Jennifer Zucchero
January 13, 2007 11:54 PM
Being the bigger person [tag:Jake] by Jennifer Zucchero
This was getting ridiculous. It was already a couple of months into term, and Jennifer and Jake hadn't so much as spoken since their big blow-up in muggle studies. Normally, Jennifer would have had no problem with just saying it was all Jake's fault, and she didn't have any responsiblity in fixing his stupid mistakes, but the situation had gone too far for even her and her wounded pride to handle. Either that, or her wounded pride just couldn't take anymore.Actually, while her pride was no doubt a big part of it, there was an even more basic reason for her finally realizing that enough was enough; she didn't like being mad at others or having them be mad at her. Generally, she thought of herself as a nice person, one who got along with almost everybody, and she couldn't ever remember having someone be angry enough as to not acknowledge her existence for any period of time before. It was a decidedly uncomfortable feeling.
As far as her own feelings went, she wasn't even sure she was still angry for what Jake had said. While she'd been outraged at the time, there was no denying that there was a great deal of truth in everything he told her. So she didn't really have a leg to stand on anymore.
She realized there probably wasn't any chance of anything beyond friendship happening between the two of them now, if there ever had been. And she would be a liar if she tried to convince herself that it didn't matter to her. But right now, she was willing to accept whatever she could get. First and foremost, he'd been her good friend for five years, and frankly, she missed him just as someone she felt she could always talk to.
So that's why she had gotten to Cascade far too early for common sense on a Saturday morning. She'd gotten a few strange looks from a couple people, since she hadn't even bothered to eat anything, and was just sitting there pretending to read a book, but Jennifer didn't really care. Obviously, he wasn't going to be the one to take the first step, but eventually he'd have to come down for breakfast, and then she'd be able to get him. And, even if he did decide to still be angry, she could then absolve herself from any blame. All in all, a decidedly good plan.
\n\n
0
Jennifer Zucchero
Being the bigger person [tag:Jake]
48
Jennifer Zucchero
1
5
Jake Santoro
January 14, 2007 11:23 AM
Yeah sure, make yourself look good. by Jake Santoro
The one downside to being a fifth year for Jake was that no matter how much time he put aside for work, it still just kept piling up. It was an important year for him and he knew what was expected of him from his family. If he didn't get a passing in most of his classes, then he wasn't likely to do much of anything for the rest of his life. Of course, when his mother made that threat, Jake didn't take her lightly.So, if anyone really cared to wonder why Jake was up earlier than usual on a Saturday morning, Jake would let them think whatever. Some might just assume that he was up early for Quidditch practice, but most Tepps probably knew by now that Jake spent most of his Saturdays when he wasn't practicing Quidditch, in the commonroom working on homework assignments and putting a few hours in to studying.
And when he wasn't studying, Jake was out in the gardens running lapse, or out on the pitch smacking around a bludger or two. He had a lot of energy to use up, might as well use it conditioning his body.
Jake wandered into the Hall, his hair still touseled from sleep, eyes still blinking to focus on where he was going. Midway to his table, Jake had to stop to stretch and yawn. He was not a morning person, nor was he much of a studier, but he had to do what needed to be done academicly. Besides, if he kept busy, he wasn't allowed to think of other things.
Sitting at a table, Jake hunched over his food and slowly began to eat. If he ate slowly, he wouldn't have to go back to his house and study. Or, at least, that was how he saw the logic behind it all. Of course, he also knew that if he ate quickly, he could get the studying done faster and then have time to do other things...like run lapse.
Man, his life had grown steadily pathetic over the last couple of months.\n\n
6
Jake Santoro
Yeah sure, make yourself look good.
42
Jake Santoro
0
5
Jennifer
January 15, 2007 10:57 PM
Is there something wrong with that? by Jennifer
For all her big talk, even if it was only to herself, Jennifer still seriously considered just forgetting about the whole thing when Jake actually came in. She told herself that it wasn't that she didn't want to have to deal with everything, or that she was worried (even if both of those were partially true, but beside the point), it was just...surprise. She hadn't expected him to be down here so early. For some reason, he'd never struck her as a morning person. Yet, obviously, she wasn't the best judge of character at times, so that really didn't mean much.Deciding that it was probably better to just get it over with before her last-second doubts got the better of her (or before her common sense returned), Jennifer made her way inconspicuously over to table the Teppenpaw had sat at.
"Hey, Jake," she said brightly, far more so than she felt, taking a seat beside him. Without pausing to allow him to return the greeting, or ask her to leave, she continued, "It's been a while since we talked, and, you know, I just...wanted to apologize, if you even still care, for the whole argument in muggle studies. The things I said- they weren't true, and I'm really sorry if you were hurt by them.
"Also, since I should have corrected your assumption then and there, Lizzie probably misinformed you about Felipe, which I wouldn't put past her. He's really just a friend. I mean, we did date briefly at one point last summer, but that's it. And even if I was still dating him, that would be no reason for me to completely abandon you like you seemed to think I would. I'm rather hurt that you would think I would do something like that. But, anyway, I'm just sorry for it all."
She was babbling. That had to be a sign of something really being wrong. Jennifer Zucchero did not babble. She generally didn't talk enough for any sort of babbling to be done. She actually wasn't entirely sure what all she'd said, since she'd just blurted it all out (another sign that something was wrong with her). Still, she'd said it all so quickly that she doubted Jake would have managed to pick up on it all, if any of it, so no harm done. Hopefully. Anyway, now her part in the reconciliation attempt was done, and all she could do was wait for for the boy sitting next to her to say something.
\n\n
0
Jennifer
Is there something wrong with that?
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
January 16, 2007 10:03 PM
No, none at all.... by Jake
Jake, who had been busy getting his food and keeping himself awake, was completely surprised by the arrival from the one girl he had been avoiding for the entire first half of the school year. He stared at her for a long moment and continued to stare at her as though she had completely gone mental.She was talking to him, greeting him, as though nothing had happened. Granted, it had been a while since their fight, but Jake wasn't exactly sure where the two of them still stood. What surprised him even more was the fact that she was apologizing to him about it all. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or something worse by it.
As Jennifer spoke, the corners of Jake's mouth twitched. They were threatening to form his lips into a frown. Sure, some of the things she had said had really bothered him, but it wasn't like he hadn't said anything mean either. In the end though, Jake didn't really think Jennifer understood exactly the reasoning behind his whole attitude about Felipe. And that thought both exhausted him and saddened him.
But, in the end, Jake wasn't so sure he had the strength to be angry or much else these days. Not to mention the fact that whenever he was near Jennifer, that weird empty nervous feeling was making itself at home in the pit of his stomach, was not an unpleasant feeling to have for him.
"Yeah." Jake finally said once Jennifer finished her ramble. "I didn't mean anything by what I said either. I was just mad." Jake replied. Was he still mad? A bit. But it was time to just let things rest. Being angry got him no where anyway.
He shrugged slightly. Unlike Jennifer, who seemed to ramble when she was apologizing, Jake had a hard time just getting his mouth to work with his brain. "Sorry." Jake took a chance to glance over at Jennifer, but looked away again after a moment. "Let's just forget it ever happened, alright?"\n\n
6
Jake
No, none at all....
42
Jake
0
5
Jennifer
January 21, 2007 3:46 PM
So why were you being critical? by Jennifer
Well, he appeared to have forgiven her. That had to mean something, Jennifer told herself as she watched Jake. True, he hadn’t seemed all that enthusiastic about it, but she hadn’t really been expecting him to be. She might have hoped otherwise (or, at the very least, that he’d have said something in response to her not dating Felipe, since he’d been so irritable about the subject the last time they’d talked), but, at the moment, Jennifer was perfectly content with the two of them not fighting any more.She murmured an agreement to Jake’s notion that they just forget about the whole thing, and then paused. Just what was she supposed to say now? ‘so, how’ve you been since we last spoke, where we had a fight because you were being snippy about the boyfriend that I wasn’t dating and you don’t seem to care about anymore?’ didn’t seem to cut it. The point was not to get into another argument as soon as they’d laid the previous one to rest. Besides, if they were just going to do as Jake requested, and both forget about the fight, did that mean she wasn’t supposed to mention anything about the time they hadn’t been speaking?
Deciding to take the safest route she could think of, Jennifer glanced at the boy sitting next to her and asked, “So, what are you doing down here so early? Somehow, I never really thought of you as being much of a morning person. Do you have a quidditch practice scheduled, or something?” She didn’t think that Jake had reserved the pitch, but she generally didn’t pay all that much attention to just which captain had on what day.
Feeling she had to say something else, she hurriedly went through all the various small-talk categories that had been drilled into her head at some point during her childhood, and then continued almost without pause once she’d settled on one. “Oh, and how is your family doing? I remember seeing something about Bella putting together a band- how is that working out?”
Jennifer decided she probably could neither continue speaking without putting her foot in her mouth in some way (never mind that she almost never did. She had the feeling that anything was possible right now), or continue to look up at Jake without blushing for some asinine reason, so she near simultaneously shut up and dropped her gaze, attempting to occupy herself and look somewhat more natural by filling the plate in front of her with a little bit of food.
\n\n
0
Jennifer
So why were you being critical?
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
January 21, 2007 10:37 PM
Cos it makes me look like the bad guy by Jake
It was very awkward for Jake to be sitting next to the girl whom he had pledged he would leave alone in order for her to be happy. He was happy that she wasn't still with Felipe-though he knew it was a bad sort of happy-but he didn't really know where that left the two of them. Despite his words of saying to just forget it all, he couldn't help but remember her words that had stung him and caused him to doubt himself and his family.But that was history, right? She said she never meant it, didn't she? They could pretend, couldn't they?
Girls were frustrating.
And now they fell into an awkward silence. Jake chanced another glance at Jennifer before quickly looking away again. Why was it so hard to look at her now? Or be near her? It was never this difficult before. Was it due to the months that they had been apart? No, that couldn't be it. They spent summers apart without a single owl and that never put a hamper on their friendship. Was it because he liked her? No, that couldn't have been it either, he had liked her for a long time now and could always hold a conversation without much issue.
So then...what? Why? Why was this so hard for him? For them? It couldn't have just been because of the fight, could it have? Okay, so it had been a big fight and words were said, but it had been months ago and Jake, though still mad, he was mainly mad at himself.
All he had to do was say that he liked her. Liked her. He got so far as opening his mouth to say something he wasn't exactly sure what, but her question on why he was up forced different words to fall out of his mouth. "Studying." He replied quickly, nearly stumbling on his words. "You know, homework and stuff. I have to keep up if I plan on staying the team Captain. I'm not so good with tests and things, so I have to study." Jake admitted. He doubted people would ever think Jake took time to study, but what they didn't know didn't bother him.
"Uh, the family's good. I think the twins are planning something, but I can't figure out what. Sofia says Uni is working out great and Jules is off on another assignment." Jake said, almost as if on autopilot. He loved talking about his family, but little really happened despite the size. "I think Bella's disappointed in the turn out of the sign ups. Mainly all first years. She seems preoccupied lately anyway and I know she wants to get the song down for Paco's wedding, so, eh, she'll be fine, I guess." Jake responded, glancing back at Jennifer and holding his look a bit longer than he had before.
"How's-uh-life with you?" Jake asked, inwardly wincing. This was far too difficult for him to do.\n\n
6
Jake
Cos it makes me look like the bad guy
42
Jake
0
5
Jennifer
January 24, 2007 9:51 PM
Why, will you look at that? by Jennifer
If Jennifer hadn’t been a participant in this particular conversation, and had just been sitting around listening to it, she would likely have found it amusing. They both doubtlessly sounded like they were trying to hard (or she was, at least), and trying to avoid mentioning the elephant in the corner. But she was a participant, and any sort of conversation between the two of them was a step in the right direction.She nodded understandingly as Jake explained the reasoning behind him being up so early. School was another nice, safe subject. Well, as long as they didn’t mention muggle studies, she supposed. “Everything has gotten more intense this year, hasn’t it? I mean, yes, we’re upperclassmen now, and probably should be able to handle it, but, Merlin. I think I’ve spent more time in the library this year than any of the previous ones, which is probably an accomplishment.”
Jake’s family was slightly more difficult to keep the conversation going about, but not by much. True, she couldn’t recall ever really meeting any of them, with the exception of Jake, even though she’d seen all of them currently at the school in the halls, or in classes, or whatnot, she’d heard plenty about them from Jake throughout the years. And they were far more interesting than her rather boring family.
“The twins are the pranksters, aren’t they? That sounds like it would be slightly unnerving, knowing that they were planning something, yet not knowing just what. And that’s too bad for Bella with the whole disappointing turnout. The first years do seem to be rather enthusiastic about the whole getting involved thing, don’t they? I mean, there were three that signed up for the Crotalus team, which, considering the past history of participation,” she rolled her eyes, “is just amazing.”
She paused briefly before answering Jake’s question, more because she couldn’t really think of much that was all that significant about the last few months. “Life’s been dull, more than anything else,” she said finally. “Not much’s been going on outside quidditch and classes. Well, my father’s apparently engaged, which was a bit of a shock, but, apart from that, absolutely nothing’s really happened.”
This whole conversing thing was awkward, that was impossible to deny, but it wasn’t unbearably so, at least not right now. She figured that, as long as the two of them stayed on safer topics, she at least would be able to deal with the whole conversing thing without too much trouble. Now all that had to be seen was if Jake would be able to do the same.
\n\n
0
Jennifer
Why, will you look at that?
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
January 27, 2007 2:23 PM
*blinks* by Jake
Jake nodded in agreement. This year's coursework seemed much more difficult than the years previous. He was sure it was because this year was the year that would determine their futures. Whether or not they could truly handle being whatever it was they had decided on whether be a childhood dream of something that only just occurred to them.Either way, Jake was feeling the importance of the future and it weighed heavily upon his shoulders. "Must be a record of some sort." Jake commented in a sort of joking way when Jennifer mentioned her stay in the library. He often wondered why she hadn't been placed in Aladren five years ago. She seemed more suitded for it than Crotalus. But, it was only his opinion on it. He was sure the goblet-er-potion or whatever it was that so decided where they belonged would have known better than he.
"They were pranksters." Jake said offhandedly. "They've been quiet. Last year, I'm sure it was because they were new here. But they didn't do much of anything over the summer and I've seen them about but it's not the same. Sometimes I think school's drifted them apart. But, I could be completely wrong. I'm sure they'll rain havoc upon Sonora in no time." Jake mused, his stare now turned to the waterfalls that surrounded them.
"I honestly don't know how Bella's taken to the band thing. She gets over things with a blink of the eye that I'm sure she's forgotten all about it." He smiled slightly, his sister was weird, but at least she was unpredictable. "Yeah, I had three first years too. I mean, it's not like I'll turn them away or anything and it's nice to have a few benchers just in case, with Lexi on my team, I fear revenge is in the air." Jake stated and actually laughed.
The fact that she just threw her father's engagement on the table as if it was nothing more than a new hairdo caused Jake to look at her with wide eyes. "Engaged? And you weren't aware of that?" Jake new, somewhat, that Jennifer didn't see much of her father even though she associated herself more with him. But still, to not have known an engagement was coming? Perhaps because Paco had been with Mercedes for so long that the engagement was just what was to be expected. "Well, congratulations." Jake said after a moment.
The mention of the engagement and the thoughts of Paco and Mercedes up and coming wedding forced repeated thoughts to re-enter Jake's mind. Questions that circled around his head, ideas that came and went swiftly. "Er-Jennifer..." Jake started before pausing and glancing at her for a quick moment. "We're allowed a guest for the wedding and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to be mine..." He mumbled most of it and could feel his ears burning out of worry for her answer. Deep breaths, it'll be alright. What's done is done.\n\n
6
Jake
*blinks*
42
Jake
0
5
Jennifer
January 27, 2007 3:51 PM
*grins* by Jennifer
If she had been any less mature, and if there hadn’t been that slightly uncomfortable undercurrent of the conversation, Jennifer probably would have done something slightly childish like stick her tongue out at Jake for the crack about how her time in the library must be some sort of record. Instead, she settled for giving him her best impersonation of a haughtily-offended look, and replied “I resent that comment. Zack Dill spends far more time in there than I do, or anyone else, for that matter.” Then, unable to keep up the look, yet refrain from laughing, she reverted back to her former attitude. “Seriously, though, I can’t recall a single time I’ve not walked in to find him there already. I think he sleeps in there, even. I wonder, would that be one of the signs of the apocalypse, to have someone spending more time in the library than him?”She laughed along with Jake when he mentioned how it was probably better to have spare players, in case anyone was looking for revenge. “Oh, I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. For what it’s worth, I have full faith in your abilities to protect your team from other beaters out for blood. Unless, of course, they’re my own,” she added, almost as an afterthought, her slightly cheeky grin making the joke obvious.
She turned more somber, though, as the conversation turned to her father’s imminent marriage. She rested her head in her hands and stared at the waterfalls Jake had been looking at earlier, rather than meet surprised look of the boy sitting beside her. “I know that makes me sound like a completely horrible daughter, but no, I really had no idea. I mean, I knew he was very fond of her, and she of him, but- I just never really concerned myself with everything that was going on in that relationship. He didn’t really seem to discuss it with anyone, from what I saw when I was down there, and I was busy with…other things.” She shrugged. “It just doesn’t feel real, somehow. It’s difficult to see my father settling down anywhere, really, although I’m happy for him, of course. Thank you, though.”
That was all true. She hadn’t mentioned the engagement to anyone, not even Lizzie, because that would mean she’d have to acknowledge the seriousness of it. She didn’t mind sharing her father, what little she saw of him. She wasn’t sure what she minded about the situation, if anything, but the brevity of it had yet to sink in, and she really didn’t have a problem keeping it that way for a while.
Jennifer had continued to stare at the waterfalls, even after she’d finished speaking, but Jake’s inquiry made her turn her gaze back to him, all thoughts of her father and his fiancée vanishing from her mind. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but that certainly hadn’t been it. “Oh, um, sure. I mean, I’d be glad to.”Do not blush. This is a friend asking another friend to go to a family event with them. There is no reason to blush. The mental command didn’t really work, though, as there was a definite pinkish tinge to her cheeks as she continued on.
“I mean, I’ll have to write my mother, and make sure it’s alright, but I’m sure she’ll be fine with it.” Christine Noire would probably be more than fine with it, would far more likely be ecstatic with the idea of her daughter being invited to attend any sort of family function with a nice pureblood boy, even if Jennifer explained that he was just one of her friends.
“Thank you for inviting me,” she finished with a small smile. She was certain Lizzie (and, in all honesty, Jennifer as well) would be busy analyzing each and every word of this later, but, for now, all Jennifer really cared about was that this probably meant that any rift that could have remained was probably mended. Or, at least, being ignored more fully.
\n\n
0
Jennifer
*grins*
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
January 28, 2007 2:03 PM
Ho Hum, the future has been decided by Jake
Well, that statement was certainly true. Zack Dill lived and breathed the library. There was something seriously wrong with that boy for spending so much time cooped up and not enough time with friends...or girls. He needed to get out and have fun. Jake liked the kid, he was smart and was a decent Seeker, but aside from Quidditch, Jake doubted they'd be able to hold any sort of conversation. "It would be Hell frozen over." Jake stated.Jake blinked, slightly embarrassed at her compliment for his Beater skills. He tried, sure, to be the best when it came to protecting his team. But the one thing that set him apart from all the other beaters here at Sonora was the fact that he wasn't out to really harm anyone. His objectives were simply to prevent them from being able to play the game properly and to protect the members of his own team. Sometimes that just wasn't enough. "I don't know, from the things I hear, there's more animosity between your teammates than between teams." Jake mused.
He wasn't sure what exactly she meant by 'fond'. Either that meant love or it meant that they simply liked one another. But, maybe even Jennifer didn't know that answer. He couldn't blame her though for not knowing. It wasn't like she spent all of her time with her father to really know.
Jake gave a sour look and pointedly looked away when Jennifer oh so vaguely stated that she had been busy with 'other things'. It didn't take a genius to know exactly what-or whom-she was refering to. Already he was having to stomp down the green monster of jealousy at the idea of what these 'other things' could possibly entail. The whole point of this conversation was to move past all that. Closing his eyes for a moment and taking a breath, Jake turned back to her to continue the conversation.
"Well, it'd be different if you were there all the time to actually see their relationship on a daily basis. If that were the case, then, yes, I'd say you were a terrible daughter. But it's not, so you're still Miss Innocent." Jake teased, giving her a lopsided grin.
He didn't seem to have to wait long for Jennifer to answer him. Luckily she said yes. Or, what seemed to as close to a yes as he was going to get. Glancing at her, Jake saw the red and laughed. "You're blushing!" He nudged her gently with his elbow. "You make it so easy, Jennifer." He said between his laughter. "And, if you're mom has any questions, Mama won't mind answering them. In fact, if your mom is okay with it, Mama will owl her for the details in picking you up. It's hard to get to our house cos of the charms, so, things will have to be worked out that way." Jake spoke freely for the first time since the start of the conversation. It was almost as though the fight had never happened.\n\n
6
Jake
Ho Hum, the future has been decided
42
Jake
0
5
Jennifer
January 28, 2007 5:16 PM
That's just <i>begging</i> for some difficulty to occur by Jennifer
When it came to her team and any difficulties the members might have had among themselves, Jennifer generally kept pretty quiet. It didn’t matter who she was talking to, even the players themselves, discussing or acknowledging that there were any problems just seemed like it was asking for trouble, like if someone decided she was favoring one over another. Besides, Jake was the captain of a different team, and while she didn’t think he was the kind to use that sort of information to make an advantage, one could never be sure. She probably would, if given the chance.So she replied innocently. “I have no idea whom you heard such things from, but I can assure you they’re entirely untrue. Every player on my team is being perfectly civil towards the rest of the team. Yes, it may be under duress, since I’ve threatened to kick the first one to cause problems off the team, but,” she shrugged, “it all works. Besides, we’re Crotalus. However angry any one of us might be with another, it wouldn’t do to let that interfere with looking like we’re better than everyone else. Or something silly like that.”
She didn’t say anything about Jake’s response to her saying that she had been busy, just smiled weakly when he said she wasn’t a terrible daughter, but she’d seen it out of the corner of her eye, and it annoyed her a little. Well, more than a little, to tell the truth. Yes, she had realized Jake seemed to have a problem with Felipe, petty though it was, and she was trying to not make things awkward again, but he was just being childish. Talking about her dad meant Brazil, and her ex-boyfriend had been a pretty important part of Brazil.
A small part of her was pleased that Jake was acting like jealous, which would indicate some non-platonic feelings, for the most part she was just sick of him acting like a small child who didn’t like something, so wanted to pretend it didn’t exist. She could have come out and said that she was busy making out with her boyfriend, or something to that effect, and since she was trying to play nicely, she’d appreciate it if Jake would be civil.
She also didn’t appreciate him teasing her about blushing. She didn’t find it at all amusing, and the fact that he was bringing any sort off attention to it was only making it worse. “Very mature,” she said, fighting back the urge to glare. Then, before she thought the words through, “You know, I know how you seem to dislike the comparison, but Felipe at least was generally nice. Which I suppose just makes me look like an idiot, since it’s not him I want to date.”
It took a few seconds for the fact that she’d actually said that aloud to sink in, but as soon as it did, she flushed once again, even more furiously, and again fought her instinctive reaction, this time to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. This was the second time in as many conversations she’d had with Jake where she’d gotten furious over something ridiculous and said something she immediately regretted. Obviously, she just wasn’t meant to talk to Jake for any sort of extended period of time.
Refusing to meet Jake’s eye, she asked, somewhat pleadingly, “Could you just lump anything I just said in with what we agreed earlier to forget? Please?” Obviously she wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe it was being up too early. Or she was coming down with something. Either way, leaving as soon as possible sounded really good.
\n\n
0
Jennifer
That's just <i>begging</i> for some difficulty to occur
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
January 28, 2007 7:17 PM
It's the way of life by Jake
Jake grinned. Always the Captain protecting the team. Jake couldn't really blame her for that. If it had been Jake's team that had all the rumors, he would have put a stop on that immediately. Whatever was going on between his own teammates was their business and they'd work it out on their own. "Good enough answer, I suppose." Jake commented.He played with the eggs on his plate, his food half eaten before Jennifer had interupted. Well, it certainly hadn't been the typical morning for Jake and even more so for a Saturday, but at least he was talking to Jennifer again. That was something. In the months where they hadn't been speaking, Jake missed her friendship. He missed her. And, in a way, he missed Lizzie too. He hadn't spoken to her either.
It appeared that even though Jake was in better spirits, Jennifer wasn't. His fork clattered against his plate as he dropped it in his surprise at her words. She was seriously comparing him to Felipe? Claiming that Felipe was the better guy, yet again? All because he liked it when she blushed? It seemed that despite her apologizing and him saying to just forget it, she wanted to make it sting a bit longer. Was this all just a joke to her?
"...it's not him I want to date."
He knew this was something important, something that he should take a moment to think about, but his mind was preoccupied. He was angry. The same rushing sound that had filled his ears previously had returned once more, his heart thumping so painfully against his chest he thought for sure that Jennifer would hear it.
Having not heard a single word that Jennifer spoke, Jake stood abruptly in his seat. With his palms flat against the table before him, Jake spoke quietly in a defeated tone, "I like it when you blush. When it starts in your cheeks and then spreads across your nose. It's cute, so I try to get you to blush." He wasn't looking at Jennifer when he said any of this, but at his now abandoned plate. His face had the same defeated look that his tone of voice took.
"I know that I'm slow and not at all that smart. I took to long to figure things out and I guess now it doesn't really matter anyway." Jake paused there and looked at Jennifer for a moment before pushing himself away from the table and standing up properly. He had really wanted her to come to the wedding. He had wanted to introduce her to his family. But, maybe... "Sorry, I won't mention your blushing anymore."
\n\n
6
Jake
It's the way of life
42
Jake
0
5
Jennifer
January 28, 2007 9:15 PM
Ain't that the truth by Jennifer
Jennifer felt like a louse. Lower than a louse, actually. She wasn’t sure what was next on the scale, but whatever it was, she was probably a good dozen steps below that. Or more. There was probably a special place in hell for people like her. She wouldn’t have been surprised if Jake had just walked out, and told her that he never wanted to see her again. But he hadn’t yet, even though he was probably preparing to, so that meant she still had one more chance to try and not flub things up this time.“I don’t like blushing,” she said, somewhat softly, trying not to think about what Jake’d said on the subject because she had a feeling it would only make her feel worse. “I suppose it’s part of the whole ‘wall-flower’ thing. Generally, I blush whenever I’m nervous or embarrassed, which is far more often than I’d prefer, and blushing only attracts more attention to that fact. As does teasing, which is why I snapped at you. You didn’t really deserve it, though, and I’m sorry.”
There. Simple dilemma, simple solution. Now, if only that were the biggest problem facing the two of them. Frankly, Jennifer could think of nothing she’d like less than doing what she had a feeling the situation demanded, but it was her own fault they were in it now, so it was her responsibility to fix it, she supposed. Plus, she had a feeling hers would be the first head to roll should Lizzie realize that her ‘master plan’ that she had never really admitted to having was doomed to failure.
Despite her preferred anti-social behavior sometimes, Jennifer wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to figuring out people’s behavior. She was just horrible at thinking before she acted, she supposed. She knew what it sounded like Jake was saying, and she couldn’t think of a single time when he’d intentionally made it sound like he was saying something the opposite of what he meant. That seemed to be her particular forte. So theoretically she could trust her assumptions, which was the only positive thing she could think of about the situation, but which wasn’t really making this any easier.
She cleared her throat, started to say something, then thought better of it, and was silent again for a few more minutes. Finally, she realized there wasn’t really any easy way out, and she might as well just get it over with. “The problem here isn’t how slow or unintelligent you seem to think you are. The problem, well, your problem, at least, since I seem to have more than my fair share, all of which I’d prefer not to dissect, and save some of my pride, although I will if I really need to…”
She paused. She couldn’t remember exactly what the subject of that sentence had originally been, for a second, and she needed to recollect her thoughts before things got as badly out of hand again. “Anyway, your problem is you make assumptions. And, yes, I didn’t correct your assumption, so it’s partially my fault, but you’d already done it. So let me set the record straight, and then I’ll stop mentioning Felipe, since it seems to bug you so much. He’s a nice guy, and I liked him well enough, but you’re a better one, and I like you more.”
She couldn’t remember a single time she’d been this frank with someone. It was actually rather terrifying. “Actually, I never really considered him important, not in the grand scheme of things, which is why I’d asked Liz not to mention it to anyone.” She laughed, albeit forcedly. “It was a little embarrassing, really, dating someone when I liked someone else so much more, even if I wasn’t quite aware of it at the time.” She chanced a look up at Jake, then lost the courage and looked back down. “So, yeah. I’m sorry.”
\n\n
0
Jennifer
Ain't that the truth
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
January 28, 2007 10:30 PM
At least it's a learning experience by Jake
When Jennifer started speaking, Jake focused his gaze elsewhere throughout the hall rather than on her. Eventually, his gaze ended on the floor. He felt terrible or having wished for her to blush all the time, or for pointing it out whenever she did if that was how she associated it. "I just thought you looked cute, I didn't realize it bothered you so much. Sorry."He sat back down beside Jennifer again, though, this time he wasn't facing the table, but out at everyone else who was eating in the hall. His head was tilted in her direction so that she knew he was listening to her, but he didn't think he could actually face her during such a conversation as this.
Jake was never one to come out and tell his feelings towards anyone. Sure, he hugged people when he was happy or if they needed it, or yelled when he was truly angry, and smiled when he was happy. Those were easy emotions to express. It was hard for him to admit things to people. To open up and spill his thoughts or feelings. It just wasn't done for him. His family had no problem doing so, but Jake...he didn't like making things about him. He rather just not deal with them.
Maybe that's where it all went wrong?
He remained completely silent throughout Jennifer's speech. He really just wanted to sort through his thoughts before making any sort of judgement on her or the situation. He knew he was to blame for a lot of what happened. He let his emotions get the better of him, but he really was trying to be better about it. And, it wasn't like he'd ever been in a situation like this to really know how to react to all of it. He was learning.
"You're right, I do make assumptions." Jake said after having taken a moment or two after Jennifer had finished before even opening his mouth. "But it's only natural to have done so. I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did, but I didn't know how else to." He admitted, an apologetic grin slipping across his face before vanishing away.
"It wasn't so much Felipe himself that I didn't like...I mean, yeah, I didn't like thinking of you dating him, but I figured he must be a good guy if you liked him." Jake paused and took a breath. He didn't like talking like this, it wasn't normal for him to do this. To spill his guts so openly. But, she had done it and it was only fair that he did it too. "I don't like being compared to someone that I've never met and especially to someone that I can never compete with. I...don't know how to be any other way. If I say things or do things it's because it's who I am and that'll never change."
Jake leaned back and rested his elbows on the table. This time, he actually looked at Jennifer. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. Maybe now it was because Jennifer had admitted to him that she actually liked him. "I like you, Jennifer. Have liked you for a long while now. You're smart, funny, talented, and cute, even when you aren't blushing." He grinned sheepishly and very unlike Jake. He let a finger trace up her upper arm for a moment before dropping it.
"I guess I just didn't know how to tell you and when Lizzie told me about Felipe...I thought it was too late."\n\n
6
Jake
At least it's a learning experience
42
Jake
0
5
Jennifer
February 04, 2007 4:51 PM
An excuse for almost everything by Jennifer
Jennifer shrugged as Jake apologized before sitting back down. “It’s not your fault. I didn’t ever say anything, and I could hardly expect you to be a mind-reader,” she said simply. While it was all true, she probably wouldn’t have minded it so much from him if she hadn’t already been so stressed by this whole conversation in general, and this was hardly the most important part of the conversation.The couple of minutes it took for Jake to say something were more nerve-wracking than words could express. Jennifer thought she had to have been mistaken when she had tried to decipher his feelings, that he was just thinking of some nice way to let her down easily (being the polite sort he was, it would have to be done in some sort of kind manner), and was in the middle of figuring out a way of her own to get out of the room without looking like she was too upset when he did so (since appearances had to be kept up) when Jake actually began to talk.
Like he had done, Jennifer waited for him to finish speaking completely and then some before saying anything, although the reason for her silence was less for having the chance to process everything before she did or said something foolish again, though that was an important part of it as well, than because of pure shock, which was foolish in itself, but she couldn’t help it. Despite everything, she still wasn’t quite expecting to be right.
Once she felt she’d gotten everything sorted out, she glanced over at Jake. Theoretically, the hard part of this whole thing was supposed to be over, at least for the most part, and she should be able not to have to look at anything but him because of embarrassment. “You’re right,” she said, more slowly and deliberately than usual, even for her, “On all counts. It would be unfair to compare you with someone, even if it was almost entirely in your own head,” she gave him a small grin, then turned more serious once more. “And I wouldn’t, couldn’t, ask you to change anything about who you are.”
She hesitated there and looked away, not quite sure what she should do now. Much as she might have wanted to give him a hard time for believing Lizzie so utterly, she couldn’t really blame him, and she wanted to steer the conversation away from things related to their fight for the time being. And, much as she wanted to just be happy like she probably should be, this whole thing was still just too complicated and confusing for her. Deciding that any more uncertainty was going to drive her crazy, she met Jake’s eyes and asked, cautiously, “So, since we’ve acknowledged that we’re both idiots, along with everything else...what do we do now?”
\n\n
0
Jennifer
An excuse for almost everything
0
Jennifer
0
5
Jake
February 09, 2007 2:15 PM
Yeah, Pretty Basically by Jake
He had finally done it. He had finally admitted to Jennifer that he had feelings for her. Something he didn't think he would ever really do. In fact, Jake wouldn't have said anything at all if Jennifer hadn't said it first. He would have gone on avoiding her until the very day they graduated if life would have allowed it of him. Luckily, it hadn't.When Jake finished talking, he sat in silence waiting for Jennifer to speak. He wished there were books or manuals to figure out situations such as these. He was sure there were probably girl books on this stuff, but doubted there was one for which a guy could work from. The way his parents always spoke about romance, they made it sound so easy. So did Hannah. Jake only hoped that as time went on, this would become less complicated.
When Jennifer began to talk, Jake focused soley on her. Almost immediately, Jake opened his mouth to retort but closed it just as quickly. Of the few times that Jake had actually compared himself to Felipe, it was caused by something that Jennifer had said. First in Muggle Studies by saying Felipe was better than him and even a few minutes ago by saying Felipe was nicer. But arguing that would only make things worse and Jake was tired of fighting.
At her question, Jake let out a chuckle and ran a hand through his bed-head of hair. That was a loaded question. What did they do now? "I'm...not really sure." Jake responded rather cautiously. "I mean, do you want to, you know, go out with me?" Even as he said it, Jake knew it sounded lame. Oh well, there was no real way of going back now.\n\n
6
Jake
Yeah, Pretty Basically
42
Jake
0
5