Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 26, 2020 10:33 AM
Treat every creature with respect... especially Ailuros (tag Zeus in the Brooding-Hawthorne quarters) by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
It wasn't often that Tabitha was left alone in charge of the little burden that she and Mary had adopted but because her classes for the day finished before Mary's did, it did happen occasionally. It was only ever usually for about an hour and Tabitha had proven to be just about capable of tolerating the child for that long. It was simple enough. She tossed him a bag of goldfish crackers for which he seemed to have an endless appetite and appreciation as well as some juice, some paper, his crayons and allowed him to draw pictures while she generally sat at her desk and completed whatever bit of work she had to do urgently. The system worked well enough and there hadn't been any mishaps so far.So, it was this routine that Tabitha followed once she'd picked the boy up from the care of the Carter-Xaviers and took him back to their quarters. Once she had him settled, she went to attend to her last bits of grading. Everything seemed to be going well for about half an hour until she heard a pained yowl and hiss that could've only come from Ailuros.
Immediately alarmed because it was rare that Ailuros made such negative noises, she whirled round to find the current bane of her existence clutching the kneazle's tail and the kneazle in question pawing at the little boy's hands. Kneazles were very protective of their family so she knew that Ailuros was unlikely to harm him but he did have hold of her tail which she probably wasn't appreciating.
"Hey, hey, let go of her tail!" Tabitha snapped, rushing over and kneeling down. She gently prised his fingers off Ailuros' tail and the kneazle let out another yowl and ran a short distance away. Tabitha gave an apologetic look to Ailuros before looking at her little blonde burden. "Never ever pull on a kneazle's tail. They don't like it."
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
Treat every creature with respect... especially Ailuros (tag Zeus in the Brooding-Hawthorne quarters)
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
May 26, 2020 11:47 AM
I'm so so sorry! by Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Kitty was really soft and fluffy and warm and Zeus thought that she was very nice to play with. Plus, Tabby was busy doing work and so Zeus was occupying himself with the soft, fluffy, warm kitty while he waited for her to finish. He liked when he got to spend time in Tabby's office because it was comfortable and he felt like a grown up. He thought that this was probably exactly what adults did when they went into each other's office, since there wasn't any place else to work, so probably when other professors came to visit Tabby or Mary without him, then they would take turns playing with Kitty.Zeus looked up when Tabby sounded . . . not mad but maybe a little? She came and had him let go of Kitty's tail. He looked from her stern face to the cat. Had he hurt the cat? He hadn't meant to. He really hadn't meant to. And now Tabby was upset with him, or maybe scared. His eyes welled up with tears and he nodded, determined to be a good boy. But Kitty sounded so sad when it yowled and Zeus didn't like to think that he'd done that. He blinked to clear his eyes as best he could and looked up at Tabby to see if she was still upset.
"Did I hurt Kitty?" Zeus asked, frowning. "Are you mad at me?" His lip trembled sadly.
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
I'm so so sorry!
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 26, 2020 12:08 PM
I-It's okay... Just tickle, don't pull. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
If Tabitha either knew anything about small children or remembered being one herself, she might've realised sooner that they didn't like angry faces or stern voices and that being in trouble was not a comfortable position to be in. Therefore, the natural reaction for a small child was to cry and her little burden seemed to be on the very verge of doing so. His eyes were certainly shiny with tears and this whole situation was about to become Tabitha's worst nightmare. She needed to fix it and fast."I-It's okay..." she started, her hands fluttering around the boy but not really touching him. She didn't know whether she should pick him up to hold him or leave him where he was and she really wished Mary was here to help. Mary would know what to do. She certainly wouldn't flounder and struggle like Tabitha was currently doing. She glanced at Ailuros who had, mercifully, not run off but was looking at the little boy. "Look, she's okay..."
Tabitha decided to use this moment to teach him. She could do that. She taught every day and this would be no different. Granted, he was smaller and younger than her usual pupils but that didn't mean he couldn't be taught.
"Ailuros doesn't like having her tail pulled. It'd be like somebody pulling your hair. It would hurt, right?" Tabitha pulled gently on one his blonde curls, not enough to hurt him but to demonstrate her point. "She does, however, like to be tickled behind her ears."
She turned her attention to Ailuros who knew that she was being talked about and was slowly padding her way back over to Zeus. Tabitha smiled and reached out to gently tickle behind one of her ears, Ailuros purring in response and rubbing her head against Tabitha's hand. "You see? She likes that. It feels good for her. Do you want to try?"
She took him gently by the hand and guided it to the spot behind Ailuros' ear. "Remember to do it gently..."
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
I-It's okay... Just tickle, don't pull.
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
May 26, 2020 12:33 PM
Ooh, tickles! by Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Zeus smiled hesitantly when Tabby pulled on his hair. She didn't touch him as much as Mary did but he liked when she did because she was soft, too. He knew that he used to have a mom and a dad, but it had been a long time now since he'd seen them and he was starting to forget exactly what they smelled like. Tabby and Mary smelled like home now most of the time, except that Mary often smelled like whatever gross stuff she'd been putting in a cauldron, in addition to other nicer smells. Tabby didn't usually smell like guts or eyeballs.He nodded to show his understanding as Kitty purred happily. Why didn't humans purr? It would be easier to tell when they were happy that way. He liked that sometimes he noticed that when he was really happy or feeling bubbly, other people would too. It was nice that that sort of thing could be spread around and all he had to do was smile.
Tabby asked him whether he'd like to try and he didn't hesitate, reaching one hand up to his own ear and the other for Tabby's, scratching both as he waited to see whether it was a good feeling. But then Tabby took his hand and guided him to Kitty and he realised that she meant try on the cat, not on her or himself. That made sense. But grown-ups should really use more clear words.
He did his best to copy Tabby's motions and scratched Kitty's ear, smiling when the cat purred for him to. She even went so far as to roll over onto her back and expose her belly for them to scratch.
"Mommy and daddy had a cat," he told Tabby, still watching Kitty. "But only for-- not for long. Ms. Newton, it was her cat, and so mommy and daddy watched him - it was a boy - when Ms. Newton went away to see her son in another state."
He looked up at Tabby, smiling. "I like Kitty better than Ms. Newton's cat," he told her, and then he frowned a little before standing up and reaching his arms around Tabby as best he could. "I miss mommy and daddy but I like you and Mary, too."
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Ooh, tickles!
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 26, 2020 3:11 PM
Yes, it does. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
Tabitha didn’t dare move when the boy reached up to tickle her behind her ear, clearly having misunderstood her. She had meant Ailuros, not her. It was odd. She had never been tickled behind her ears, not even by Mary and it was an odd sensation. His fingers were soft because he was still so young, his hands weren’t scarred or changed by work or injury. It was odd but it was also sort of nice. Still, it wasn’t what she had meant and she had made the decision to teach him so she moved his hand to Ailuros’ ear.She smiled softly at the kneazle’s reaction, unable to stop herself from doing so. Ailuros made her feel happy and reminded her of better times, when it had just been her and Mary and she wasn’t on her hands and knees teaching a small child how to appropriately stroke a cat. Then, she felt guilty for thinking like that, even more so when the small beast started talking about his Mum and Dad. His Mum and Dad who he was never going to see again. He was only four. Did he even understand that yet? And if he didn’t, how was she or Mary or even both of them going to explain that to him?
She quietly listened to him talk as she obliged Ailuros’ desire to be tickled on her tummy. Tabitha didn’t know who Ms. Newton was but the name inflated her guilt because it was somebody else he was likely never going to see again. Or Ms. Newton’s cat. She didn’t know how to explain any of this to him so she simply faked a smile and said instead, “I’m sure your Mummy and Daddy miss you too...”
‘If they could...‘ she thought as she let him hug her. It was still weird for her that he did that sometimes so she only very loosely wrapped her arms around him.
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
Yes, it does.
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
May 26, 2020 3:28 PM
Which means we smile now? by Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Tabby was sort of funny because she didn't seem like she knew what hugs were. Zeus had noticed this early on and was determined to teach her all about them, mostly by exposure therapy (if he'd known words for such things). So far, she'd gotten much better at it, but she still seemed a little awkward. That was okay though, because he would just keep hugging her. This time, though, she had some very exciting news and Zeus leaned away from her, his eyes big and round as he looked up.He wasn't sure where to start. "They miss me?" he repeated, mind racing as a grin spread across his face. "When they came home and they had their-- the accident happened, the lady-- my babysitter and the other lady-- they said that they wouldn't come back," he explained, stumbling over his words in a rush to get them all out. "Like when grandma and grandpa went away and mommy and daddy said they were going to heaven and we couldn't visit or anything." He thought that Tabby probably already knew about such things because grown-ups always seemed to have knowledge of such things, although he thought heaven might be sort of sad because all the grown-ups had looked sad when they talked about grandma and grandpa and then later when they talked about mommy and daddy. He'd thought it was just because they couldn't go visit and they missed them, but now he thought that maybe that wasn't true. "The lady said I couldn't see mommy and daddy again because they weren't here anymore." He'd seen the accident and he thought that that made some sense, because they hadn't looked like themselves when he'd seen them last. "They miss me?" he confirmed, beaming. "Can I see them?"
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Which means we smile now?
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 26, 2020 4:12 PM
No... no, we don't. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
Tabitha froze. Freezing up wasn't something she did often because hesitating or failing to act frequently caused more problems. In a dangerous, life-threatening situation, freezing up could get you killed. She hadn't realised. She had underestimated just how much Zeus knew and understood about the situation he was in. She had just given hope to this little boy and now she was going to have steal it away. How did one tell a child that no, he couldn't his beloved Mummy and Daddy? Why had she said such a stupid thing? This was just more evidence to support the fact that she shouldn't be left alone with him. She could not be trusted. Nobody had told her not to say anything about his parents. And now, she had created a situation that had no happy ending. He might not have seen Tabitha as his parent but he had, at the very least, liked her. She was pretty sure that he was never going to like her again.Zeus was babbling and Tabitha couldn't think. Her heart was racing, beating like a drum inside of her chest and she swallowed thickly. How was she supposed to fix this? This wasn't fair. She didn't know. The child hadn't come with a manual or even an instruction sheet. Presumably, everybody knew that it was probably a good idea not to talk about his parents to him. Everybody had clearly known that except for Tabitha. This was exactly what she had been afraid of all along. She'd screwed up. She was a bad parent. She'd said the wrong thing. Mary would've known not to say that. He was much better and safer in Mary's hands than he was in Tabitha's. Tabitha was clearly just destructive.
She let go of him like she'd been scalded. She couldn't hold him. She should never have held him in the first place. He was a sweet little boy but he shouldn't be in her care, just as she had known all along but she had tried. She had tried for Mary and look at what she'd done. He was looking at her with eyes filled with hope, looking at her like she was the answer to everything, like she was going to fix everything and Tabitha really wished that she could but even though she was a talented witch, she couldn't fix this. Nobody could. There was no spell that could bring back the dead. Michelle and her husband were lost forever and Tabitha was about to screw up their son for life.
"The lady and the babysitter were right..." she started, her gut twisting with guilt. She felt like she was going to be sick and her heart hurt. He hadn't deserved to hear this once, never mind twice. "Your Mummy and Daddy are gone and where they are, you can't see them."
Tears started to sting behind Tabitha's eyes and she tried desperately not to let them fall. She did not want him to see her cry because she was pretty sure that would be another big mistake. Children weren't supposed to see adults cry. As a child, Tabitha had never seen her parents cry. That's just not something children were supposed to see. Parents or guardians were supposed to be strong. Crying was not allowed. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check before continuing.
"They're not coming back..." Tabitha murmured and glanced at the door that connected Mary's office to their private quarters, hoping her wife would come through it and somehow make this better. She couldn't do this alone. She needed her wife. "I'm sorry, you can't see them."
She swallowed again. She could barely look at him. She didn't want to see the look on his face as she crushed his hopes into dust. She didn't want to see his smile disappear and his face twist as he cried. How had she done this? She was normally so careful. She never did anything without considering the consequences. Everything Tabitha said was considered and with a purpose until now and it was going to be listed as the biggest mistake of her life.
And where the hell was her wife?
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
No... no, we don't.
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
May 26, 2020 4:43 PM
Yes, it will be okay. by Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Zeus noticed Tabby's body language before her words. She was pulling away. Why was she pulling away? When she was all pulled away, he saw her eyes looking sad and wet like when people cried. But Tabby never cried. Even when he'd caught her falling asleep in odd places (she fell asleep at her desk once and he hadn't really been sure what to do so he just let her sleep) or when he'd asked for help and she did those big long sighs, he'd never seen her cry before. That just wouldn't do.He nodded sadly, having known that was the case. It hurt a lot and he had had a warm feeling in his chest that now felt like a popped balloon, but that was sort of normal now. It had been a long time since he'd seen Mommy and Daddy and it was good that they were in heaven, even if he couldn't visit them.
"Don't cry," he told her, reaching forward to touch her cheeks with both hands, looking at her face. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek like mommy used to do for him when he was crying about something and like how Mary sometimes did when he had a bad dream and she came in and helped him go back to sleep.
Maybe this was why grown-ups went to heaven sometimes. When grandma and grandpa had gone away and daddy couldn't see his parents anymore, then mommy had learned how to help him feel better. Now Zeus' parents had gone away, and Mary and Tabby were learning how to make him feel better. Or at least, so he'd thought. Now he was realising that maybe his parents had gone away so that he could learn how to take care of other people. They'd taught him all sorts of stuff, like how sometimes when you had to go to the bathroom and it was hard, tummy rubs helped, or how there was some food that was okay to eat anytime, some food that was okay to eat sometimes, and some things that weren't okay to eat ever because they weren't food. Goldfish crackers were, in his opinion, improperly categorised as sometimes food. He was happy that he and Tabby saw eye to eye on that one at least.
Clearly his lessons about hugs were not sticking so well because Tabby was pulling away still, so he would just have to do better. He knew that you weren't supposed to touch people who didn't want to be touched, but Tabby did seem to want to touch him, she just didn't know how. Hugs, it seemed, were a learned thing. So he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her again, holding on tightly.
"Don't cry," he said again. "You and Mary will have to be my mommy and daddy until we can go see them again." He thought about this for a moment, and pulled back a little to look at Tabby again. He was pretty sure that he'd only ever seen boy daddies, but he hadn't seen everyone in the world, so maybe girls and boys could both be daddies or mommies. Or maybe he had two mommies now? Daddy and Tabby were sort of the same word, so maybe it depended on what their names were. He didn't know what his mommy and daddy's names were though, so he couldn't prove his theory. Still, it would have to do for now. "You're okay at it, and you're learning. You'll be a great daddy," he told her, putting his head on her shoulder again.
He wasn't sure whether his first mommy and daddy could hear him or see him, but he did miss them. When Tabby wasn't looking, he closed his eyes and let himself be sad. Just for a minute, though; he had some new parents to teach and lessons had begun. "I love you," he told her matter-of-factly, figuring she should get used to knowing that if she was going to be his daddy.
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Zeus Brooding-Hawthorne-Smith
Yes, it will be okay.
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
May 27, 2020 2:14 PM
It really doesn’t feel like it at times. by Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
Tabitha, with her eyes closed to try and stop her tears from falling, was attempting to prepare herself for tears or screaming or even small fists to come flying at her. In her mind, the little boy opposite her was about to turn in a screeching monster, his anger directed solely at her for shattering his hopes. She definitely deserved it. She had created this mess in the first place, like the irresponsible person she once had been. Tabitha thought she had grown out of this. That her days of being irresponsible and careless were over. Clearly, she was wrong.When no screaming was heard and instead, she felt small hands touch her cheeks, she opened her eyes, confusion passing across her face as she looked at her adopted burden. She frowned when she saw no tears, only a small face looking at her with a determined look that looked startlingly similar to the one that she sometimes wore. There was supposed to be tears and screaming and a full scale mental breakdown. Isn’t that what children did when they didn’t get what they wanted? They certainly didn’t kiss anybody on their cheeks. Was this boy defective or something?
Her confusion rose further when he hugged her tightly, surprisingly strong for a four year old boy and she didn’t say anything as he talked, the frown remaining on her face as she slowly wrapped her arms around him. Had he not understood what she had been saying? Surely, any minute now, her words would sink in and make sense and everything would all go to hell. With all the bad luck that had been dished out recently, surely she couldn’t have escaped dealing with a child’s tantrum?
Her breath stopped when he called her ‘daddy’. Her first instinct was to correct him. She was a woman and therefore, she couldn’t be ‘daddy’. Then, the fact that he’d said that at all sunk in and her heart ached with a feeling she couldn’t describe. The knot of unease and guilt that she had been holding in her stomach felt like it had loosened a little bit and all because of his words. Without thinking, she held him a little closer, a little tighter, tucking his head under her chin and smelled that sweet citrus scent that he carried.
She could be ‘daddy’, if that’s what he wanted her to be. She had learned over the past couple of weeks that there was no rule book to read when it came to looking after children. There wasn’t even a rule book to say who could be a Mum or a Dad. They were just words, really. It was perhaps a little weird but the title of ‘daddy’ felt comfortable. If Zeus wanted her to be his daddy, she would be okay with that.
She didn’t reply when he said those three little words that she often said to Mary. She might’ve been comfortable with her new title but she didn’t feel ready to say those words yet. Instead, she simply pressed a kiss to the top of his head and hoped that the action conveyed enough and would tide him over until she was able to one day, say it back to him.
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Tabitha Brooding-Hawthorne
It really doesn’t feel like it at times.
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