though he did his best to keep his own eyes off Professor Wright and pretend like this was no big deal.

Easier said than done.

It wasn’t like it was his first time performing under the gaze of one of his teachers, just relaxing and leaning into whatever force he was feeling was as hard to do as just believing in yourself, especially when someone else was watching. He tried to think of it like skating. All the stuff they said, none of it ever really explained how magic worked, it was more like just feeling it in your body. And that was vague, but he knew it from all the times he’d fallen off a rail or splatted himself down a ramp. People could adjust your posture, give you tips, tell you how to shift your weight. But in the end, it was down to you to feel the movement, to understand where you balanced and to get it right.

“Reparo,” he cast, feeling like he always did, the magic like a force that awoke somewhere in his middle and flowed down his arm into his wand. Usually, it got there to varying degrees. Sometimes it stuck never rising further than his chest. Sometimes it felt like it got down to the tips of his fingers but couldn’t cross the divide, however hard the wood of his wand was pressed into his hand.

This time, was one of the rare times where he felt the warmth keep going, and the surprise of it, the realization that this was one of the few times he’d got his balance, was enough to throw him off and he fumbled.

Still, he stared down at the pieces of paper, half joined by a bulging, ugly seam.

“I did it!” he exclaimed. Okay, the task was perhaps not complete and far from perfect, but he had never got a result on his first try. “I was doing it. That doesn’t happen?” His triumph mixed with confusion as he looked up at Professor Wright. This wasn’t how it went, so what did this mean? Had it just been a slow start, and it was over now? Or was this the anomaly?

13 Xavier Lundstrom Thanks 1529 0 5

Grayson Wright

June 27, 2021 10:09 PM

Now to the solutions I guess. by Grayson Wright

Gray nodded confirmation, though 'really' was often a purely rhetorical question.

"Really," he affirmed. "And my family and I had the advantage of knowing magic existed beforehand, and what sorts of things to look out for, which it's my understanding that you didn't? Short of physical danger, accidental magic usually occurs when you want something, more than anything in the world, however small that might seem by adult standards - and I wasn't the sort to pay that much attention to things." He had spent a great deal of time reading as a child, but probably far more daydreaming, more or less, absorbed with whatever he was thinking about, largely oblivious to his surroundings. Nor had it much mattered to him that the things he made up in his head had no physical reality, so that had ruled inadvertent conjuring out. "Which also created problems for me at school," he admitted. "I'd think of something else while I was trying to practice, and, well - " he shrugged. "There went any sense of flow, any translation of my thoughts to the world. It took a while to learn to keep focused on the task."

That could, he knew, be a problem for a lot of Beginners, probably Pecaris more, if anything, than others. It was probably for the best, really, that children both generally lacked access to their full magical power and the focus to use it effectively. There was the odd prodigy or two, of course, but cases where magical precocity dramatically outstripped maturity and attention span were very rare. He could imagine no good outcomes from a situation where it became more common. Teenagers weren't as dangerous as he had feared they would be when he'd started this job, but he was still glad they were usually limited in the amount of sheer destruction they could wreak.

He settled into a neutral expression as Xavier began trying to work....and succeeded. Partially, at least, but it was a much stronger beginning than Xavier usually made on any given charm. His eyebrows lifted in surprise and he smiled as Xavier, too, registered this.

"And yet, it happened," he said. "You were doing it. Well done! That's a good start." Now, of course, came the process of probably doing it wrong again, and again, and then learning to do it right, then sliding back, then fighting through to doing it right again...Which was likely to be as frustrating as outright failure, now and then, if not worse, at least for a while. Still, it was a beginning. "Can you note anything different from usual about what you were doing? What you were thinking, or not thinking, or how you had your wand? If you can identify something, it might make it more likely you can repeat it, and start succeeding more regularly."

16 Grayson Wright Now to the solutions I guess. 113 0 5

Xavier Lundstrom

June 28, 2021 10:55 AM

Yeah, what are they? by Xavier Lundstrom

Professor Wright had been a daydreamer? The man so mundane that he looked more out of place when he tried to look wizardy than if he’d just dressed like an accountant? It was hard to imagine him staring off into space during class. For someone who had had a low value of being able to concentrate, he really didn’t seem to pay much heed to what might cause students to zone out. Xavier would solidly have assumed he was joking but that would have gone entirely against his impression of him too. So, he guessed he’d changed a fair bit. Still, it was encouraging to hear him say he’d really not been a very magical kid, even when they knew what they were looking out for. He nodded.

Xavier had made a good start. He noticed the use of the word, which implied a long journey still ahead. Not that he’d been expecting it to be any different, but it was a daunting reminder.

“I was thinking about skating,” he answered honestly. He wanted them to get to the bottom of this, so anything that might help was worth doing, and it wasn’t like he had been thinking of anything that it embarrassed him to admit out loud. He wasn’t sure many things qualified for that list. He checked for signs of confusion, but even Alexei had been familiar with the ice variety, and he figured it wouldn’t hurt to let Professor Wright think that, as they were similar enough for the purposes of this conversation. It was kind of a hassle to explain stuff all the time. “I like skating, I did it a lot with my brother, and I’m pretty good at it. I was kind of comparing magic to skating inside my head. Like, how people can give you tips, and tell you what you should be doing, but you just have to find what feels right inside your own body yourself. That’s not something someone else can tell you.”

He listened to whatever advice Professor Wright had in order to build on that, but he suspected talking about magic was only so useful. After all, he’d been paying careful attention in class so far, and it really hadn’t helped. Practically since day one, they’d been encouraging them to wave their wands. Whilst the theory helped, there was a steep learning by doing curve, and one that he was still substantially behind on.

He leant back into the skating feeling, picturing himself at the top of the ramp, and dropped into the spell.

“Reparo.” The papers didn’t react. He nudged them, to make sure, wondering if they were slightly stuck, just more delicately and less obviously before. They moved apart with all the ease of two items that had remained entirely separate. Visibly, he deflated. Though he tried not to, tried to hold on to where he’d been a minute ago. If he had done it once, he could do it again.

“Reparo! Re-” His word was cut off by a sharp gasp, and his wand clattered to the floor. He threw his hands up instinctively to block the light as pain split across his skull and- And he lowered his arm, because there was no light sensitivity, and just as fast as it had come, the pain had gone again.

“I..I’m fine.” He tried to reassure himself as much as Professor Wright, as he leant down to collect his fallen wand.

13 Xavier Lundstrom Yeah, what are they? 1529 0 5

Grayson Wright

June 28, 2021 8:54 PM

Or we could just spot another potential problem! by Grayson Wright

Like Alexei Vorontsov before him, Gray's mental picture associated with the word 'skating' involved ice. It did not, however, occur to him to question it or ask for confirmation that ice was involved. Instead, he nodded thoughtfully.

"That's not a bad description," he said. "A sort of - internal balance is very helpful." Not least because both the sport and the spellcasting came along with their shares of danger. "One popular way to think of it is imagining that you are pouring water from an open jar and through a funnel - you are the jar, more or less, the water is magic, and the funnel is your wand and feeds into the finished product." It wasn't a perfect analogy, but it would do. "If you tip your hand too far, then too much water will spill out of the top of the jar and you'll have a mess on your hands. If your hand is unsteady, or you're too timid in how you handle it, then the water will only leave the jar or reach the funnel in irregular splashes. A steady hand and a calculated angle - that's what you're looking for."

This wisdom imparted, he permitted Xavier to resume practice - at which point things abruptly went entirely wrong.

"What was that?" he asked, a touch sharply, as Xavier fumbled for his dropped wand, ignoring the claim the boy made about being fine. Something had happened; he had appeared to be in pain. There were spells that could harm the user backfiring, but - there had been no obvious signs, that he'd seen, of a backfire there. Usually, if something didn't just explode, backfiring resulted in the spell simply doing to the caster what it had meant to do to the target, but he highly doubted that was what had just happened. Technically, the Mending Charm could work on a living being - but only very poorly, resulting as a rule in massive scarring. In the case, that was, that the spell was cast on an open wound. It occurred to him that he had no idea whatsoever what would happen if it hit a living being which lacked one.

He realized, though, almost as quickly, that he might have sounded accusatory, and tried to walk that back, though he still looked alarmed. "Er - I'm sorry I snapped at you," he apologized. "What just happened there?"

16 Grayson Wright Or we could just spot another potential problem! 113 0 5

Xavier Lundstrom

June 28, 2021 9:38 PM

I liked the 'solutions' idea better by Xavier Lundstrom

OOC: Fact checked with Professor Wright as needed BIC:

The water pouring analogy was good. Not as cool as the skating one but probably a bit more widely applicable, and it was also something Xavier could relate to.

“Yeah. It’s a bit like that. A bit like the second one except… I don’t feel like I’m being timid or anything. It’s more like I’m tipping it as far as I can and it’s never enough. Like, I can feel it sometimes, right down in my fingertips, and then it’s like it just stops – like there’s a blockage stopping it getting from my hand to my wand.” It kind of felt like being magically constipated, but that was not an analogy he was going to use out loud with a teacher, or something he really wanted said about him. He’d stick with the water analogy for this one. It was like there was water, but there was also a plug.

When he dropped his wand, Professor Wright raised his voice. It wasn’t impossible. It wasn’t like he’d never heard that happen, when someone was messing about enough for it to be dangerous. Usually the second year Pecaris were the recipients. Did he think Xavier was messing about? However, Professor Wright quickly retracted his tone with an apology, and Xavier realized… He had scared him. That answered his question of whether this kind of thing happened much. If it did, it wasn’t anything good. But mostly, the Professor seemed confused. Confused and frightened.

“I got a pain like when I get a migraine. Except there were no warning signs, and it’s gone now.” He thought Professor Wright had sent him out of class enough times, and been thoroughly appraised enough of the reasons why he would need to, that he didn’t need to explain that neither of those things usually happened. Xavier can usually tell when he has a migraine coming on. Please believe and excuse him, even if he does not seem ‘sick’ at that point – within an hour, he will be in considerable pain, unable to move, hypersensitive to light and touch and possibly vomiting. The letter his mom had sent might have sounded dramatic, but he knew she wanted to make sure teachers understood and took the problem seriously.

His mouth moved, half forming questions. ‘What just happened?’ and ‘Why did that happen?’ and ‘What’s wrong with me?’ hovered in the edge of his brain. But Professor Wright wasn’t a doctor. Xavier wasn’t sure whether he doubted the Professor’s ability to answer it, or whether he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. Or whether he just didn’t know which of those he was even asking. He got as far as ‘Wh…’ several times but just gave up before it formed into a concrete question.

13 Xavier Lundstrom I liked the 'solutions' idea better 1529 0 5

Grayson Wright

June 29, 2021 10:09 PM

LIkewise, hopefully we can get back to that soon. by Grayson Wright

Interesting, Gray thought, but did not say aloud, as Xavier described what using magic - or rather, failing to use magic - felt like for him. So Xavier was one of those who was at least sensitive to the resonances of magic, felt something there; that was probably good, on the whole, for all that Gray didn't think he could properly relate. He could do things like read traces, or identify an area with more magic in the air than another, but it wasn't a skill that came particularly naturally to him and he couldn't derive much information by pure touch, or with incantations without using his wand. Using his wand, after thirty-odd years, was very similar to using his glasses for him: he didn't really notice they were there unless they weren't, unless the circumstances were atypical or he made a conscious effort to notice.

"From what I know about wandlore," he said carefully, "which isn't a lot, it's possible that part of your issue could be bonding with your wand. Professor Xavier might be able to tell you more about specific wand woods, and Professor Marsh more about core sources, but it's my understanding that some wands are more...difficult, for lack of a better term, to master than others, or may need to go through certain events with their owners before they fully cooperate with them. Which I know probably sounds odd," he acknowledged. "Specialists really do talk about wands as though they were a little bit alive, and think for themselves to some degree. It sounds a bit peculiar to those of us who aren't specialists and have less fractious wands, too, even with a magical background. It might be worth looking into, though, with Professor Xavier and Professor Marsh, though I'll look through some of those...." He waved vaguely to the shelves of books behind him. He had always owned a lot of books, but acquiring them had only become a borderline problematic habit since he'd started working here and now had multiple rooms to stash them in, including his classroom. He wasn't sure there was actually anything in the classroom hoard that would be helpful when it came to wand-handling, but there was probably something somewhere, and if there was not, well, there was always the library....

"In the meantime, the more practice, the better, for learning to feel it's natural for your wand to be in your hand." Particularly if he was one who'd been chosen by a wand which would prove better suited to his adult height than his present one; that happened, from time to time, and could make handling a little awkward in the early years.

A migraine-like pain, but without migraine symptoms, and it was gone in a flash. Could a bungled spell do that? Surely not. Surely the boy had just not somehow done - something - with a neurological condition, for better or for worse. Accidental magic could be quite powerful - accidental apparition wasn't even terribly uncommon, he'd gathered, and while accidental healing magic was rarer, it wasn't unheard of - but self-Healing was a different matter entirely; he didn't know if that was possible at all, much less with something as delicate as the brain. Plus, it was tricky business, curing inborn imperfections of the body; some work with bones could be done in some cases, but while a skilled Healer could probably return his eyes to the state they were in now if he somehow foolishly walked into a tree with very inconveniently placed stabby branches, he'd probably still need his glasses afterward, at least as far as he understood things. He was no Healer, but....

"I'm not sure," he said, deciding this was probably a good answer to whatever question Xavier was trying to stumble through. "I was worried the charm might have backfired - that one's not meant to be used on living things, and I'm not sure how it would have affected you..." His brow furrowed further as he thought about the stammering again. Xavier had been speaking perfectly fluently immediately before that, but.... "You said you can sense magic, when you're trying to work with it," he noted. "Did you notice anything before you dropped your wand? Anything now?"

16 Grayson Wright LIkewise, hopefully we can get back to that soon. 113 0 5

Xavier Lundstrom

June 30, 2021 10:50 AM

I'm ready when you are by Xavier Lundstrom

Xavier had heard the odd way people talked about wands sometimes, though it had more been a background chatter than something that had ever been directed at him.

“It’s from a linden tree. I think,” he added. It was probably terribly bad of him not to know this for certain, and he wondered whether the stick in his hand felt neglected or slighted that he hadn’t gotten to know it better. It sounded weird when he thought like that, but if what Professor Wright was saying was true, it might be a good explanation. “I tried a lot out before I found one that worked,” he admitted. It wasn’t his favourite fact about himself, and at the time he’d felt anxious and self-conscious, like maybe it was a mistake that he was there, but it seemed like it might be helpful for Professor Wright to know that. And in the end, this one had chosen him, when none of the others had. He had been pleased, and excited, and he loved it—for its pretty colour and the fact it wanted him, but he hadn’t exactly gotten to know it. He stopped short of apologizing out loud to it in front of Professor Wright, but his hand stroked it in a loving and vaguely apologetic way. Had he brought all this on himself? “I’ll look into it more,” he promised.

He tried to replay the moment as Professor Wright asked him to analyse it. But he had made three tries in quick succession. He hadn’t been expecting to need to notice anything. He had a lot of years practice at listening to his body, and trying to explain it to other people. More, he suspected, than Professor Wright did, inspite of the number of years of head start he had. He had often been asked to reflect, explain, describe… At first, if he hadn’t been able to, he would guess, or answer their follow up questions—which usually reduced it to choices—with whatever sounded closest, or whatever he thought their faces said they wanted him to choose. But when that resulted in a path that hit a dead end, it felt like his fault for getting the questions wrong. Of course, it could feel that way too when he was forced to give no information—when he really did not know. If he could just try harder, would they be able to find the answer?

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “It happened fast. I didn’t really notice.” And was there anything now? He searched his body for signs or symptoms or feelings of magic. “I feel normal,” he stated cautiously. It was always scary to admit that. If you said nothing was wrong, then no one offered you help. If nothing was wrong with him, then what the heck was wrong with him? “You think I accidentally fired a mending spell back at myself?” he clarified.

13 Xavier Lundstrom I'm ready when you are 1529 0 5

Grayson Wright

July 01, 2021 11:24 AM

...Well...we'll give it a try. by Grayson Wright

Linden. That was an unusual wand wood, he thought; the first thing that came to mind when he thought of lindens was how their various components were used in some basic potions, particularly for inflammation and...headaches. Huh. Interesting.

"Yes - you might find it interesting if nothing else," he said when Xavier said he would take the advice to look further into his wand's components. "It just occurred to me - linden wood and flowers and leaves have wide applications in potions. I don't know enough about different species of linden to say much about your wand specifically, but I know there are linden derivatives used in some headache-related potions, which might make it significant that that wand chose you. It is an unusual wand wood." He hoped that didn't get the boy's hopes up enough for it to be crushing for him if there was no significance, or at least not any that helped with his condition... "Beyond that, though, it's no shame to take a while to be matched, I'm told. Some consider it a bit of a status symbol, actually - a sign of singular character or special gifts you'd need a highly specific wand to fully unlock." There were not a lot of 'norms' in wandlore, at least as far as a non-wandmaker knew, but when there was an anomaly, it seemed it was often for a reason. He made a note to keep this in mind going forward with Xavier.

"Plus, we - other people generally - don't know much about how wandmakers decide how many of different wand types to make, or how often any given wood is paired with a given core - some of the wandmakers might not even know themselves, since shops are often handed down and some wands may have been made before the current proprietor took over. The wandmakers keep their secrets, so you'd have to apprentice yourself to one after school to learn all about it, but there are units that will touch on wandlore in your classes over the years, and some books you could read if you're interested in the subject," he offered, feeling this was the only gracious way to finish offering only limited insight into an interesting topic.

After the mishap, he relaxed again - slightly - after Xavier resumed fluent speech, and then shook his head. "I was worried that that might have happened," he corrected him. "I supposed since you were in the middle of an incantation when it happened, I jumped to one of the worse-case scenarios - if you try to use the Mending Charm on a wound on a living creature, you see, it'll end in severe scarring, but I have no idea what would happen if it backfired onto someone like that...You don't seem damaged at all, though, so I doubt that's what happened." He shook his head slightly. "You were rushing those last few times you tried the charm," he noted, still disturbed by the incident but unsure what to do about it right now. Should he send Xavier over to Katy after this? "If you feel up to doing any more work, do it slowly. Deliberately, each time. No rushing. With practice, you may learn to cast charms quickly, but you're not there yet," he cautioned.

16 Grayson Wright ...Well...we'll give it a try. 113 0 5