A cloudy day. [Tag Zara.] on Labyrinth Gardens

Felipe De Matteo

February 26, 2020 9:29 PM

A cloudy day. [Tag Zara.] by Felipe De Matteo

The earth, it seemed, was blushing. At least, the warm pink flowers made it seem like that. Except, it was a drizzly day and a fog that had drifted into the Gardens overnight had not yet let up. Perhaps the earth was crying.

The first week of classes always went fast, but it wasn't the blink-and-it's-gone fast. Rather, it was the hold-on-for-dear-life fast. Getting back into the swing of things was as an accurate a way to say it as any; winter break was a sharp pendulum swing in the other direction and the further away it was, the further back it had to swing. Felipe had had to swing quite a ways, and he realized part way through the week that it was because he didn't have a swing to get back into. He had never been to Sonora as the person he was now, and he wasn't sure what to do with that. Did this version of Felipe like to stay up late and hang out with people? Or was he still pretty reserved?

It had been disappointing to find that this version of Felipe was still anxious about things and scared about things. He was scared about the conversation he was hoping to have soon, but that was not something he could make any easier by pondering it, so he made every effort not to. Asking Zara to meet him in the Gardens was as natural as anything else, except that she already knew. Sans his feelings about the whole thing, Felipe had written Zara a letter over break to layout the facts of what had occurred between himself, his parents, and his sister. Letters were hardly the way to have such conversations, though, and he had suggested they talk more face-to-face.

He didn't want to talk about that, though. At least, he was pretty sure he didn't want to. Perhaps this version of Felipe was still reserved after all. Ask a question, get an answer. Which, of course, was exactly why this whole thing was so scary. Felipe wore a sweater under his robes as it was still early enough in the day - and the year - to be cold out, but the neck suddenly seemed like it was much too tight. Was that normal? That was probably normal. Unless there was someone around to hex him - which wasn't entirely out of the question - then he was probably just getting nervous. Anxious.

Felipe turned at the sound of footsteps and breathed a visible sigh of relief to see Zara there. He ran a hand through his hair, surprised by the drops of fog that were clinging to it, and smiled a little, his usual sheepish expression ghosting his features.

"Hello," he said simply, closing the distance between them and wrapping her up in a hug. She even smelled like sunshine. "It's really really good to see you."

22 Felipe De Matteo A cloudy day. [Tag Zara.] 1434 1 5

Zara Jackson

February 27, 2020 5:37 AM

When life hands you clouds, make cloudade by Zara Jackson

So, Felipe had gone and done a Whole Big Thing. It all seemed pretty melodramatic, but Zara was starting to think that that was just the De Matteo way of doing things. On the one hand, they were these kind, smiling people, who had helped their son make her an elaborate sugar flower full of nativity scenes, and who had welcomed her into their home and fed her the sweetest mangoes in the world. It was hard to think of them as anything but sunny and lovely. On the other hand, Felipe kept seeming… almost afraid of the weight of his future, and whenever he talked about their expectations, they did sound kind of unreasonable. She could never decide if Felipe was exaggerating or if there was some fundamental difference at the core of their family to hers, or some even bigger horror she was yet to discover. She thought she might, on some level, be rationing herself to finding out one crazy thing about them at a time just to give herself time to deal.

She had had vague plans to write them some kind of letter, spelling out all the reasons it would be sensible to let Felipe travel first, or to power share with Leonor or… just, any of the options other than push responsibility all onto him as soon as he left school. But she hadn’t got around to it, and now he’d gone and done something extreme, and she wasn’t sure whether to be mad at him for being so rash or well… happy, she guessed. If this was actually what he wanted, then it was a good thing. His letter had been factual, and she suspected she was going to have to pull his emotions out like a dentist taking teeth.

Or was she? What was this new, liberated Felipe going to be like? She supposed that depended on whether the poker up his spine was a genetic one, inherent to his personality, or something that had been imposed and now removed… Like a corset. She suppressed a smile at the thought of him in one of those. It was hard to imagine Felipe as a rebel boy, though picturing him in a leather jacket wasn’t a bad image. The thought of him in jeans made her giggle though, and she was halfway convinced that she’d show up to find he’d only managed to let himself go as far as undoing his top button and was having a crisis over it.

But then, that was because that was what she’d known so far? Now things were different. Would he go totally off the rails? How far off the rails could one go whilst under twenty one and in a boarding school? Were they in for wild nights once they graduated though - a whirlwind of fake IDs or sneaking her cousins’ booze?

She supposed she’d see. Starting with the here and now. She made her way into the gardens, and couldn’t detect anything immediately different. Felipe was still Felipe. Buttoned up. A bit awkward. But hugging and happy to see her.

“You too,” she smiled. “Any more so than usual holiday separation?” she checked, wondering whether there was a weight on his mind (even though that was all supposed to have been lifted - it was bound to be a big change) or if he was just glad to be back.

13 Zara Jackson When life hands you clouds, make cloudade 1444 0 5

Felipe De Matteo

February 27, 2020 10:04 PM

What does that mean Gatorade is made from? by Felipe De Matteo

Felipe pulled back and looked a little closer at Zara than he felt like he had gotten to in a long time. Maybe ever. "More so than usual holiday separation," he confirmed with a smile.

Felipe had always known that Zara was beautiful. She had the sort of smile that made him want to smile, and the sort of eyes that made him think she already knew exactly what he was thinking. Except that she didn't, which was sort of better. She either didn't see right through him and still thought he was interesting enough to be around, or she saw right through him and was still patient with him. For the first time, Felipe wondered at the fact that being human could make someone beautiful. Zara was very human and very real. She was probably the realest thing he'd ever experienced in his life, and he decided right then and there that he wanted to keep experiencing that sort of life.

There were other things he needed to say though, and he'd been rehearsing them in his head for the past several weeks. He wanted very much to take advantage of his newfound freedom and that meant deciding who he was going to be. Or at least, not letting anyone else decide. He wanted to find out who he was and what that meant and he wanted to make sure he was ready for the inevitable disconnect that was just a few short years away; he was going to lose everything soon, even moreso than he already had.

Except he wasn't going to lose Zara. He was pretty confident she would not mind if he didn't take over Los Jardines de Plata and he was pretty sure she liked him better as Felipe than señor De Matteo. That was mindboggling, and he wanted to acknowledge that.

"Hey, thanks for . . . everything." He kicked his foot a little at the path, forcing himself to look away. To be human. "Thanks for putting up with me these past couple years and just . . . you're a really good friend. It means a lot." He looked up again and took a deep breath. He had a number of thoughts running through his head and his instinct was very much to keep them to himself. However, if he was going to start somewhere . . . Maybe something small would suffice? Leaving it up to her? He smiled again. "Can we do something dumb? Anything. I want to do something that I couldn't do before."

22 Felipe De Matteo What does that mean Gatorade is made from? 1434 0 5

Zara Jackson

February 29, 2020 11:26 PM

And how do they harvest the Kool for Koolaid? by Zara Jackson

It was ‘more than usual’ but he was smiling. So, hopefully that was a good sign?

“You are too,” she assured him, when he told her how good a friend she was. He often said things like this, as if she somehow had the patience of a saint for putting up with him - as if his company was something to be tolerated rather than enjoyed. In a way, she didn’t get it. She was pretty sure that the incident with Jessica proved that Zara was not someone who was going to be put up with being used like a resource, or with friendships where she couldn’t see the enjoyment factor. She therefore wasn’t hanging out with Felipe because she was some charitable person who wanted to fix others but because it was genuinely fun for her. “I hang out with you because I like to,” she reminded him again. The ‘sort of getting it’ was knowing that he seemed to have some chronic lack of confidence where, however many times she said that, he couldn’t seem to believe that the reason was because he was genuinely likeable, not because she was a great humanitarian.

And now, she supposed, whatever had been before was going to change… She found herself tensing, imperceptably, inside when Felipe asked ‘Can we do something stupid?’ It wasn’t like she hadn’t casually considered doing something stupid with him a few times. He was sort of cute and when you told him he was, he looked like he might explode, and she was sort of curious to find out what happened if she put her money where her mouth was on that. Or, possibly the other way around… But it had always been an idle thought when Felipe had been Mr. Serious, who thought that anything involving tongue was basically opening the negotiations to marriage.

It wasn’t like it hadn’t occurred to her that things might be different on that front now…

Aaaand he didn’t necessarily mean that by ‘something stupid.’ He just meant literally any less than straight laced and serious activity. Phew. She was all for ringing the changes, and she was curious about what might be able to happen now, but she wasn’t sure she wanted Felipe to turn into someone who just point blank asked her to go make out with him. Or who referred to it as ‘something stupid.’ It would have been if they’d done it before, because it didn’t really seem compatible with who he was. Now though… Was it more stupid, because it didn’t have to be serious, or less stupid because it could actually mean the same to both of them?

“Ever climbed a tree, or only sat and stared at them appreciatively?” she asked, searching her mind for a few innocent options. It was hard, being a teenager. Tree climbing sounded kind of childish, but it wasn’t like they could go driving down to Florida or go drinking. The opportunities to age-appropriately rebel were probably limited to stink pellets behind the teacher’s desk or doing things with each other. Maybe getting piercings or the like. “Or we could turn your hair bright blue or something,” she suggested with a smile. And hey, why not? It was one of the wonders of magic that, if he didn’t like it, they could undo it before anyone else saw.

“I promise to use the temporary rather than the permanent variety of Charm,” she added.

13 Zara Jackson And how do they harvest the Kool for Koolaid? 1444 0 5

Felipe De Matteo

March 02, 2020 10:01 PM

They just ask you nicely. by Felipe De Matteo

Felipe smiled a little, happy and warm and cared about. It was a nice feeling. He debated with himself for a moment to decide whether he wanted to thank her for that too, or whether he wanted to say something else at all, but he thought it may be best to just accept it. Besides, he had always been more comfortable being open with Zara, but he wasn't about to wear his heart on his sleeve and then roll them up; he needed to take some time.

As the topic turned to doing something stupid and Zara had surprisingly great suggestions, he opened his mouth and closed it again. "I'm . . . not sure," he said honestly. "I don't think I've climbed a tree for fun," he qualified. "One time a couple of summers ago, there were a couple of kids who were playing with a ball and it got stuck in a tree, so I climbed up and got it for them. They only had the one, so I didn't want it to be stuck there forever. But I didn't like . . . hang out up there."

There was a schoolyard song he'd heard when he'd been visiting schools in the United States and he was glad he hadn't remembered it before he finished talking because he probably wouldn't have been sure what to say if that was the case. That definitely wasn't what she meant, right?

The idea of dying his hair blue was a little more shocking and sort of impossible. Or maybe not that impossible. Was anything really impossible right now?

"I don't know if I want Aladren hair, but red or silver might be okay . . . " he trailed off, trying to imagine going to a meal in Cascade Hall or class and having colored hair. What would Leonor think? Did it matter what she thought? Felipe grinned at Zara. "Is that really a thing we could do? I wouldn't want to do it alone. Would you do yours too?"

22 Felipe De Matteo They just ask you nicely. 1434 0 5

Zara Jackson

March 03, 2020 3:45 AM

And they come to you to harvest smoothies by Zara Jackson

Felipe’s example of tree climbing was just… so Felipe. It was so sweet and normal but couched in all the seriousness of his sense of duty. A De Matteo did not climb trees for fun, but where the need of his people commanded it, he would oblige. She smiled softly, deciding not to embarrass him by calling attention to it, but finding it cute nonetheless.

“House pride hair sounds good,” Zara grinned, “I’m sure the other members of Crotalus couldn’t possibly object to your new look so as long as it was so appropriately coloured,” she joked.

Then he asked about doing hers, and her mouth twisted a little in thought. She had mentioned a couple of times in passing to Felipe ‘my hair is different’ or ‘my hair is special’ but she supposed she’d never gone into that in any detail – in any way that made it clearer that it wasn’t just visibly so.

“Maybe not this time around,” she admitted, “Like, I think it would be funky to get some pink or purple in there but… My hair is easy to mess up. I have to look after it a different way than white people do. And a lot of potions and charms… Well, when they’re European, they were developed by the whitest of old white dudes. I’d want to be extra sure before I let crazy white people magic near my beautiful hair. Any idea how it’d react on you?” she checked, wanting to acknowledge that Felipe was not counted amongst that number, though she’d never heard anything about Latinx hair being so different – thicker, usually, maybe, but not like… needing a fundamentally different care process due to its structure. But she wasn’t going to pretend to be an expert.

13 Zara Jackson And they come to you to harvest smoothies 1444 0 5

Felipe De Matteo

March 04, 2020 12:40 PM

Because I'm a banan-- OH because I'm smooth. Ayyy. by Felipe De Matteo

The other members of Crotalus. Jeremy and Jessica - what was it with J names? - were among that number. Felipe seriously doubted whether either of them would approach to ask about his new hair, but it did remind him that he had duties to look a certain way. Wait . . . no he didn't. He could do whatever he wanted. Crotalus or whatever didn't matter a bit. Maybe he didn't really want house pride hair after all. Perhaps green for Sonora as a whole would be better. But he wasn't about to go back on what he'd said and Zara seemed reasonably excited about it, which made it good enough for him.

"If we're really lucky, I won't have to talk to any of them because of it," he admitted with a shrug and a shy smile. He wasn't supposed to say bad things about people, even when he thought them. It was no secret to Zara that he wasn't a fan of most of his Housemates, but it felt like a big step to admit it out loud in such blatant terms.

He blushed when Zara talked about her own hair, immediately feeling bad for not remembering what she'd said before. He suspected that magic would make it a lot easier than with chemicals or things - would a color changing charm react so differently in her hair than his, or on an object that wasn't hair at all? - but he was not dumb enough to push the matter. Zara was the expert of her own hair and he took this as a chance to learn something, rather than to spit out his ideas, particularly since they weren't grounded in anything. He nodded, committing the information to memory.

"Yes, no crazy white people should touch your beautiful hair," he agreed, smirking. A sudden mental image came to mind of anybody touching her hair at all and he was surprised by the strength of his desire to hex them for it. What would it feel like to touch somebody's hair, anyway? Or if someone touched his hair? She asked a question at the same time as he had the last of these thoughts, which drew his attention back to the conversation.

He ran a hand through his hair, one of the first times he'd done so when it was relevant to a conversation he was having, and shrugged again. "I have no idea." He blinked. "I never thought about it before. We can find out! At worst, I'll just be kind of bald for a while." There were worse things in life to be than bald, he decided.

22 Felipe De Matteo Because I'm a banan-- OH because I'm smooth. Ayyy. 1434 0 5

Zara Jackson

March 06, 2020 7:02 PM

Maybe in more ways than one soon by Zara Jackson

“Fingers crossed,” Zara grinned when Felipe asserted the hope that his housemates might be so appalled that they stopped talking to him. That told her all she needed to know about how it was going patching things up with Jessica. It wasn’t. She didn’t want Felipe to end up an outsider in his own house, not in a way that made him vulnerable, but the further he distanced himself from them, the better, she thought. He had never struck her as being particularly like them, and she wanted him to realise that, as much as she wanted him to realise he was good and sweet and nice.

She was slightly surprised when he said he would put up with going bald. She didn’t think it would go that badly wrong, but was surprised he was that cavalier about it.

“We’re really doing this then?” she asked. There possibly should have been other considerations to make. Whether this was safe to use on anyone’s hair. Whether the school had a dress code against it. But Zara wasn’t the type to over-analyse, or to look at things from every angle. It felt like Felipe was kind of throwing down the gauntlet, and she wasn’t going to be the first to back down or decide this had been a joke or that it needed further research. “What colour and where?” she asked.

13 Zara Jackson Maybe in more ways than one soon 1444 0 5

Felipe De Matteo

March 08, 2020 1:19 PM

Let's hope for the best. by Felipe De Matteo

Felipe thought that maybe Zara was surprised. He wasn't sure whether it was good or bad to surprise her, but he was sure that he felt pretty good about it. It had been a while since he'd actually felt really good about something, and he found that he wanted to do that more often. Maybe that would be a good new goal; finding little ways to surprise Zara would be fun for sure.

He found himself nodding, despite being not entirely sure what he was getting himself into. Did they even have the level of magic skill required to do this? He was pretty sure he'd seen an older girl with colorful hair before, but he didn't know how she'd done it. He had a mental image of them walking into Professor Wright's office and asking for some help with a color changing charm, and then just pointing at his own head when the professor asked what they needed it for.

"Yes, let's do it," Felipe said, hearing himself more than he actually thought it in his head. "Crotalus would be red, but I don't know how good I'd look with red. What color do you recommend?" He looked around the Gardens for a moment, wondering where they were supposed to do something like this. "I have no idea where," he said. "I don't actually know how to change hair color. Just charms? You said potions and stuff might work? I've never seen someone color their hair."

22 Felipe De Matteo Let's hope for the best. 1434 0 5

Zara Jackson

March 08, 2020 9:41 PM

It'll be fine by Zara Jackson

“Both are options,” Zara confirmed, when Felipe mentioned charms and potions. Professor Brooding had, after all, had them make hair dye once. Or had it as an option. One which Zara had passed on in favour of something else. Potions were more something that was theoretically out there than something she was going to apply right this minute.

“I’d vote charms. No muss, no fuss. We know how to do colour changing charms. We could do it right here, right now,” she pointed out. Which brought them onto her next question, which Felipe was adorably misinterpreting, looking around for a suitable spot. “Oh, I meant where in your hair. Like, all over or just some streaks? Maybe like, a flash across the front?” she suggested.

“I think blue would suit you, but that looks weird, house-wise.” It was unfortunate that most of the basic colours were taken by house symbolism. Pink, purple, orange or green were available. The latter two she couldn’t quite see in Felipe’s hair. The former she thought might look genuinely good, but she suspected he was in for enough teasing about this without them going for bright pink. And yes, boys could and should get to like pink too (and hadn’t one first year showed up with pink hair this year?) but Zara wasn’t Ness. It was not her undying quest to mess with all the gender norms, and she would prioritise Felipe getting mildly less punished by his peers over Sticking It To The Man. “Unless we went for like… a more bright, turquoise-y one so it didn’t look too Aladren-ish. I think red could be nice on you as well, but are you leaning away from showing your undying love for Crotalus?” she teased.

13 Zara Jackson It'll be fine 1444 0 5

Felipe De Matteo

March 09, 2020 7:16 PM

Something has to be at some point. by Felipe De Matteo

Felipe nodded, understanding and agreement leading his actions until Zara pointed out his misunderstanding and he blushed instead. "Oh," he said simply. "That makes more sense."

Truth be told, he hadn't considered the fact that he didn't have to do all of his hair. It would be sort of nice to keep some of it, and it would be a little less aggressive as far as changes went. The whole idea of coloring his hair felt right. It felt like the sort of thing he could get into and keep up for a long time. But first he had to make some decisions.

"Maybe just the top? Or the front?" He ran his hand through his hair. It wasn't terribly long, but it wasn't short enough to see his scalp through it either. Did that matter? "Blue does sound better than red," he admitted. "And Crotalus is... There are other colors." He tried to think of all the colors in the world. The first one that came to mind was yellow because Zara was a yellow sort of personality, but that would probably look weird. There were plants and flowers all over. Pinks and purples and milky blues, and a whole lot of green. But he didn't necessarily want to look like algae was growing out of his head either.

"I like those colors," he said, gesturing non-committally at the flowerbeds. "Yellow would look funny. Turquoise sound fine too. What do you think?" He cocked his head. "You're going to have to be the one to do it," he pointed out. "Surprise me."

22 Felipe De Matteo Something has to be at some point. 1434 0 5

Zara Jackson

March 18, 2020 7:58 AM

Ta-da! by Zara Jackson

Turquoise would look fine. They were so close to a decision. And then he had to go and spoil it. It really was a shame, because she was becoming more and more convinced that turquoise would be a great colour, but now he’d said ‘surprise me,’ right after suggesting it. And well, that wouldn’t be very surprising any more now, would it?

The trouble was, that left Zara trying to think of another colour. One they hadn’t already mentioned. And there really weren’t that many. She would probably have to pick some shade of something they’d covered. Just which….

“Okay,” she smiled, when she had reached her decision, “Come here,” she instructed, reaching up to run her fingers through Felipe’s hair, like he was every romantic movie heroine that she could never be. And didn’t really want to be - it just would have been nice to have that not portrayed as the only desirable quality for hair to be. Felipe’s was nice though - it was soft and thick. She tugged the front section away from the rest, carefully flicking her wand over it and casting the colour changing charm.

“Transfigure yourself a mirror and be surprised,” she grinned, stepping back to admire the silver and magenta streaks she’d put through the front of his hair. “It looks good,” she offered, trying not to alarm him by sounding too surprised.

13 Zara Jackson Ta-da! 1444 0 5

Felipe De Matteo

March 25, 2020 8:30 PM

You look ni-- it looks nice. by Felipe De Matteo

Nobody had ever touched Felipe's hair before. He ran his own fingers through it often enough that it was rarely in his face, and his mother wouldn't have done much to it since he was very little. It had been important that he learned how to make himself presentable, and so there was no need for anyone to touch his hair. It felt . . . nice. It was different than when he ran his own fingers through his hair.

He felt like he was seeing something he wasn't supposed to see when he stooped a little for Zara to reach his hair, and then looked up at her. She was doing so much for him. She always did. But there she was, her hand in his hair, her wand in her other hand, and her eyes focused on the task she had set out to accomplish. The earth was spinning and Felipe had slowed down just long enough to catch a glimpse of a beautiful person doing a beautiful thing.

It wasn't the first time Felipe had thought this about Zara. Or people in general. He had once let himself think that Jessica was very pretty, too. One time, they were sitting together and he said something that he didn't mean to be funny but which must have been because she laughed very hard and Felipe had wondered what it would be like if he was sitting a little closer. Would the world feel a little warmer? But that was a lifetime ago, and there had never been anyone in the world so warm as Zara.

It wasn't as if he'd never thought about the fact that Zara was a girl. Sometimes, he even thought about . . . like, stuff. But Zara was not going to move to Mexico with him to lead the people of Ciudad De Matteo, so it had never been more than a passing question in his mind. Now, none of that mattered and Zara seemed very present and very . . . well, beautiful.

The moment passed. Zara had finished and withdrawn, but she was smiling brilliantly. He found himself smiling, too. Forcing himself to pull his eyes away from Zara's face, he bent down again to pick up another rock and transfigured it into a mirror, tilting it at a funny angle so he could see the top of his head in it. On the whole, he didn't particularly like looking at himself in the mirror. He made a point of not doing so unless absolutely necessary, and fixing his hair had been necessary often enough that he could angle it in the right spot without ever having to see the whole of his face at once. When he did so, he saw pinkish purplish and silver in his hair. He gaped, surprised indeed.

Zara said it looked good, and he realized how much he trusted her judgment when he immediately decided that it must look good if she said so. He lowered the mirror and looked at Zara again, a grin spreading as the adrenaline of doing something that would be completely inappropriate just weeks previously set in. "I love it," he told her, pushing other thoughts out of his mind until he had more time to reflect on them. "Thank you so much for doing that. You did a really good job."

22 Felipe De Matteo You look ni-- it looks nice. 1434 0 5