This was not the year promised to me. on Aladren Commons

Bella Santoro

December 07, 2008 1:49 AM

This was not the year promised to me. by Bella Santoro

Bella sat in the back corner of the common room, her back to everyone. She was having the worst Seventh year of her life. First, she and Ben broke up. It was sort of on mutual terms. Both of them having little time for each other, but Ben had been fading for awhile now and Bella suspected that Lexi and Chris's rocky relationship may have played a factor in it as well. But that may have been more Bella's fault than Ben's. Bella currently hated Lexi. Hated her for the strain she had placed on Chris and Bella's friendship. It was all awkward for her and Ben and now they were over.

On top of all that, Bella had new roommates. Transfers. Twins. How many people had to be freaking twins? Not only that, polar opposite twins? The one twin Bella was fine with but how in the world did the other one end up in Aladren? She didn't seem to give a lick about school. Bella had liked things they way there were between her and Anne. It was always just the two of them. Sure they weren't best friends or hardly close, but it was comfortable.

She was miserable. She was beyond miserable. All she wanted to do was cry because she was just so frustrated with it all. First her breakup, then the new roommates, Jules was still missing in action, now she has to oversee things for the Concert thing that she had thought would be fun as a talent show (clearly she had been wrong), and, on top of all that, she had to worry about her R.A.T.S. exams. Honestly, she did not know how Jen did it all last year and she didn’t know how Anne could captain Quidditch with so much on her plate.

But, Bella would not cry. She wouldn’t. She had cried when Chris had hurt her. She had sobbed uncontrollably into her mother’s arms when she and Ben had broken up just before the school year. She didn’t think she had anything left now. But she still felt the need too. Instead of crying though, Bella decided to put her guitar to good use. Her fingers strummed easily strummed over the cords as she quietly played in the corner of the common room. It was later in the evening so that most people had already headed off to their dorm rooms, but Bella didn’t feel comfortable playing in her own room anymore.

A sheet of parchment lay in front of her with half written lyrics and music marking it. Writing helped. It was a sad song in a way. Well, more so than anything she had ever written before. Usually her music was more rock concentrated, but this was deeper and in Spanish. Spanish was the language in which she felt more comfortable admitting to her feelings in. Especially the feelings that were so unbearably foreign to her. Plus, it helped that most of the people here wouldn’t be able to understand what she was singing about. Only that the song was slow and had a bittersweet beat to it.

” Por ti estoy aquí tan triste y derrotada
Te ví partir, y hoy mi vida ya no vale nada
Te quiero a ti, y nunca seré feliz
hasta que vuelvas a mi lado”

Her fingers moved expertly against the guitar as her voice filled her little corner. Eyes closed, Bella felt the music rather than read it off the parchment. She had been working on this for awhile now. At least since her and Ben had given up on their relationship. Even weeks later, Bella still felt the sting of tears threaten as she sang. She ignored them for the time being.

” Recuerdos de un cariño, que siempre están conmigo
De un gran amor que dió alegría a mi corazón
Pero ya no estás, y mi-Damnit!” Bella hissed.

Bella’s voice had wobbled while she had sung. Wobbled and threatened the very thing she hadn’t wanted to do. Cry. She sniffled dangerously to keep the tears at bay, setting her guitar on the chair beside her. She couldn’t even finish her song without thinking about crying! This was ridiculous! This wasn’t at all like her! He was just a stupid boy. And her sister would be just fine. Her parents had promised her that everything would be okay. Ben would realize what he was missing and Jules would write a letter. Everything would be okay.

Then why was she crying? Bella pressed the palm of her hands tightly against the lids of her eyes to stop the flow of tears, but it didn’t help. Her shoulders shook in silent sobs. She was in such a quiet desperation for something good to happen. Anything. She just needed the reassurance that life wasn’t always so depressing. That everything thing had a purpose. She just felt so alone.

Despite her tries, Bella couldn’t stop the crying. She folded her arms onto the table, giving up completely. Her head resting in the crook of her arms, Bella completely forgot that she was still in the common room and only remembered that she wasn’t alone when she felt something brush against her exposed back. Jumping at the touch, Bella turned to find someone watching her. “Sorry, must have dozed-“ She lied and horribly so. The fresh wet stains on the parchment that had been beneath her folded arms, the puffy swelling of her eyes, and the shaking of her voice all gave away what she had been really doing. “Was I bothering you?”

OOC: The song used is Sukiyaki by Selena and full credit shall be given for such a beautiful song.

0 Bella Santoro This was not the year promised to me. 0 Bella Santoro 1 5

Devian Dupree

December 07, 2008 9:28 PM

A statement I can agree with. by Devian Dupree

Sixth year was like the eye of the storm between fifth and seventh years and he wasn’t really sure how actually tranquil it was. Last year was the disappointment of not being named prefect, which he had wanted for two key reasons. One was because his cousin, Chris, had been named one. The other was the potential power involved, but in truth, he didn’t crave the power. He just wanted it, because he was supposed to, but then that was the story of his life. Added on to this was the ever torturous test known as the C.A.T.S., which he was actually proud to say that he did better than Chris on, but then he spent most of his life at Sonora in the library.

The other major change in his life came with Rosalind Rabindra. He understood what was to come. He understood that when he graduated Sonora, he would be expected to marry her, but until then, being at a different school had been for him. It had given him the opportunity to lie a little to himself, though, not by much. It came with the problem of going to the same school as one’s siblings and cousins. Now, he had the addition of his betrothed, which just created all sorts of complications between seeing her here and over the summer. He had tried to be nice, well, as nice as he could be when he didn’t actually want to be, which was odd, because he actually had the ability when he wasn’t trying to be manipulative. It was just never shown.

Now, in sixth year, he had to deal with not only Rosalind at every turn, but his cousin had earned the title of Head Boy, making his lovely C.A.T.S. scores meaningless. The only hope he had was to spend even more time in the library than ever. He was determined to avoid Rosalind and more determined to do better next year on his R.A.T.S. than Chris did on his, though, he wasn’t quite sure how he would actually find out how his cousin did since his father was currently plotting something that he was sure wouldn’t be pretty, but it was still expected that he do better. He had to, because there was no other option. He couldn’t be a failure to him.

As a result of the longer hours in the library, it was later than his normal routine when he entered the Common room only to come across a sort of melancholy air that started him. He rested his head against the wall to the right of him. The rest of his body followed, as he listened to the penetrating sadness. His blue eyes stared at the back of the source. Bella Santoro. He had a bit of a crush on her, always had since talking to her in Care of Magical Creatures. She wasn’t like other girls. She didn’t look like them. She didn’t act like them. She wasn’t them. His interest was kept at bay, because, among other factors, she had a boyfriend. Lucky bastard.

But he wasn’t here right now. All that was here was Bella with a voice that sounded like darkness had fallen upon the world. He was uncertain as to whether it was intentional or not, the emotion behind her voice. He continued watching, as she set the guitar down and laid her head in her arms. Uncertainty became certain with her shaking shoulders that foretold of crying. His buried side surged forth as uncharacteristic concern etched his features. Tears always brought out what he fought so hard to hide, but now he couldn’t. He couldn’t ignore her. He softly made his way to where she was and without thinking, gently brushed his hand against her back to get her attention and when he did, all his thoughts were confirmed.

Devian moved to sit on the table across from her. “The song was beautiful and…” he leaned forward and wiped one of her cheeks with his thumb, letting it linger just a moment longer than necessary on her jaw line, “sad.” Whether or not, Bella knew it, he wasn’t speaking only of the song, but of her. “I would think that something beautiful, upbeat, maybe even a little crazy would be more appropriate.” His gaze never left her face. “While still beautiful, sadness doesn’t suit you.” He gave a half smile of sincerity, before he went on, “Nothing should ever make you feel like this, but something did.” The subtle prompt was there. He wanted to take the pain away. His hands, with a mind of their own, had found hers and lightly rested on them, giving her the option to stay or pull away, but the offer of comfort was there nonetheless.

0 Devian Dupree A statement I can agree with. 70 Devian Dupree 0 5

Bella

December 11, 2008 8:41 PM

Is your year a bad one too? by Bella

Bella found herself looking at Devian Dupree. She knew little of him aside from a random conversation they had had during her fourth year while in Care of Magical Creatures and what Chris had told her of him. She knew that their dads currently having some sort of dispute. Well, she supposed that it was Chris and Devian's father having the dispute, but that was beside the point. Did this mean that Devian and Chris were also having a dispute and, if that were the case, what did she do in this situation? She wasn't sure of the proper etiquette with such a situation as this. But then, did she really need to involve herself in a family matter anyway?

No. And she was sure Chris wouldn't hate her if she had a small conversation with his cousin.

His hand against her cheek startled her for a moment. Her breath catching in her throat at the seemingly intimate touch. She was aware that Devian was trying to be comforting, but it wasn't a gesture Bella was all that used to. Especially from someone she hardly knew. The moment that Devian pulled his hand away from her cheek, Bella wiped away the remaining tears from her cheeks. She was embarrassed for having been caught in such a weak moment. Bella hated to show that side of her. She didn't want to be labeled one of those girls who cried for attention or to get what they wanted.

She knew that she wasn't like that. She wasn't a crier. She had once been a crier. Back before her Sonora days. Back when she thought the twins playing jokes on her had been the worst thing in the world. Those had been the days she had cried. And now, to get her to cry, a person had to break her heart. She knew understood how easy it was to be able to stomp on someone so effortlessly. Rip it out without any thoughts.

Okay, so she was aware that she was being dramatic with her thoughts, but that was how Bella felt at this moment in time. She felt broken. Not all of it could be blamed on the breakup between her and Ben, but that was a major part of it.

Devian was talking to her about the song. She gave a half smile about his description of the song. The point of the darn thing was to be sad, but she couldn't really just come out and explain that. People expected Bella to be full of energy. They expected her to goof off and be crazy. No one ever expected or believed that Bella could be serious or that things didn't hurt her in the same way that they did everyone else. She didn't know when or why such a persona was given to her, but it seemed that was what everyone thought when it came to her. She was fairly certain that Chris and Ben thought that of her too until she broke and cried.

"What?" Bella asked, thinking she had misheard him. She had never pegged Devian to be the sort of person who would give out compliments. But he was calling her beautiful… and was being rather corny about doing so. It was a bit overwhelming and even more so when he placed his hands on hers.

A part of her, the part that still felt connected to Ben, felt the urge to pull away from Devian. She knew he was just trying to comfort her and had he been Chris or even Anne, Bella wouldn't have thought twice about the gesture. But she did not have those kinds of relationships with Devian. She had only had one conversation with Devian and saw him around through classes and because they shared a common room.

"Something…" Bella gave a sarcastic snort, her drying eyes staring at his hands that were still on top of her own. The urge to remove them was still very present within her, but she knew that those feelings were only because she still felt like she was with Ben. And, she wasn't. Bella lifted her gaze from their hands to Devian's face. He was being nice and she wanted to give him something to let him know that she didn't normally cry. But the idea of talking nearly sent another round of tears to fall. She hadn't even wanted to tell Chris and had he not been so persistent she probably wouldn't have said anything at all. It was easier to pretend she was happy and that her and Ben were still happy than it was to tell the truth.

"Just… everything." Bella managed before her voice became choked up again. "My sister has been missing for the last four months because of her job. My dorm room is being overrun by strangers. I can't finish this stupid song. And, on top of that, Ben broke up with me. So, yeah, just about everything." Bella sniffled as more tears fell. Her hands removed themselves from his and covered her face out of embarrassment. "I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm crying so much. But I can't seem to stop."

0 Bella Is your year a bad one too? 0 Bella 0 5

Devian

December 31, 2008 10:28 PM

Only the last five or so by Devian

A low whistle came from Devian as Bella spilled what had upset her so. It had been apparent that there was something bothering her, but he hadn’t expected her to have the epitome of woes, as it seemed no part of her life had remained untouched. He wanted to be able to tell her that he could empathize with her plight, but he couldn’t. He had family problems, but none of them involved having a sibling missing for such a long period. He wasn’t sure he would be able to actually handle it if one were, Lucie, or even Danae.

One that knew anything of his family might think he wouldn’t care what happened to the one sister, but the attitude was more about what was set forth as example. For reasons unknown to him, his parents had always treated Danae in a manner that was different from Lucie and him. Initially, he had never thought much about it. As he grew older, he assumed it was because he was male, destined to be heir, while she was not, but then he began to notice the differences the differences between how Lucie and Danae were treated and was sad to say he ignored them.

But what was happening with the girl in front of him he wouldn’t ignore. “You should never be sorry for being only human, but if it helps, I promise not to tell anyone,” he joked lightly, hoping to cheer her up at least enough to stop the tears, before addressing anything more. “I don’t know what to say about your sister. There’s really nothing I can say, because I don’t think me, or anyone else, saying that it’ll be okay will really help, but I do know that if I were in the same situation, I would be worried and upset, probably even freaking out.

Though, I guess you don’t really get to have a place to freely do that since your dorm room got overrun, eh?” He stated with a slight eyebrow raise. “Honestly, you should just tell them to get out for a while, make something like a sock system, except it’s for having some space. Maybe then you could breath and you know, if that doesn’t work, you could always come invade my library space. I won’t mind.” He suggestively wagged his eyebrows at her before giving a grin. “And that just puts forth the point that Ben is an idiot.”

It was hard to believe that Ben had actually broken up with Bella. He had seen them together on rare occasion. They had seemed…happy and he had been jealous of that. He wanted to know what it was like to be like that with someone, to be able to share all the things one did, to trust them. But then, he was reminded of reasons not to, like secrets being told or a broken heart. “Bella, any guy would be lucky to stand a chance with you. I know I would. So, any guy that can’t see how beautiful and wonderful you are doesn’t deserve to be with you and never did.”

The statement was a bit too forthcoming and he felt a bit of embarrassment over the fact when it couldn’t be hidden behind other agendas, so he attempted to shrug it off and focus on her other statement. “Maybe the song isn’t ready to be finished.” Maybe it was a little odd to be referring to the song as though it could feel, but there had been so emotion building from it that he could actually believe it was. Not to mention with everything going on in her life, it was quite possible that there was still more to come, more to be added. It was a sad truth of the world that there could always be more. He knew this to be the way it was and didn’t wish it for anyone, especially her.

0 Devian Only the last five or so 0 Devian 0 5