Grayson Wright
June 27, 2020 3:13 PM
Concern (tag Evelyn) by Grayson Wright
The demands of his job these days meant that he’d had to conquer it to some extent, but Gray was still not the most socially adept bird in the Sonora nest. Approaching people was not one of his great skills, and when he did, he preferred to summon them in writing instead of just asking them to see him.This was not, however, always possible. Or at least practical. Or…proper, really. Evelyn was a case who fell into that last category. They had biweekly meetings even now, when she largely had her magical control issues under control, and that led to a degree of familiarity which made him feel simultaneously more responsible for her and more concerned about not overstepping his odd role in her life. She was, after all, not entirely unlike other teenagers; there were areas where adults needed to intervene in her life, but areas where it would not be appropriate, welcome, or even beneficial. The problem with familiarity, however, was that it made it easier to tell when she was troubled, but no easier to figure out what sort of issue was on the table.
He had debated at length over whether to stop her after class or not, and had finally opted to wait for their next meeting. He debated it again after a few days, as she seemed to remain a bit of…well, a mess, really, but he decided to stay on the course he had begun. Therefore, a few days later, when she arrived for their meeting, he tried to maintain a normal air as he greeted her. The point, however, seemed necessary to get to.
“It seems like you’ve been struggling a little in class this week,” he said carefully once the pleasantries were exchanged. “Is everything all right?”
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Grayson Wright
Concern (tag Evelyn)
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Evelyn Stones
June 27, 2020 3:33 PM
<s>Denial</s> Gratitude. by Evelyn Stones
Evelyn was ready. The way Professor Wright watched her a little more closely even than he tended to in class over the past few periods was enough to know that he knew that something was wrong. She'd been debating going to him but hadn't wanted to worry the poor man. He seemed a bit like he might molt his whole skin off if he were put under too much pressure and she didn't want to do that to him. She was of the firm mind that if she kept pretending nothing was wrong, nothing would be wrong. So far that had worked exactly zero percent, but it was worth a shot. Her distractions had been working but she'd been tired and it was becoming more obvious. She was grateful to be taking classes with Ness still because she wasn't sure what she'd do if that hadn't been the case.In this case, being ready meant bringing the letters she hoped Professor Wright wouldn't ask about - even if not in so many words - to their next session. There was a good chance that she wouldn't show him, and that she could just offer some platitudes. If she did decide to tell him anything, she could always just summarise. The problem was that she really was very tired, especially in the evening after classes and everything else was done, and that seemed like a lot of work. She hadn't yet written back to her father either, which meant that nothing was really decided yet and it felt not so much like ripping off a scab as just refusing to let one form in the first place.
So she hoped she wouldn't need to. She brought her wan and her water bottle and her book bag and a big sleepy yawn, making sure to rid herself of the last one before she knocked and entered the professor's office. "Hello, Professor," she greeted him, smiling softly. He was easy to smile at because he was nice and he was awkward and he was a figure of great importance to Evelyn. She thought that other people probably had something more like friendship with some professors, and she wasn't sure she'd call Professor Wright a friend, but it was nice to just 'hang out' sometimes, too. She liked to bring him snacks or silly things she'd noticed in the newspaper because she got the impression to he wasn't sure what to do with affection and it made her happy to show people affection in little ways. Gift giving was the easiest way because it required the least vulnerability on her part. Today, she greeted him with a card from a chocolate frog. On the front, Balfour Blane was pictured, looking absolutely hilarious in a purple frock. "Started the council for experimental charms in England," she explained with a wider grin, enjoying her own sense of humor. "I did eat the frog though, sorry about that."
Then the conversation turned and Evelyn frowned, sighing to herself. "I'd hoped I wasn't being that obvious," she admitted as she turned to dig in her bag. Everything felt even more tired than usual when he asked and she realised then that there was no way she'd be able to just explain everything. Deciding it was a bit much to share her father's personal letter, she passed him the one with the court's verdict on it.
"Dad said I have to go back to live with him this summer or he won't let me see my brother again, and I want to get custody after I graduate. He said that if I do, he'll sign CJ over to me when I graduate, or when I turn seventeen, whichever I want. I don't think I can probably trust him," she acknowledged, taking a seat. "But I don't really have a choice. Heinrich offered to come stay so I'm not alone, but I don't want him to get hurt either. I don't know what to do." She frowned, keeping a measured, steady tone. Because she had to. Because very few things were okay and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to be one of them. "So let's meditate? Or . . . what sounds good?"
OOC - Balfour Blane
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Evelyn Stones
<s>Denial</s> Gratitude.
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Grayson Wright
June 30, 2020 10:18 PM
I don't think I've earned that. by Grayson Wright
“Perfectly fair,” said Gray, looking over the wizard on the card. “He looks about as skeptical of me as I am of his fashion choices,” he added, amused, studying the expression the card assumed as the photograph seemed to evaluate him as well. “A wizard who wears that jacket isn’t afraid of anything.” Unlike himself, a wizard whose work wardrobe mostly consisted of shades of medium-dark to dark blue, with minimal ornamentation. “Undeniably significant, though. I have a cousin who’s done spell development – dangerous field.”He had a bad feeling about what he was going to see on the paper Evelyn handed him, but the words on the page were worse than he would have imagined. Reaching the words wherein the victim was nearly of the age of majority and is considered culpable for provocation of the crime committed against her, he made a sort of involuntary hiss of outrage, and said “what th – “ before catching himself short of swearing out loud in front of a student. He completed the phrase in his head, however, and extended his remarks further in his head also, before concluding that if there were words bad enough to describe the court officials relevant to this situation, he didn’t know them, and therefore should dedicate some resources soon to making some up.
And then it got worse.
“Very little,” he said when Evelyn asked what ‘sounded good’ for going forward. “My dear, I’m so sorry.”
He put the piece of paper down carefully, lest he damage it out of carelessness, should a stray thought land the wrong way.
“If practicing any of the concentration techniques we’ve worked with over the past few years helps you, though, then by all means,” he said. “This, however, could well drive anyone to a loss of control. I – I feel I need to reiterate that…whatever…person – “ his tone implied a distinct distaste for sharing a species with said person – “wrote this is incorrect to the, the place of delusion – point of delusion. A grown man – m - anyone committing a crime against you is in, in no way your fault. The very id - idea is perverse.”
He was repeating words irregularly again, he noticed. Damn it, he’d thought he’d rid himself of that behavior. At least he didn’t think it was particularly noticeable, could be passed off as any of the little irregular breaks in speech that anyone had, especially under stress. He’d have to concentrate doubly now, though, to keep from doing it to the point Evelyn noticed it. Seeming rattled or hesitant was probably about the worst thing he could do just now.
“As far as the future goes,” he said more slowly. “I understand you want to help your brother – but you have to think of your own safety.” He didn’t know what to say about the deal itself, or the offer from Heinrich Hexenmeister; he thought very highly of the young man, but everything she was suggesting seemed impossible. For one thing, both of their guardians might have things to say about the prospect of Heinrich taking up residence in the Stones home for the summer. For another, what Evelyn was proposing for the more distant future…how did she expect to take care of a small child right out of school? There were more immediate problems, though. “You can’t help CJ if things…if they got worse, next summer.” It seemed somehow too much to just say ‘if the bastard murders you next time.’ “You thought you’d be all right at the end of last year, and it…seems that wasn’t the case after all….”
He trailed off and adjusted his glasses. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” he asked finally.
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Grayson Wright
I don't think I've earned that.
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Evelyn Stones
July 01, 2020 12:50 PM
You've definitely done. by Evelyn Stones
The nearly complete picture of Professor Wright swearing at the absolute nightmare that was Evelyn's situation struck Evelyn as surprisingly funny and she burst out with a short bark of laughter before it faded into the cacophony of other feelings and her tears came to the forefront, leaking quietly down her cheeks. Because really, it wasn't funny. None of it was funny. And Professor Wright couldn't fix it either. She thought of her conversation with Gary and almost laughed again, realising that even her closest professor contact was an Aladren.My dear, I'm so sorry.
They were the nicest words an adult had spoken to her in a very long time. Marijke and Fionn and others in Ness' family were certainly kind and nice and caring and gave her the world as much as they were capable of doing so, but there was something so tender about someone whose only real responsibility for her was to teach her Charms caring about her this way now. Perhaps it was just the distance; Marijke and Fionn were far away and Professor Wright was right here, and he cared. Perhaps that's why she didn't feel like she was without a mother or father; she had surrogates that did a much better job than her biological parents ever had.
"Could I hug you?" she asked very quietly, afraid to be turned down but more afraid to make Professor Wright uncomfortable. When he acquiesced, albeit a bit nervously to her eye, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her ear against his chest, feeling for just a moment like everything was okay. Professor Wright patted her awkwardly on the shoulder and Evelyn took a breath, feeling safe, before backing away again and wiping her face with her wrist. "Thank you," she said.
It was interesting to see how Professor Wright handled being angry, which he clearly was, and Evelyn found that she appreciated it. It was probably unhealthy how much she validated her own feelings on the anger of others, but it was nice not to have it directed at herself, and Professor Wright seemed like a little boy in a professor costume sometimes, so it was a good reminder that he was not. He was a grown man who cared about the wellbeing of a child/young adult.
As he spoke, a flush of guilt made Evelyn's stomach swirl. Professor Gray seemed . . . scared. Like he was trying not to say things that could be too horrible because he was afraid they would be real. There was no point saying the words because everyone who knew the situation in any detail knew that next time, Evelyn might not come back. It was a horrifying prospect, but it was life. Or death, as the case may be. But what if she was on the outside? What if Ness or Heinrich were saying they might be murdered by their parents over the summer but it was fine because the risk was worth it for the sake of a younger sibling? Would Evelyn support Heinrich going back home to protect Hans if it might meant that he might die? She couldn't imagine anything in the world that was worth that sort of risk. It wasn't a perspective she'd thought of in such concrete terms and she was pretty sure she owed Ness an apology. She knew that Ness had been upset by the prospect, but she'd been too frustrated when they'd spoken about it to really wrap her head around just how awful it must feel for this person who was Evelyn's best friend in the world. Ness had always been there for Evelyn and Evelyn had done her best to return the favor, but what would happen if her own father made sure Evelyn couldn't be there anymore? If she lost Ness, she would lose her mind. She wasn't sure what to think of that.
But it brought her back to the alternative: not going back. What would happen to CJ? What would the options be? It all felt like way too much for her to decide and she found herself hoping again that Ness was right. That they could write a letter to Marijke. That everything would be okay. That she wouldn't have to figure this out on her own.
"You're helping a lot," Evelyn admitted when Professor Wright asked. "I feel safe here." She looked around at the room that had become so familiar, with its sights and sounds and smells. Even the temperature in the room was reassuring to Evelyn now. "Are you okay?" she asked, remembering again that she wasn't the only person dealing with this. "Like are you doing okay with all this? I don't mean to stress you out."
OOC - Gray's hug and pat approved by his author.
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Evelyn Stones
You've definitely done.
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Grayson Wright
July 02, 2020 8:52 AM
Ah - thank you, then, though I wish it wasn't necessary. by Grayson Wright
”Could I hug you?”Of all the answers he might have gotten, that wasn’t one he would have expected. He imagined he looked rather startled for a moment. Quite aside from the issue of what was or was not within the letter of the rules, it was simply a surprise; he did not think of himself as the sort of person people went to when they wanted hugs. He was closer to Evelyn than most of the students at this point, but imagined the relationship as something akin to how he hoped he was regarded among the Aladrens – he didn’t think he was constructed quite right for a paternal persona, but he could manage a fairly decent Somewhat Deadpan Uncle.
“I – I suppose so.” He suspected it sounded half like a question. “If you wish.”
Even having granted such permission, he was surprised again to discover she had meant a hug-hug, rather than the affectionate-but-more-reserved sideways version. He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting, ‘there-there’ sort of way.
And then the poor child asked if he was all right, and he contemplated the fact that humanity really was the worst and most marvelous thing all at once. The purpose of art was to hold up a lens to examine it through, and he tended (admittedly with bias) to think writing was particularly important among them in this respect, but this made him suspect they were all trying to do that which couldn’t be done. People were simply uncapturable.
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” he said. “I’m quite angry on your behalf, of course, and concerned, but that’s not something for you to be concerned over – you have enough on your mind.”
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Grayson Wright
Ah - thank you, then, though I wish it wasn't necessary.
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Evelyn Stones
July 02, 2020 1:25 PM
Me, too, sir. by Evelyn Stones
CW: Existential dread, vaguely suicidal implications (so sorry, my characters are a stinking mess right now)Evelyn smiled a little sadly at Professor Wright. "It's easier to worry about you than it is to worry about me," she told him. Then, in a low, conspiratorial voice, she added: "I'm really not that thoughtful otherwise." She cocked her head, smirking playfully at the professor before dropping her gaze to her fidgeting hands.
Where were they meant to go from here? Evelyn still hadn't decided what to do about everything, and she felt a bit like she was saying her goodbyes. Christmas was coming up soon, and that would be wonderful, but now it also seemed so hollow. Gary knew enough to be worried. Ness and Heinrich definitely did. Professor Wright did, too. And the McLeods. It was like they would all be throwing a party to distract the terminally ill patient from the fact that this might be their last Christmas. Evelyn hoped that wasn't the case but she was finding that her own mortality was weighing heavily on her these days. It was a thought that seemed to swirl constantly beneath the surface, ready to pop out at the first sign of anything vaguely threatening and laugh, because it couldn't be half so threatening as what else she faced.
The thought had occurred to her recently in potions class and she felt like an ingredient, laid out, ready to be dissected. She'd gone for lunch and found that she couldn't stomach any of the meat at the table and had quite accidentally turned vegetarian over the past week. It was probably its own sort of dangerous considering that she wasn't really eating much of anything, but that wasn't to be helped. It had to be better not to eat much than to eat and throw it up because she couldn't keep it down. Perhaps she should go to Healer Willow. Or the therapist Ms. Heidi had suggested, Lillian Green. The woman was, apparently, willing to set up appointments at Sonora, so Evelyn could see both the healer and the therapist in the same trip to the Hospital Wing.
Thoughts swirled in her head that she didn't want. That she knew were dangerous because they'd come to mind before and she didn't like them. Now, when those thoughts came to mind, she thought of Ness or Heinrich. The way they laughed or smiled. The way they felt to be close to. It helped, but those were getting harder to draw on recently as she'd been missing some of those moments by falling asleep in the middle of them.
She pushed the whole of them aside, shoving them off the cliff that danced in her mind, and took a breath, facing Professor Wright again. "Sorry to be such a downer," she said, smiling softly. "What's on the agenda tonight?"
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Evelyn Stones
Me, too, sir.
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