Achy breaky heart. on Magical Arts Room and Sports

Joella Curtis

August 06, 2016 3:49 PM

Achy breaky heart. by Joella Curtis

Since returning to school several days after Will’s funeral, Joella had busied herself even more than usual to keep her mind off things. She had quite a bit of catch up work from all the lessons she had missed, not to mention an abundance of homework she had been planning on completing before she was unexpectedly whisked out of Sonora with the terrible news.

Joella was able to keep up with her Quidditch practices and general team fitness schedule despite being buried under a whole lot of work because she was ever so determined to thrash Aladren in the final match when it came around. The extra training she did in her own time that wasn’t quite so necessary, however, was forced to sit on the backburner until she had caught up completely. She needed to be on track for her CATS no matter what.

It was exhausting trying to fit so much in but Joella worked harder than ever, minimalising her social endeavours greatly. The most she got to hang about chatting was if she had prefect duties with someone else and even then she hadn’t been all that great at being on time for that recently.

Finally caught up with the work she’d missed and the magnitude of homework she had been well behind on, the Pecari felt relieved and able to relax again. She kept in touch with her family with letters more frequent than ever and was at the point where she could come to terms with Will’s death a little more, at least as much so that she could smile sometimes when she thought of him and not always find herself tearing up. There was only so much she could relax, of course, since the CATS exams were not all that far away but Joella was at least able to resume her more regular schedule and focus on preparing herself for the Quidditch finals.

One evening when she was free, the fifth year changed in her dormitory and made her way down to the MARS rooms. Keen to get back into full training mode, she wanted to start up her boxing again. Ever since Jax had first introduced her to the sport, she had tried to incorporate it into her routine as much as possible as she found it very beneficial. She was now confident enough to do a certain amount herself but had rather enjoyed having Jax about. Even though he did his own thing, it was nice to have someone more knowledgeable giving her pointers and just the presence of another person somehow motivated her to work even harder.

Joella hadn’t joined Jax for boxing for a couple of weeks but it was always touch and go whether she ended up working out at the same time as him or not anyway. He didn’t seem to have a strict schedule like she did, probably because he didn’t have as much other types of training like she did for Quidditch. Today she was feeling rather nervous and a large part of her was hoping he wouldn’t be around. She knew he usually worked out at lunchtimes so there was a chance she could have the sports room all to herself, unless today had to be one of those days that he decided to do it in the evening instead.

When she entered, the room was all set up for boxing but Joella didn’t think anything of it. That’s what she had come here for and she knew the room that Jax used well enough for it to create the exact same thing. Joella did have a slight doubt that maybe Jax had set it up himself but there was no sign of him so, after warming up, the fifth year slipped her gloves on and got to work.

There was something about boxing that Joella found strangely soothing, like it released all sorts of unwanted negative feelings. She usually appeared very cheerful to pretty much everyone and had felt so up until her father’s arrival at Sonora and the news that he’d brought with him but these days, underneath all the smiles and laughter, there was way too much negativity for her liking - stress, anger, grief, jealousy... the whole lot.

Joella’s fists jabbed furiously against one of the punch bags, hot tears springing to her eyes but she blinked them back. She had set herself a time limit so stopped accordingly and glanced to the door, not that she hoped Jax was coming or anything (obviously). It seemed he had already arrived, however, and she was surprised she had not noticed him enter. The fifth year had clearly been more worked up with letting her emotions out through her punches than she had realised. But in all honesty, she thought to herself, punching was better than crying - the former was good for one’s health whilst the latter just resulted in a red puffy face and a searing headache.

“Hi,” she forced a smile but it was unconvincing and she realised now that her feelings of jealousy were nothing compared to her feelings of hurt.

It wasn’t long after she had returned that Emmy-Lou had informed her of Jax’s ball status. There had been much more on her mind at the time but that didn’t mean she wasn’t affected by it. She and Emmy had grown apart in the past few years but sharing their grief had reunited them and they had spent a long time catching up and talking like best friends should. Joella had spoken of her feelings for Jax, among other things, but had found Emmy’s revelations more surprising. Therefore her old friend had felt an obligation to tell her that Jax was going to the ball with Laila Kennedy.

Joella knew she shouldn’t be affected by it since she made the decision to go with Lionel rather than him but the fact that she thought she’d been doing Jax a favour by that had actually been a part of her reasoning. But now Jax, who she thought would not be remotely interested in the midsummer ball, had asked Laila Kennedy to be his date. It was sickening. Joella knew the two of them were friends but that didn’t stop her jealousy and assuredness that Jax liked Laila (why else would he bother asking a girl to the ball?). Laila was pretty and she thought she should have seen it coming but it was clear now that a part of her, a very stupid part of her, had thought that maybe Jax would return something of the feelings she had for him. Now it was clear that wouldn’t happen.

The fifth year didn’t hold it against Laila, although she was admittedly jealous, because she couldn’t blame the younger girl if she too was interested in Jax. Emmy had pointed out that Laila was just a thirteen year old and Joella being older gave her significant advantages in attractiveness but it didn’t help and Joella knew she wasn’t naturally pretty, not in the way that the likes of Laila and her Greek Goddess friend were anyway.

“I hear lots happened whilst I was away,” Joella tried to be casual, pick up conversation but she felt uncharacteristically awkward because it had been awhile since she’d seen Jax alone like this.

The Aladren probably wouldn’t have picked up on her subtle dig but she wasn’t sure how to bring up the subject, or whether she even should. Surely Jax knew she liked him by now? Joella wasn’t known for being discreet.

8 Joella Curtis Achy breaky heart. 295 Joella Curtis 1 5

Jax Donovan

August 09, 2016 6:04 PM

I just don't think <i>I</i> understand by Jax Donovan

Jax had started to change up his workout routine. In the early morning, he began to run regularly through the gardens. Sometimes he would see others in there with the same idea, but he did very little to acknowledge them. He always felt rejuvenated whenever he ran in the morning and had a more positive attitude as he went to his classes (not that people were likely to tell as his disposition never changed). Since he started running in the morning, he opted to do his boxing in the evening and during his lunch he would have a quick bite to eat before heading to the library to have a jump start on his homework or studying (unless his friends had other plans, of course).

It was a routine that he was growing accustomed to and rather enjoyed. Most people were off socializing, so he typically had the room to himself and believed that would still remain the case even after he had to run back to his dorm room because he had left his tape there that he needed to tape up his hands. He was surprised to find Joella in the room when he had returned. He had assumed that she had found some other form of exercise to do since she hadn’t joined him for a while, but it seemed boxing was on her mind that evening.

She hadn’t seemed to notice him enter, too consumed with her punches to have heard him, so he chose to not say anything as he didn’t want to distract her from her concentration. Jax taped up his hands and began his own boxing routine on a bag not far from where Joella was working. He worked silently in the room with her, enjoying the company again.

He had been working at it at full speed for a while, enough so that he glistened with perspiration and his arms were beginning to feel the effects of the punches. He stopped, however, when he saw Joella pause and turn. He grabbed his towel from his bag to wipe his face when she greeted him, but the smile that accompanied it was not one that he was used to seeing from her. He wasn’t sure what he would call his relationship with her, not quite friends, but more than acquaintance. He at least thought he knew her well enough to know when she was in some form of distress, but not comfortable enough to really ask her what was wrong (that was more of an issue with him than their friendship). “Hey.” He responded back casually, although his brows were knotted in concern as he looked at her, acknowledging her discomfort.

He frowned at her comment, unsure as to what she was referring to. The only things he had been hearing about was about the dance and he didn’t care enough to listen to that. He only cared about the fact that Gia was going with Chuck, who was a nice guy, and not with Barnaby, who was nothing more than a nasty parasite who fed off other people’s misery. He had heard that Joella had gotten a date with Lionel, which he was pleased with, although he would have gone with her if she had asked and dealt with the dance part, just as he was going to do with Laila.

“Has there been?” Jax asked her. “That’s news to me.” He answered with a shrug. He hesitated for a moment before speaking up again, “I’m sorry about your loss that your family has suffered.” Jax had lost his father around the time of his fifth birthday. It had been over ten years but the loss and paid from his father’s death was always present and he felt it deeply. He could definitely empathize with her loss. “Do you need me to do anything for you?” He asked.

6 Jax Donovan I just don't think <i>I</i> understand 296 Jax Donovan 0 5

Joella

August 14, 2016 12:01 PM

Have you ever tried to? by Joella

Joella was somewhat irritated when Jax’s nonchalance surpassed her own. She did consider that he might be doing it on purpose, but it was also very much in her mind that Jax might not be very perceptive when it came to girls and what games they were playing. The fifth year didn’t actually know what she’d expected him to say other than what did come out of his mouth but it made her nonetheless frustrated because it told her that if she wanted information she was going to have to come right out and ask for it directly - no games.

It did occur to the Pecari that she may have managed to work herself into one of those stupid love triangles, only that all involved were not yet aware of the fact. But if that was the case, was she just the spare part who nobody really wanted? That wasn’t a nice thought at all but it did make her realise that maybe she should prepare herself for a point where she’d just have to step down and accept the unwelcome fact that she wasn’t going to get what she wanted.

Joella couldn’t remain mad at Jax for very long, however, because he went on to address her loss and sympathize, causing the earlier moisture in her eyes to spring forward again. “Thank you,” she said simply, a hand hurrying to wipe one eye before a threatening tear had the chance to make its way down her face in a telltale manner. Joella knew that those aware of her loss would probably understand her currently fragile emotional state but she tried to contain herself around others anyway because she didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or drain good moods. The fifth year didn’t like the idea of people treading carefully around her, knowing it would only make it harder to get on with things. “No, no,” spoke Joella softly, shaking her head a little, surprised but grateful that Jax would ask if he could help in any way, glad to know that he was looking out for her after all. “But thank you,” she said again, before turning back to her punch bag briefly to take a hard swing at it, in a controlled movement the way Jax had taught her.

The fifth year wanted to move on from the upsetting topic of conversation as quickly as possible, although she was certainly very grateful towards Jax for his acknowledgement of the turn things had taken for her since they were last together, so she said the first thing that came to her mind.

“I hear you asked Laila to the ball?” It was technically just a statement but the way that Joella spoke made it sound more like a question, the marginally affronted tone of her voice probably sounding rather demanding of an answer. Perhaps she noticed this, or at least had some regret for bringing up such trivia, because her tone changed to a much lighter one immediately after. “I must say, I didn’t have you down as the ball type,” she forced another smile.

She had wondered if maybe Gia had something to do with Jax’s current ball situation and certainly hoped this be the case because it sounded a whole lot better than Jax’s affection for Laila being so strong he even wanted to go to a ball just to be with her. Joella did enjoy a good gossip, as most of her friends were likely aware, but she didn’t want Jax thinking that was all there was to her. Nevertheless, it was too late now - she’d brought up the ball just as she thought she had wanted, and Jax’s response would clarify as to whether or not she should have wanted to bring it up.

8 Joella Have you ever tried to? 295 Joella 0 5

Jax

August 14, 2016 9:47 PM

I think it's best to stay out of it. by Jax

His comment had meant to be one of comfort and perhaps it had been, but the reaction that he was watching occur on Joella made him feel as though he had said something wrong. He felt an urge to hug her as a means to stop her from possibly crying (which he assumed she was doing as she rubbed at her eye). His mother and Gia appreciated hugs when they cried, so he assumed it was a girl thing and if it meant preventing Joella from doing so, he would do it.

But it turned out that he didn’t need to. She seemed to get herself put back together rather quickly, to which he was rather grateful for. Jax was not the best when it came to emotional responses. It was one thing to comfort his family and another girl whom he had only really just started to get to know. He felt that the whole moment ended rather lamely though because she quickly turned around and began to punch the bag once more (although he was delighted to see that she had paid attention to him when he told her how to correctly punch the bag).

Jax thought about going back to his own punches, but Joella’s next commented had him pausing with a somewhat surprised reaction to his face, however, with Joella at her bag, she wasn’t likely to catch the reaction on his face unless she was studying his face in great detail. “Uh, actually, Laila asked me to the ball.” Jax corrected her, feeling like it was important to make that distinction. “And they aren’t my thing, but she’s my friend and didn’t want to go alone, so I agreed to go.” He wasn’t exactly sure why Joella was interested in the fact that he was going with Laila or why her first statement seemed to be slightly aggressive tone and he really didn’t know why he felt the need to explain himself either.

“I heard you were going with Lionel.” He countered. He honestly didn’t care that she was going with him as they were both Prefects and definitely had to dance that first dance with everyone watching. But since she had pointed out his date, he felt like he should also mention that he had heard about her own. “He seems like a nice guy.” He added, which might be true. Jax actually hadn’t really heard much about Lionel, if he were being honest about things.

6 Jax I think it's best to stay out of it. 296 Jax 0 5

Joella

August 21, 2016 4:59 AM

Too late, you're in it. by Joella

“Oh,” was all Joella said at first when Jax spoke about his ball date situation in more detail than she had heard through gossip, hence her mistake in assuming he had done the asking. She seemed to deflate a little, perhaps with relief because that was quite truthfully how she felt when Jax revealed that he hadn’t actually asked Laila to the ball as it had happened the other way around. The way he then continued to explain the reason behind his acceptance of Laila’s request, including his labelling her as a friend, was all the more reassuring. The trouble with Jax was that he seemed so oblivious to Joella’s feelings for him that he most likely hadn’t indicated that Laila was only a friend to put her mind at rest, but merely because that’s what they currently were.

One thing that did puzzle Joella was why Laila hadn’t asked anyone else, if she felt so confident to be the one doing the asking despite that not be very traditional. Nor did she understand why Laila hadn’t been asked by anyone for that matter - she was pretty and friendly so Joella imagined she must be quite popular with the boys in her year. Yet she had chosen Jax and that suggested that, even if Jax was unaware of it, Laila probably did like him too.

Joella was even more at a loss of what to make of things when Jax mentioned the fact that she was going to the ball with Lionel. Did he know more about her feelings towards him than he let on? If not then why was he pointing out her own ball date as though to make an excuse, to point out why he wasn’t going with her. He didn’t seem bothered by it at all though but that was never Jax’s style and Joella knew she was reading way too much into things. She had to face up to the fact that Jax Donovan just didn’t care and it was always going to be that way. If he hadn’t picked up on all those looks she gave him and what they meant, that was only because he didn’t care to know.

“Yeah, he’s really nice,” the Pecari agreed with Jax’s comment about Lionel, which was very true. But she couldn’t find it in herself to be any more enthusiastic because she knew it would be wasted on Jax - he’d never get jealous.

“So you don’t like Laila?” Joella could not drop the subject, however much she knew she should, and was aware she was really beginning to give the game away now. “You’re just friends? Nothing more?”

8 Joella Too late, you're in it. 295 Joella 0 5

Jax

August 21, 2016 8:40 PM

I'm sorry, it was not my intention. by Jax

Jax did not understand Joella or this conversation. She seemed angry with him for going to the ball with Laila and he found that to be a little unfair. He had to wonder if she were mad because Gia had said that she had offered Jax up as a date to the older Pecari and now he was going with someone else. But if he remembered correctly, Joella was already going with Lionel when Jax agreed to go with Laila, so there was no reason for her to be upset about that. Maybe she didn't like Laila? But that didn't seem right either as both girls never seemed hostile with one another whenever Jax was around them.

Her simple ‘oh’ made him question why any of it mattered anyway. It was just a school dance. It did not define the rest of their lives. Sure he understood on a level that there were people going that formed a relationship from that moment, but that was not Jax or Laila. They were just friends going to a dumb school dance together. He thought it was stupid how crazy people were becoming over it.

His mother had told him over the midterm break that girls took dances like these to feel like princesses, which is why she had spent so much money on Gia’s dress for the ball. Girls wanted to feel beautiful and desired by those they are attracted to. They wanted to be asked or rather, they wanted to know someone thought they were special enough to be asked. That was partly why he agreed to go with Laila. She had seemed so down about it all and he didn't want her to feel bad about not having been asked. She would get another shot come her seventh year, so hopefully it will go better for her. Knowing that Gia was asked by Chuck also made him feel better about it because he knew she would have been upset if she hadn't been asked.

Joella had been asked and Jax assumed she had her moment of feeling wanted by someone, so why the fuss?

Her next question answered that riddle for him. Perhaps he was a bit thick for having not realized it sooner, but he had never considered himself one of those guys that ladies would like. He was suddenly reminded of a conversation he had had with Gia and his feelings towards the females in this school. He had to wonder if she had known all along.

His face remained blank as he thought about what to do. He didn't want to hurt her in any way but he also didn't think he was in a position to be the person she wanted him to be. Not now anyway. Jax liked Joella. He knew that she was fun to be around and if he thought he was good enough for her, he might have done something about it. But he wasn't all that great of a person. He was barely a person.

“I like her as a friend.” He finally answered. “We are only friends.” He added. He slowly unwrapped the tape from his hands as he thought over what to say next. “I am not in a position to do anything more than like someone as a friend. I'm… sorry.” He looked a little sorrowful as he said that last part, looking at her, hoping that she understood that it had nothing to do with her but with him. Maybe that would change, but considering what he was, he wasn't sure that was possible.

6 Jax I'm sorry, it was not my intention. 296 Jax 0 5

Joella

August 23, 2016 1:47 PM

I can see that. by Joella

She’d done it. Joella had just been obvious enough for Jax to finally cotton on. Now that she had reached this point, however, the fifth year wasn’t so sure why she had wanted him to know. He didn’t like Laila but he didn’t like her either and that just got Joella wondering who did he like?

Jax seemed to be trying to let her down gently but the words he spoke sounded like such lies. They just made no sense whatsoever. Joella thought she would’ve actually preferred it if the Aladren had been more upfront with her (not that she could really complain because she hadn’t been remotely upfront about her feelings for him in the first place) rather than suggesting that he wasn’t in any position to like anyone right now.

The Pecari had half a mind to give a disbelieving snort in response to his excuse but she restrained herself because Jax was clearly trying to be kind and she’d get nothing from being rude in return.

“It’s okay. I know,” was her initial response before she realised that he hadn’t directly told her he didn’t like her like that so that was not an appropriate response. “I mean, I underst-” she corrected hastily, only to cut herself off because that again was replying to something he hadn’t actually said.

The words that he had said were much harder to respond to properly because she didn’t understand them at all. It made perfect sense that he wouldn’t think of her as more than a friend but that he saw no one else as such just seemed unlikely.

Joella turned her head away for a brief moment to collect her thoughts before looking back at him with a purposefully unreadable expression. She found herself surprisingly confident despite her current situation in which she had imagined she’d feel more vulnerable than anything. That was part of growing up, she supposed.

“Look, you needn’t apologise, Jax. I get it that you’re not interested - in me,” Joella couldn’t stop herself from resorting to talking openly and giving him more or less the truth. “But you don’t have to pretend that you’re not interested in anyone. I appreciate that you’re trying to be nice and all but I just want you to be clear - I’m not expecting anything from you so you don’t need to be careful of my feelings.”

“I guess I just want to make sure that you don’t,” she paused because she didn’t want to sound super egotistical by suggesting that Jax actually gave her this much consideration, “that you don’t, I don’t know, feel guilty about liking other girls or, like, being open with that when I’m around.”

Joella wasn’t really a part of Jax’s friendship group but she was definitely friends with the particular key people she knew that he hung out with most of the time. What she was trying to get across to him was not to tell her that, at the age of fifteen, he was not interested in girls, whether such girls included her or not. She wanted him to be comfortable about potentially dating girls that she might well be friends with or at least see him with. It wasn’t that the Pecari thought she was so special to him that he would let her stand in the way of his wishes but it couldn’t be denied that Jax was mindful of her feelings right now and that suggested he had to feel bad to some degree.

8 Joella I can see that. 295 Joella 0 5