Can you help? (Tag Mr. Row) on Elective Hall

Dorian Montoir

April 12, 2020 8:27 PM

Can you help? (Tag Mr. Row) by Dorian Montoir

Dorian made his way to the guidance counsellor’s office, feeling somewhat nervous. For one thing, it was the first time he had seen Mr. Row since Tumbleweed. Dorian and Jean-Loup had not stopped at merely sitting casually in cafes together. They had behaved appropriately, of course - they were both still gentlemen - but they had behaved like they were a couple. Because they were. It had been surreal and liberating and wonderful and terrifying.

Now he was back at Sonora, and having to deal with everyone’s reactions to that. He had enough faith in the adults of this institution to believe that they couldn’t be actively unpleasant or call him names or punish him in any way for what he was - Professor Brooding had always made it quite clear that that simply was not allowed. He suspected there was a difference between that and being okay with it. Being willing to help him. Offering advice that wasn’t tainted by opinion or judgement.

There was a particular reason why that possibility was at the forefront of his mind, and it was another reason to be nervous as he made his way to see Mr. Row. He also wasn’t really sure whether he was going to be allowed to seek this kind of help.

He knocked, swallowing the big lump of fear that was tightening his throat, and entered the office. He leant on the back of the chair rather than taking it immediately. No point getting comfy until he knew he was welcome to stay.

“Hello. Am I allowed to ask your advice for someone else? Someone who doesn’t go here?” he checked. “I know… I know it’s probably not really your job to help people outside of Sonora, but he doesn’t have anyone else he can talk to. My boyfriend,” he added, his eyes were already watching Mr. Row’s face carefully but the stare intensified slightly at the use of this word, “He has someone like you - someone who does the same job as you,” he clarified, given what he was about to say next, “At his school, but he doesn’t feel like he can trust her.”

13 Dorian Montoir Can you help? (Tag Mr. Row) 1401 1 5

Killian Row

April 12, 2020 8:47 PM

Yes! I mean probably. But yes! by Killian Row

The year was coming to an end. Students were particularly freaked out this time of year because RATS and CATS kept everyone feeling a bit overwhelmed, and especially if they were facing graduation. And especially because there was a big fancy Ball between now and graduation. All in all, this time of year kept Killian busy. But he loved it and it always served to remind him of how valuable the next generation was, and how lucky he was to have a skillset that let him work closely with them.

Today's task was letter writing. Letters of recommendation, letters of requests for internship placements, letters to confirm student applications, and more. On the whole, Killian didn't mind. However, he did sort of wonder if the Muggles had done something right when they'd decided writing all these things by hand was just not going to work long term.

He was rolling his wrist and trying to ignore the cautionary crackling sounds it made before he began again when there was a knock at his door. His expression changed immediately to one of neutral pleasantness and he pushed the letters aside, demonstratively focusing on the student who entered: Dorian Montoir, sixth year, prefect, Teppenpaw, polyglot, and, if his own two eyes hadn't tricked him, in a relationship with another boy. It could be any of those pieces or something else entirely that Dorian was coming to him about and Killian made a point of brightening up as Dorian came in. It wasn't hard (because Killian was always excited to see his students) until Dorian's expression showed a host of things that were arguably not "excited."

His first thought was to correct Dorian's assumption that his job wasn't to help people outside of Sonora. Quite the contrary; his job was to help employers and schools find skilled, intelligent, creative young adults to work with, and vice versa. However, that was not the point just yet and Killian nodded, his expression unchanging. Their previous conversations had suggested that Dorian may need to look a bit more at an independent future than his upbringing might have indicated, and Killian wondered if this was why.

"Absolutely," Killian said, settling into his seat and giving all the indications of readiness to talk. It made him very sad - and very frustrated - that he had colleagues at other schools who had reputations for being unsafe for students. He hoped it was a matter of Dorian's boyfriend feeling anxious in general and not something she had done. "The quality of my advice will depend a lot on how much you're comfortable - or he's comfortable - with you sharing with me, since I don't know his grades, interests, or anything else unless you tell me. Well," his lips twitched up playfully. "I guess I know one of his interests. But on the whole, it'll depend on what you want to share. I am happy to offer advice though."

Really, this was the sort of advice that students needed, and Killian was happy to help there. Students didn't need jobs after school, they needed to know how to apply for jobs, how to pay rent, how to find housing, how to get into further educational programs, and how to Adult. Helping Dorian's boyfriend was a big piece of helping Dorian, and Killian was more than happy to do that. "Do you have time and want to talk now?"

22 Killian Row Yes! I mean probably. But yes! 1450 0 5

Dorian Montoir

April 12, 2020 9:16 PM

It's really complicated by Dorian Montoir

He was going to help. He was going to help. Dorian felt his stomach untwisting. Not only at the fact that Mr. Row didn’t mind dealing with a student outside his jurisdiction. He also wasn’t talking to Dorian any differently than he had before. He was just asking his usual, practical questions.

Dorian settled into the chair opposite the guidance counsellor, readying his answers about Jean-Loup until he was caught off-guard for a moment by Mr. Row claiming to already know one of Jean-Loup’s interests.

“Quidd-” he began questioningly, wondering whether Mr. Row had seen Jean-Loup hanging around Tumbleweed the previous trip, and then stopping as he realised that that might not be entirely what Mr. Row was getting. Was he- had he just - was he referencing- Dorian did not generally blush. It was one of the ways that nature had been kind to him, because if he had, he might have spent most of his life being tomato-red, given how easily he embarrassed. However, the expression always showed acutely enough on his face for the colour to be somewhat irrelevant, and he did an impressive impression of a goldfish for several seconds.

“Yes, I have time now,” he clarified, relieved of the subject change that he could jump on, marshalling his thoughts to the other questions back into order.

“He wants to be a healer,” he explained, a hint of pride creeping into his voice, and a soft smile replacing the awkward expression that had been on his face. “And he has the grades for it. He’s very smart,” he added, definitely smiling now, “He actually applied to some schools. Some outside Québec. They say his grades and his applications for his magical subjects are fine but his English grades are not. And some of them… he missed the interviews. He isn’t sure about talking to his parents about leaving. Or his school. Why would anyone want to leave Québec?” he sighed, his tone clearly rhetorical, “Everyone knows everyone. There are so many family connections to take advantage of. So many society events to meet nice, eligible girls… He tried to tell his family once before. About… how he is. He’s never told me properly what happened, only that it did not go well. I think he’s scared that if he shows any interest in the world outside of his parents’ network, it’s going to make them ask questions.

“He was talking about finding a residential placement. For the summer. Somewhere he can improve his English and...And with someone who’s not going to kick him out if they find out...” he trailed off. It had sounded like a good plan when Jean-Loup had explained it. Now putting it across to the guidance counsellor, it sounded different. It sounded like ‘help my boyfriend run away from home.’ It sounded like ‘find someone who’ll give him somewhere to live as well as a job to do.’ And that sounded like a lot to ask, and like it maybe wasn’t going to be realistic, or be Mr. Row’s responsibility. They’d talked a lot about budgets and paying rent. He knew those were things that adults had to deal with. But there had been some mention of jobs where board was included. He just didn’t know how many of those there were in the medical field. And whether they cared whether you really, really needed it cos your home life sucked or would just give it to someone else who had a better application or could already speak English. And who didn’t mind that you were foreign and that you fancied other boys.

13 Dorian Montoir It's really complicated 1401 0 5

Killian Row

April 12, 2020 9:43 PM

You say "complicated," I say "a challenge." by Killian Row

Dorian took a seat and Killian did his best to keep his composure straight. He was well practiced in this regard, but it was an absolute joy to joke around with young adults because they were often still trying to figure out what was happening. In some ways, transitioning from school to post-school was harder than the transition from child to teen. Killian busied himself with pulling out Dorian's file and some extra paper, figuring this was the most logical place to take notes and knowing that students were fairly accustomed to him doing exactly that during their sessions. Other than occasionally glancing down to make sure he was writing generally straight across the page, Killian gave his Dorian his full attention, nodding along to show that he was listening.

"Not knowing his family," Killian began when it seemed like Dorian had exhausted the information he'd initially planned to share. "It's hard for me to help much on that front. If your boyfriend will be over the age of seventeen, then he has a lot more freedom in his own choices if he's comfortable not sharing information with his parents. That may cause some problems, but he does have rights that he may not before the age of seventeen. For resources specific to couples in similar situations, I can give you information about the McLeod Foundation. You might know Ness and Kir McLeod? Their family runs a foundation that would have a lot of helpful information and may be able to help with housing, jobs, and things like that, as well as general safety and mental health services. I can give you a pamphlet when we're done today."

Safety was always his first concern, and he found that students rarely wanted to talk about it. As such, he made a point of bringing it up first - clear the air, get it off the table, and put students' private fears at ease - and then diving in to their other questions.

"Does he have any training in healing arts already? Magical or non-magical? I know of a few places that are always looking for students ready to go on residency, and because Sonora has a such a reputation for hosting international students, many of them are accustomed to English Foreign Language speakers, and some are multilingual clinics. That is, if his primary language is . . French?" Québec was kind of a give away on that front. "We may be able to find a clinic in the United States that offers multilingual services for French speaking patients. There is also the option of looking elsewhere in French-speaking Canada, or in France."

Killian had a habit of saying all the things at once. He didn't speak particularly fast, or sharply, or anything like that, but he had so many things he wanted to share with students that sometimes he forgot to let them think about what he'd already shared. He paused a moment to make a note - it wasn't something he needed to write down but it gave Dorian a moment to think - before continuing.

"There is also the option of working with a camp or sports team over the summer. Some of them travel and they need folks who are trained in medical care, and who can work with their healers, without necessarily being fully fledged healers themselves. That might be an option for learning English and getting the chance to get some distance between himself and where he's grown up, but it would mean a lot of travel, which can make seeing partners hard. Although it sounds like you two are already used to long distance? Many of our language services here go through Professor Skies, and she may have some additional resources. I can ask her about that if you prefer me to."

Killian smiled a little sympathetically. "Was that too much all at once? I'm happy to answer questions, repeat myself, or give you a minute to think."

22 Killian Row You say "complicated," I say "a challenge." 1450 0 5

Dorian Montoir

April 13, 2020 5:15 AM

That's probably because you're not directly affected by Dorian Montoir

“Oh. Yes. He finishes school this year,” Dorian confirmed, when Mr. Row asked about Jean-Loup’s age. He didn’t want to say ‘and he’s fine lying to his parents’ because that didn’t exactly paint a very positive picture of his boyfriend. Nor did he think it was particularly true. Neither of them was ‘fine’ with this. It was just something they were having to do. “Neither of us wants to keep things from our parents. But sometimes it feels like we have to,” he added.

He nodded at the mention of the McLeods.. He knew about them. It was hard not to have lived down the corridor from Kir for several years and to have not been… somewhat aware. The outside of Kir’s door had always been covered with rainbows, and pictures of people wearing them, waving flags with them on and so on. There had even been a photo of two guys kissing. Dorian had always found it strangely enticing, in a way that made him wonder just how he had remained oblivious about his own desires for so long. But it had been easy to think his eyes were drawn to it because it was strange. He had never talked to Kir about any of it. But he had seen the pamphlets in the library, and had had one, crushed down in the bottom of his trunk, under all his letters, in the place where he kept private and personal things, for a very long time.

“Yes, magical ones,” he nodded, when he asked about Jean-Loup’s training. “He worked as….” he floundered for a moment, looking confused. It wasn’t often these days that he ran into an English word he didn’t know. In fact, it was happening increasingly more often the other way around when it came to technical terms, things he’d learnt at school - he didn’t always know the French. But this was a thing that had happened at home, and he lacked the word for it in his school language. “Uh… Not a healer, but someone who helps. Who does small injuries and works in a place where there might be a lot of them. He was doing this at the ice skating during winter,” he explained, resorting to the old habit of describing the word’s meaning.

All in all, he didn’t think Jean-Loup’s qualifications were going to be a problem. He had heard positive things from his school applications after all. Still, it was reassuring to hear Mr. Row list a wealth of viable sounding options, though Dorian was not at all sure about the idea of Quidditch. Even though Jean-Loup was a Quidditch player, the word still brought to mind Matthieu and his friends, whom he could not imagine treating Jean-Loup favourably if they Found Out. For another, Dorian felt that the last thing Jean-Loup needed was to hang around any more with well-toned guys who looked far better with their shirts off than Dorian did. It was already terrifying enough to think about all the ways that he did not stack up compared to his boyfriend, without further examples being added to Jean-Loup’s expectations of what guys looked like without their shirts on…

The latter was definitely not something to bring up with Mr. Row though. Dorian would just either have to somehow actually develop muscles or convince his boyfriend that removing his clothes really wasn’t going to be as fun as he seemed to think it would be, and those were topics that he would sooner die than discuss.

The first one though… That was the real sticking point. Far more so than Jean-Loup’s credentials.

“That was good information,” he answered, when Mr. Row checked whether he needed anything repeating or needed time to think. He didn’t need it to think about the information, but he took it to think about how to formulate his question. “It sounds like there are possibilities. How do we know…” in spite of his preparation, he found himself breaking off, wanting to explain his need to ask, in case Mr. Row hadn’t thought about it like this. After all, presumably he had never had to. “Professor Brooding once said that she would never work for someone who would kick someone out of school for being….. gay,” he said, the word still needing a moment of build up. He was still able to count the number of times he’d said that out loud on his hands, although it was now taking both of them instead of just the one. “But that means there are places that would. Schools that would. Employers too. Back home…. I know they would.

“We’re not asking to like… make a big deal out of it or anything,” he added. “I just… need to know it’s safe for him. If they find out. How do we do that?”

13 Dorian Montoir That's probably because you're not directly affected 1401 0 5

Killian Row

April 13, 2020 10:15 AM

One man's challenge is another man's . . . life? by Killian Row

Finishing school this year made this all a bit more pressing, as the time to apply for internships was . . . well, it was weeks ago. But that wasn't to say there weren't any left and Killian was particularly adept at finding them. Parents were by far the harder part. "For what it's worth," Killian murmured, "you're not the only one who goes through these things with your families. We can survive hard things." He wondered for a moment if this was how Lorcan had ever felt. Granted, the issues the Row family had with Lorcan - or had had - were not so natural as sexual or romantic orientation. "I know that doesn't make it any easier, but you've done very well to start thinking about these things now, before you graduate."

Every year, and several times during the year, Professor Skies made a point of emphasizing that Killian was a guidance counselor, not a mental health counselor. That was still true, and he appreciated her emphasizing that, but it didn't make the separation any clearer. Killian could set Dorian and his boyfriend up with every internship, every contact, every post-secondary program in the world, and it wouldn't help them deal with family, or society. Those were things that only time and bravery could manage and Killian could only do his best to help develop the second of those things.

"Unfortunately," Killian said softly, "there's not always any way to know for sure. You'll get better at sensing the difference between safe and unsafe people as you interact with more folks outside of school, although it sounds like you're doing very well so far." He smiled encouragingly. "Professor Brooding and her wife have more first-hand experience than I do in that area, but from what I do know, there are ways to be discreet in finding out. I will say also that Professor Brooding is ferocious and very confident. If she found out that Sonora would kick someone out of school for being gay, she would change that. She wouldn't work for someone who discriminate because she would make them stop discriminating. Not everyone is ready or willing to be so outspoken, and that's okay too." Killian was reminded again how cool his coworkers were. "Actually, Professor Hawthorne - Tabitha - is probably even more ferocious come to think of it." He paused, imagining the horrors that would be the headmaster's office if those two heard that discrimination was happening at Sonora.

We've talked in class about how job interviews are also your chance to interview the employer and that's especially important when you are trying to sort out whether a workplace will be safe for your family. You can often ask about the employer's commitment to diversity, civil engagements or community service projects, and things like that. That will let you see what they're involved in to varying degrees. You can also consider how much you want to share with folks. If you would like to be out more publicly, you can causally mention the gender of your partner during an interview and try to read the employer's expression. If you think that you may not want to share that information in the reasonably near future and are comfortable taking a job without knowing whether they're open-minded, you don't have to mention it."

Again, the Muggles had something right. He would have loved to direct Dorian to company websites and talk about looking at statements of inclusion and diversity statements and values and such. But that wasn't a possibility for a couple of young wizards with little to no understanding of the muggle world, particularly if they wanted jobs in the wizarding one.

"That may also be something that the McLeod foundation and other organizations will have resources on. There are groups that focus on assessing the LGBTQ+ friendliness, female friendliness, or people of color friendliness of various employers."

22 Killian Row One man's challenge is another man's . . . life? 1450 0 5

Dorian Montoir

April 16, 2020 6:52 PM

Something like that by Dorian Montoir

Dorian fished in his bag, pulling out the notebook that would by now be familiar to Mr. Row. The light blue cover had been plain when purchased, but was now embossed with neat silver caligraphy which read 'Careers' and several animated rabbits which frolicked along the bottom. Inside was a rainbow of page dividers, and Dorian turned to the 'interview' section. He had brought the notebook as it seemed plausible that he would end up with information relevant to himself as well. He waved his wand, pushing the next subsection of text down so that there were more lines in 'Questions to ask employers' and did his best to translate what Mr. Row had said onto the page. Not in any sense of changing the language but just... trying to recall the words, or capture the meaning in a way that made sense for written words.

It sounded... a little complicated, but only in the way that anything he had never talked about seemed faintly intimidating and like it would need research and practise to get it right. He was well accustomed, after years of living in Pureblood society, to saying one thing but meaning another, and to reading between the lines. Perhaps it had taught him some useful skills after all. Still, he marked the notes with a little star to denote it would need examining again at a future date.

"Thank you," he nodded to the advice and closed the notebook.

"I don't know that I am good at telling," he admitted. He didn't like disagreeing with a staff member but he also couldn't take a compliment he hadn't really earnt. Plus, he didn't want to be assumed to be good at this - he wanted help actually being good at it.

"I didn't... It isn't like I thought about it when coming to school here. I didn't know... And then I found Professor Brooding, and she made it easy to talk about. I was just lucky that I ended up some place safe." And, he supposed, somewhat unlucky at home... He weighed up whether to try to explain to Mr. Row that working out that home was not a safe place had not exactly taken any great powers of insight or deductive reasoning, but he pushed it aside because that was straying far too close to the personal, which wasn't Mr. Row's job. Though it was sometimes hard to stop that getting tangled in with everything else.

"These are good starting points, thank you. And I am happy for you to discuss this with anyone you think is able to help," he added. It still felt weird for him to give teachers permission when they were... teachers, but he had learnt quite early on in this that 'I could talk to Professor Skies' was not a statement that Mr. Row was going to do that unless Dorian agreed to it. It was weird, but good weird. It was less uncomfortable granting permission to adults than feeling like they were all talking about him. "I just want that he has somewhere good. Like here."

13 Dorian Montoir Something like that 1401 0 5