So.... talking about girls? on Alumni

Jean Wolfe

March 11, 2021 8:07 PM

So.... talking about girls? by Jean Wolfe

It was just him and Killian. Jean-Loup had settled for bringing him back to campus. He had already shown him, Bonabelle and Ema around , as part of their official ‘Look at the ways in which my life does not suck’ tour, but campus was a comfortable place for him. It was nice, and had big green open spaces, and very affordable coffee. Plus he didn’t have to worry about being openly magical. His friend circle had significantly broadened his horizons, and it wasn’t like he never ventured into the non-magical parts of the city, but he still felt a certain vulnerability in them – he was so used to using his wand, and to that being a part of himself he never had to hide that he was worried he’d just forget, or even if he didn’t, that he just couldn’t blend in.

Killian had explained where the girls were, and Jean-Loup had nodded, and stated that Ema seemed nice. He was not sure how much of an opinion he was supposed to venture on her – whether it was rude to pass comment (lest it seem arrogant that he should consider his opinion on it to matter) or to not pass comment (lest it seem like he didn’t care about her existence). She was odd. He had gotten to know a lot more odd people in the last year, so he wasn’t quite so alarmed by her hair and general demeanour as he once would have been, but he was not sure he considered them particularly attractive. He was incredibly aware that he had precisely zero expertise in what made women attractive though. She seemed kind, and Killian seemed like he was happy, and those were important.

For the most part, the trip was passing pleasantly. He was sometimes a little hesitant – sometimes, he lapsed easily back into the energy he had left Sonora with, and was happy, bouncy, and relaxed in the company of people who knew him well. But sometimes, other things would creep up and catch him out – that there was a new person in the dynamic, or a new situation, or that he just had a sudden wave of doubt or sadness that made his confidence unravel. He was used to feeling terrible on the inside whilst putting a brave mask on, though he found it was getting harder and harder to slide back into being that fake person who pretended to be okay when they weren’t. He thought that might be progress of a sort, but it seemed strange to celebrate being more obviously nervous or uncomfortable.

Today was bringing some of those feelings out again. On the one hand, he and Killian should have been the most comfortable dynamic there was. It was the one he was most used to, and he didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing and being a bad-role model to Bonabelle or letting her down. He could relax, and just… be himself. Himself was still kind of a mess sometimes though. He knew Killian accepted that, he was just acutely aware that the last time they’d really spent one on one time had involved him sobbing his eyes out on Killian’s shoulder. The point of that had been to get it out of the way before summer but that had been so that they could have a nice time all together. Now that they weren’t all together, did that mean it was back on the agenda, or was it done and gone and today was just supposed to be nice?

They were currently sitting in the campus coffee shop, waiting for their drinks to be ready. Jean-Loup realised he was twirling the little metal stick with their order number between his fingers and made a conscious effort to stop. Deciding to go to campus, and go get a coffee and making small talk about the morning had covered the distance and the time so far. Now he felt like he had to actually think of things to say, and he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to talk about.

“Ema seems nice,” he stated, and then remembered he had said that already. “I am supposed to now get many informations from you, or I am supposed to find a time to sneaky talk to her whether she is good to you?” he joked.

13 Jean Wolfe So.... talking about girls? 1506 1 5

Killian Row

March 20, 2021 11:49 AM

Just the one, yeah? by Killian Row

Killian had been watching Jean-Loup because that's what he did. There was a lot to see and a lot more to identify as going unseen, hidden beneath the surface of a polite smile or a civil nod. Polite and civil were generally Jean-Loup's go-tos for hiding other things, which wasn't to say he wasn't actually a polite and civil person, but those were hats. Those were the the fancy adornments people put on top of their real selves to draw attention there and to look like they were playing their part right. A hat was not an outfit, it was an accessory, and manners were exactly the same way. Sometimes it was important that you wore the right hat, but sometimes a heart's only job was to distract from a pair of holey shoes or a ragged old coat. Jean-Loup was proving that he could make a ragged old coat look good, but that didn't mean Killian didn't see the coat.

He waited until Jean-Loup spoke first, naturally slipping back into his tools as a guidance counselor and de facto mentor to get the younger man to speak up. Words were most powerful when there weren't any sometimes, such as a silence that desperately pleaded for something to fill it. Killian's refusal to do so meant Jean-Loup would, and Killian's neutral, contented expression hopefully also meant that the only pressure inciting Jean-Loup to do so was himself.

A dorky smile found its way onto his face (it was a familiar expression after all) at Jean-Loup's comment and question. "She is nice," he agreed, "and I think I'd sort of love to watch the two of you trying to be sneaky," he added with a laugh. They were both very intelligent people but sneaking - or general subtlety - didn't strike him as either of their top skills. "You worried about me?" he asked, probing a bit as he leaned back to allow a server to bring their drinks by. "Thanks," he said in passing to them before turning his attention back to Jean-Loup and taking a sip of his coffee. When in Canada.

22 Killian Row Just the one, yeah? 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

March 21, 2021 6:21 AM

You're the expert, you tell me by Jean Wolfe

Usually, not being sneaky was a good thing. Jean-Loup was not really sure if it was a compliment right now, or merely an observation. It mostly seemed like he was somehow funny, so he hid behind a vague smile. It was easy to smile at Killian’s smile though. He looked really happy. And that only twisted Jean-Loup’s own heart half as much as it once would have, knowing that he too had once smiled like that at the mention of someone else’s name.

Killian’s question was harder to answer. Rationally, he had not worried that Ema was not nice, because obviously Killian would not go out with her if she wasn’t. And he knew that the kind of person who said Killian couldn’t see Jean-Loup would qualify as ‘not nice.’ And most of the time he hadn’t even really been thinking about things like that anyway, he was only scraping those strange little corners of his mind right now because Killian had said ‘worried’ and where ‘worried’ came into it was with those things. Mostly, he had just felt left out. It had been bad enough that he didn’t see Killian every day and talk to him all the time, and then there had been this whole new person who was important, and that he’d never met, and then on top of it he’d been sad and angry and not even sure he wanted to meet her, and felt like he was pushing himself further out without wanting to.

So, it was good to know Ema was nice. She was real now, and he wasn’t on the outside, and that was better. But that was all selfish and about him, and he’d already been selfish enough when he’d ignored Killian’s letters – when he hadn’t been able to handle that Killian was happy and he wasn’t.

“Not worried…” he shook his head, deciding it didn’t really apply. “You are the grown up, and I think you know how to choose well by yourself. Just, it is good to know, and I like that I am meeting her. I’m sorry I was a jerk about it before,” he added. Beyond his failure to reply, he really hadn’t done anything, and it was an inaction he had already apologised and been exonerated for several times during Killian’s solo visit. He hadn’t entirely meant to come back to it now, he just… somehow had.

13 Jean Wolfe You're the expert, you tell me 1506 0 5

Killian Row

April 07, 2021 11:23 AM

I prefer "connoisseur." by Killian Row

People often did a thing where they said what they meant without meaning to and it was literally the most helpful thing ever. Killian didn't even have to be that good at his job, just at listening, because people said so much to him without meaning to. He supposed that they probably didn't say so much to everyone, so maybe being good at his job meant being good at listening, but that was irrelevant in this particular moment anyway. It was a passing thought that had sprouted roots and leaves, keeping his mind occupied while Jean-Loup considered and now he tore it out to focus on the moment he was in instead.

"You wouldn't call me a jerk if I'd done the same thing in your situation," Killian pointed out, taking another sip. "I don't think you were a jerk. It's alright, my friend," he promised with a smile. "Honestly . . . I was sort of scared to tell you about Ema, before I knew you were going through your own hard things," he explained, choosing vulnerability because Jean-Loup had done the same in his own way. "I was so . . . afraid. Not really of telling you, but of things going wrong with her and me. With my brother--" his face soured unintentionally before he continued with a smoother expression "-- or with something. I dunno. I didn't want you to think I was being foolish. You're smart, you know. I trust your judgment a lot."

It was harder to say out loud than he really wanted it to be, just because he valued vulnerability and transparency. He just didn't tend to be vulnerable or transparent. It was hard enough with Ema and she had a real need to know what was in his head. With Jean-Loup, someone who could just think Killian was fabulous and go with it, it was harder.

He ran a hand through his own hair, blushing a bit as he gave in to a shy smile at his friend. "I want you to think I'm great, because I think you're great," he explained.

22 Killian Row I prefer "connoisseur." 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

April 07, 2021 9:32 PM

That sounds creepier to me, but what would I know? by Jean Wolfe

Jean-Loup would not have called Killian a jerk in the same situation. He was not sure he would have ventured the nerve to call Killian a jerk under any circumstances, even in the very unlikely event that he was being one. He thought that it was very rude not to reply to someone, and he thought he might have been a bit hurt by silence from Killian, no matter if he had a reasonable reason or not. He couldn't help but wonder what people really meant when they said they weren't mad at him. He was also never sure which of his feelings were reasonable, and which of them were just hang ups from how he was raised, and he was simultaneously surrounded by people who told him all feelings were valid whilst gently informing him that how he saw the world was kind of wonky. It got confusing. It wasn't the first time it had been pointed out that he was being too hard on himself though.

"Thank you," he said, as Killian assured him it was alright again. That sounded like forgiveness, which somewhat confirmed his feeling that he had done wrong, but he was at least able to believe the forgiveness he was offered.

He made a noise in his throat as Killian said he trusted his judgement, one that suggested the mouthful of coffee he had just taken was drowning a bitter laugh on its way down.

"Bad decision," he informed him. He didn't even trust his own judgement any more. He had thought that Dorian- but he cut that line of thought off, though it still played across his face obviously enough.

"I don't understand with your brother," he added cautiously, aware it was a sensitive topic. "Why your brother means you cannot date? Or do I misunderstand?"

He looked a little embarrassed at the last compliment, but also concerned.

"I do think you are great," he stated earnestly, "You don't know this?"

13 Jean Wolfe That sounds creepier to me, but what would I know? 1506 0 5

Elliot Fuller

April 18, 2021 10:00 PM

Does he need to connoise and creep elsewhere? by Elliot Fuller

Elliot glanced across the campus cafe. Jean was someone he saw around a lot - there was significant overlap in their social circles, and they frequented neighbouring or even overlapping sections of the library. However, in terms of real interactions, there hadn't been too many. There had been the start of term when Elliot had registered his details and set up his standing order at the apothecary where Jean worked. The second had been at a party, where Elliot had tried to teach Jean how to play pool, which had gone about as well as expected given how off-his-face drunk Jean had been, and Jean had dropped alarming childhood traumas into the conversation about as often as he'd dropped his pool cue.

Given his mental state during both those interactions, Elliot wasn't entirely sure Jean really knew who he was, at least beyond being someone who was just 'around.'

In theory, that made it not really any of Elliot's business who Jean was talking to right now. The guy opposite looked too young to be Jean's dad (but hey... Purebloods. Though he looked way too casual to he the kind of butthole that Jean had hinted at growing up with), and too old to be a date (though hey, no judgement if that was what Jean was into - but the last time they'd spoken, Jean had been swearing blind that he would never date anyone again). The one thing he could tell for sure was that Jean looked really awkward about it. There were people far better qualified than Elliot to intervene if the person opposite Jean was making him uncomfortable. However, none of them was here. They would be around later - to vent to, to pick up pieces. But, as a trainee vet, Elliot knew that it was thoroughly preferable to stop your thoroughbred Abraxan filly from eating out of the potions garden than dealing with the resultant stomach issues/levitation/fire-breathing. That was to say, prevention was better than cure, even when it was a challenge. Also, he had meant to follow up on a lot of those drunken confessions, but he never had.

He made his way over, greeting Jean with a big smile.

"Hey dude. Whaddup?" he held out his fist for a bump, relieved to see that Jean had picked up at least that much twenty-first century culture even if he did look a little stunned as he returned it.

"Hope I'm not interrupting?" He addressed this more to the person opposite, and although he was still smiling, the way his eyes gave an appraising up-down flick suggested he was actually still making his mind up about that. Elliot wasn't ever really an intimidating figure (at least not in the threatening sense) - he was no taller than the guy, though he had the advantage that he was currently standing up - but he was more than capable of radiating confidence. In fact, his own t-shirt declared him to be 'Explosive Stuff' even if the image of a ball dropping into a cauldron suggested this was more of a sports pun than actual arrogance. A hint at his other interests sat on the strap of his satchel; a chunky pin in the shape of a horse's head. The pastel mane, and the pink sparkly letters around it spelling out 'Pony club' gave it the air of something scavenged from a magazine intended for teenage girls. It was currently tossing its mane and snorting at the stranger. "Tu préfères le français or English?" he checked.

13 Elliot Fuller Does he need to connoise and creep elsewhere? 0 Elliot Fuller 0 5

Killian Row

April 21, 2021 3:38 PM

I promise to only creep with consent, and not at Jean-Loup. by Killian Row

Killian grinned mischievously, enjoying that Jean-Loup could at least laugh about his own bad judgment. He didn't personally think Jean-Loup had bad judgment across the board but he'd been that age once and suspected a measure of it was inherent to the demographic. Plus, arguing over it was silly.

"Ah, and here I thought you trusted my judgment at least!" he said, knowing he'd caught Jean-Loup in a trap there. Either Killian was right and Jean-Loup didn't have terrible judgment or Killian was (gasp!) wrong and Jean-Loup did indeed have terrible judgment. Killian personally thought there was a good chance his own judgment wasn't great but he suspected it might have at least benefited from experience in a way that Jean-Loup's didn't yet. He had his own experiences and they'd mostly taught him not to trust his judgment . . . it was a circular thing and now the word judgment didn't even sound like a real word in his own head.

He sighed inwardly a bit, taking a moment to look down at his own drink and consider his words about his brother carefully. "It's not so much that my brother means I can't date," he said. "Just that . . . well, introducing someone to my family means telling them about my family. All of it." Even the members that Jean-Loup didn't need to know about and would never have the opportunity to meet. That Killian himself would never have the opportunity to meet. "And that was scary for me. I don't want to hurt Bonabelle any more than she's already been hurt and I don't want Ema to get scared off by Lorcan being Lorcan-y," he explained.

He smiled though, happy to be reassured. "I suspected you thought that," he promised. "It's nice to have it confirmed."

His smile was lingering still when someone else approached the table and Killian looked up at him with an open, friendly expression. If this were a cafe in Tumbleweed, his expression might have been more guarded, prepared to answer a question about electives or some such. As it was, he was not Mr. Row, only Killian, so a more open expression was justified. Plus, the fist bump (Killian was so proud) suggested that the newcomer and Jean-Loup were at least decently well acquainted and Killian wasn't about to go off ruining a blossoming friendship or Friendship Plus.

"Not at all," Killian promised, smiling more directly at the young man rather than just leaving his leftover grin there. He was pretty sure he understood the next question correctly, although he hated to say please speak English, because perhaps the lad was asking to find out what language was best to keep Killian out of the conversation. Instead, he answered honestly: "English is best for me. I'm Killian," he added, extending his own hand with a playful expression. "Shake or bump?"

22 Killian Row I promise to only creep with consent, and not at Jean-Loup. 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

April 22, 2021 8:57 PM

No, it's not- this isn't- Oh. by Jean Wolfe

As if Elliot Freaking Fuller had just walked over and fist bumped him. What the heck? Jean knew who he was, obviously but they had only met twice. Both incidents stuck out vividly in Jean’s mind. The first was when he’d been working in the shop – it had been his first day working in the shop, and he hadn’t known how to do anything. There was a list, a list that people had to be registered on to purchase certain supplies, and a letter they were meant to show to get on it – their confirmation of their degree course to prove what they needed. And the first person he’d had to put on that list had been terribly affronted that Jean had even questioned him, because ‘I’m sorry, shop boy, don’t you know who my father is?’ And he was studying medicine. Elliot had walked in off the back of that interaction, of Jean feeling like he had probably just pissed off the most unpleasant and influential person in his cohort, not to mention the entire world of unpleasant memories people like that stirred up iced with the beautiful fact of what he had been reduced to. Elliot had proceeded to treat him like a human being. He’d been patient when Jean didn’t know whether the process for registering veterinary students was the same as medical students. Apart from the fact that, for once, Jean was visibly flustered, Elliot had had no reason to think that he needed someone to be kind or gentle with him and he’d been those things anyway.

The other incident was fuzzier, but again, he was pretty sure it involved Elliot showing monumental levels of patience and humanity whilst he himself was a mess. He had very little doubt that Elliot knew who he was – he just suspected it was for all the wrong reasons, and that any impression he had of him must be utterly terrible. But here he was, offering him a fist bump.

Of all the things Elliot had expected, a strong Irish accent hadn’t been high on the list. That and the language choice had pushed ‘family’ even further into the unlikely column. The fact that this person was ‘Killian’ didn’t really answer much though. There was every chance Elliot was actually the unwelcome one and crashing a date. Or that he was someone not a relative who still made Jean uncomfortable for whatever reason.

“Friend of yours?” Elliot threw the question Jean’s way, as a follow up to the introduction. There was just time to slip it in, for it to seem natural and get a not of confirmation, without it seeming like he was leaving Killian hanging. “Let’s go with shake. I’m Elliot.”

“Killian helped me get my place here,” Jean added. The lesson was one of many that had been drummed into him – when you are the party that brings two people together, it is up to you to facilitate introductions. Like most of those habits, it felt raw and misplaced as it resurfaced here, though he was pretty sure that was just the memories it was dragging with it. The advice itself made sense. “Elliot’s on the Quadpot squad and studies in the faculty of healing sciences, so we run into each other from time to time.”

Elliot took stock of that information, which meant this person had known Jean longer, and that he was probably the one intruding. Still, better safe than reliving childhood traumas.

“Well, I just wanted to say ‘hi,’” he said to Jean. “Si tu n’as pas besoin d’un sneaky rescue from a bad- I’ve drifted back to English, haven’t I?” He offered a grin that really didn’t show much embarrassment in Killian’s direction. After all, he wasn’t sorry for checking in.

“You have,” Jean confirmed. “Et non, pas de besoin. But thank you.”

13 Jean Wolfe No, it's not- this isn't- Oh. 1506 0 7

Killian Row

April 24, 2021 9:31 PM

Do you two want to consensually creep at each other? by Killian Row

Killian accepted the handshake with a smile and a nod, pleased to meet this figure. Elliot - medical student, athlete, confident, friend(?) of Jean-Loup's - was doing a good thing in Killian's mind by making sure that their mutual friend(?) was comfortable in this interaction and that added big points in his favor. Of course, he wasn't entirely sure what those points were all about. Elliot had joined the conversation with the confidence of someone who wanted to make sure Jean-Loup was okay, but not the jealousy or indignation of someone who would be surprised to find him on a date. That either meant that he had no right to such jealousy or no reason to think that Killian would be Jean-Loup's date. That being said, he also didn't know who Killian was or that they were meeting apparently, which made the guidance counselor suspect it wasn't insider knowledge that made him confident this wasn't a date. Killian also didn't want to flatter himself; his own age could knock that possibility off the table for a lot of people and he couldn't entirely blame them for that, even if there were happy consenting couples with wide age differences out there. Happy consenting couples with wide age differences where they were both men was probably a niche enough relationship type that most people wouldn't assume that was what was going on, unless Elliot was open-minded (or experienced) enough to suspect these things. That brought back the possibility of jealousy, but he hadn't struck Killian as necessarily jealous. That brought him back to friend, or possibly acquaintance. Jean-Loup's information about the young man didn't make it sound like they were exactly buddy-buddy but he wasn't exactly famous for being forthcoming either, and downplaying their relationship, especially if it was one that he was still hesitant to share with Killian, wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibilities either.

That all made Jean-Loup's fist bump and Killian's handshake especially interesting, as their own characters made it much more reasonable to do it the other way around. So either Elliot was trying to prove a point about his closeness to Jean-Loup (and Jean-Loup wasn't playing along?), or about his distance to Killian. He didn't give off the vibe that it was Killian's age that made him unwilling to bump, but there was a certain vibe of formality - the only formal thing about this young man really - that made it stand out. Elliot was sending a message; so how much did he know about Jean-Loup that he thought such a message was necessary? Either enough to know that Jean-Loup may need a backup, or so little as to be the kind of person who would do it for anyone who looked vaguely uncomfortable, as Jean-Loup so often did. Or at least as he so often was, if not outwardly appearing thus. Except right now he looked uncomfortable and . . . amazed? Stunned? That was interesting in and of itself, going back to that not forthcoming thing. Although Killian might have been reading too much into minor changes in his friend's expression, he thought he probably knew him well enough to notice that much.

"Hardly had to help much," Killian said, brushing off Jean-Loup's introduction with a smile. "I sure as hell couldn't have passed those tests to get in. Helping someone who is already smart and qualified is much easier than you make it sound. I'm a guidance counselor at Sonora," he added to Elliot, trusting the school's international reputation and the fact that there weren't actually that many magical schools in the world to make it clear what he meant. "Although Jean-Loup wasn't my student," he clarified.

He grinned when Elliot's English revealed basically what Killian had suspected of his intentions in introducing himself, if not some of the more curious bits of the why. "Not too sneaky, but I'm glad you'd be willing to do rescuing," he said.

Jean-Loup seemed to agree with whatever the rest of what Elliot said, or at least affirm it, and perhaps was dismissing Elliot as well. Try as he might, Killian could only read people to a certain extent, especially the really polite ones; thank you could mean a number of things and gratitude was only one small part of the list.

"It was nice meeting you," Killian added to Elliot as the young man walked away and he waited until he was out of earshot and sightlines before raising an eyebrow at Jean-Loup. "He's nice," he said suggestively, taking a sip of his drink with the most innocent expression he'd never managed.

OOC: Permission to god-mod Elliot leaving the conversation granted from his author.

22 Killian Row Do you two want to consensually creep at each other? 1450 0 5

Jean Wolfe

April 25, 2021 9:52 PM

I don't know by Jean Wolfe

The explanation Killian gave did much more to assure Elliot, managing as it did to convey in just a couple of sentences that this was someone who was here to build Jean up, not knock him back down.

"How'd you cross paths?" he asked. He tried his best to have filters on, and be careful with what he asked, but he was also naturally curious, and he didn't think it was likely to be a contentious question. The fact that Jean only got as far as choking out a not particularly distinct syllable before drying up completely suggested he might have misjudged that.

"It's a long story?" Elliot suggested. Using long as a convenient euphemism for awkward/unhappy/whatever. "Or 'it's none of your damn business, Elliot, so butt out?'" he suggested. He wasn't sure if the slight smile that appeared at that was genuine amusement or awkward laughter at the idea of something that was clearly way too direct and uncomfortable for Jean to ever say.

"It's a long story," Jean confirmed.

Elliot smiled as Killian took the rescue in exactly the way it should have been taken. He was provisionally liking this guy.

"Well, as it's not needed, I'll leave you to it. You're doing Rachel's summer camp thing, yeah?" he checked with Jean.

"Yeah."

"Cool. So, I'll be seeing you." The horse badge had, since the handshake, stopping huffing in an affronted manner, and had settled into just flicking its mane around. But it looked like it definitely winked as Elliot turned away.

Jean-Loup picked up his coffee, subconsciously searching for some sort of shield, although it was most likely going to be futile. Sure enough, Killian was smirking at him.

"He is," he confirmed, regarding Elliot's niceness, as it would be rude not to. "And very popular." So why would he ever look twice at Jean, especially after he had so thoroughly made an idiot of himself every time they had spoken? "And I am never dating anyone again," he reminded Killian, his eyes drifting just for a second to the door through which Elliot had just departed.

13 Jean Wolfe I don't know 1506 0 7