Lena Westley
November 20, 2015 3:58 AM
Night Rendezvous/Walk by Lena Westley
It was the first time in a long while Lena had fallen asleep peacefully. It was almost a shame that her owl had flown in with a message from the very person she’d managed to momentarily forget- Olivier. The message Henny carried read simply ”We need to talk.” She knew where to go- their spot. The place in the labyrinth she knew better than anywhere else in that maze. She felt as if she were floating, she was running so fast. It couldn’t be soon enough that she’d see him close up. How many opportunities had she missed, how many days, weeks had she been deprived of his company? Too many, too many she thought as she found herself under and ever grander tree than usual. Now that is was night the moon shone down through it, light touching various branches and the fine dew on the grass. Olivier was there, stark despite the darkness, the moon having illuminated him- his cheekbones, his chin, his eyes-No, she couldn’t get swept away, she needed to talk now. She needed to be coherent, lie her way through this. If it was at all possible to trick him she’d have to do it now or die trying. Olivier had been the one to reach out this time. There had been so many attempts to reach out this summer and all had been met with cold shoulders. Both were guilty of both roles, the back and forth wearing on her. Now he was walking towards her, ready to talk, to apologize for things he hadn’t done, to say anything that would make her feel better. Guilt washed over her but it was mixed with something- happiness. She only loved him more when he did things like this.
“Lena” he called, voice demanding but the demand never came. His brow furrowed, unable to speak. But he didn’t have to; she knew what he wanted.
“I can’t tell you” came the squeaky, cracking voice she’d become familiar with. “I just,” she paused to catch her breath, to keep from crying, “can’t, just can’t.” As she saw his pain reflect on his face she tried to reach for him. They should be able to talk about anything but they were so far from where they should be. Here she was refusing to let him in again. She could see she’d hurt him, feel she’d done so, and as her hands closed around his robes she willed him to understand. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust him or care for him that she was keeping this secret.
He must’ve sensed her desperation, as he took her hands and wrapped them in his. Lena hadn’t realized she’d been cold until his warm hands enveloped hers. She noticed her teeth were chattering and that she was shaking. No sooner had she realized it Olivier stripped off his robe and cloaked her in it, letting her hands go only momentarily. How right this felt, his warmth surrounding her from all directions, his eyes engaging hers. They could tell each other anything, maybe even this. Maybe he would understand or at least try to; maybe he would help her find a way to get over it; maybe he would be disgusted. This last thought brought sense back to her, reality crashed in, and she broke eye contact and tried to break free from the cocoon she had been so happy in just moments before. He couldn’t find out, he’d hate her, that was the only response that made sense.
As she tried to run Olivier tugged on her arm- cliché, but befitting of the moment. She couldn’t touch his hand, she’d shudder with want. Her face turned away, she told him to let her go. Saying nothing, just willing her to understand, he walked around to stand in front of her. Tears had now filled her eyes but they hadn’t yet spilled. Cupping her face with one hand he preemptively wiped the tears and when they spilled he brushed them all away. Because that’s what he did, what he saw himself as- a big brother and protector.
She squeezed her eyes shut, the knowledge of his feelings only running so deep paining her. She wanted him. Why was the world so against their pairing? Why did this have to happen? “Lena. . .” his voice came, now cracked in the same way hers had. She stared at her shoes before slowly hugging him. Why couldn’t they go back to the way they were? That’s why she was out here. She couldn’t tell him but she could make him understand that she needed one, just this
The war between thinking of the unpleasant reality that Olivier would eventually discover girls and giving into incaution and just savor holding him raged on as she did the latter. When she decided not to err on the side of caution she blurted it out.
“I love you” came her normal voice, louder than usual with more force and feeling behind it. His face, shocked, didn’t give way to disgust but rather broke into a smile. The toothy smile reserved for her and her alone. He hugged her tightly to him, his chin pressing against her ear as he leaned into her hair and whispered back “I love you too.” Lena felt warm from head to toe even as the robe dropped from her shoulders. He retreated from the hug only to gaze down at her with shining eyes. Nothing had ever made her so ecstatic quite like him looking at her now had. They drifted closer together, their noses almost touching now. The heat in her body was consuming. Too consuming.
She threw off her comforter with her legs, waking as the movement required more energy than she’d intended. Realizing the current events had only been in her head she cursed herself for not having even been able to enjoy it properly. Almost in a daze, she grabbed her coat and this time rather awkwardly, ran to the labyrinth. No floating this time, she arrived at their spot only to find a less grand tree than she remembered. The moon, covered by clouds, was not shining down and there was no dew yet on the grass. Her heart falling to her ribs, the senselessness of her actions weighing on her, she crawled up on the bench, wrapping herself in the large coat she’d brought. It was too cold now, she needed something warm.
Falling asleep quickly due to the fever, the sick Lena was left overnight in the maze, far away from where others might spy her. She would not be reprimanded for being out past curfew; no one checked on her in the mornings anymore, how would they know? So Lena slept until she was woken.
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Lena Westley
Night Rendezvous/Walk
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Lena Westley
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