Trying to ask for forgiveness... on Labyrinth Gardens

Virginia Bellrose

January 20, 2015 7:39 PM

Trying to ask for forgiveness... by Virginia Bellrose

Ginny’s summer had gone much better than she had originally anticipated. Her extreme weight loss had upset her parents, but they weren’t angry with her. They understood the stress she has been under. So, instead of giving her a hard time for it, her parents had hired a nutritionist and worked with her to get her body back to what it had once been. It was a long process but it had been worth it. Especially since, as an award, her parents allowed her to go to Maxwell’s Coming Of Age ball at the end of the summer. She had even been able to wear the dress she hadn’t been able to wear for the school event. She had a lovely time with Maxwell and his friends that she had been sorry to leave Canada and return to school.

But she was back at school now and even though she was taking advanced courses, the workload seemed so much lighter than things had been for her last year. She had dropped Defense and Potions as those were her most difficult subjects, which left her schedule freer and she thought for sure her grades would look amazing this year. However, there was a dark side to her year. Her fractured friendship between herself, Francesca, and Adam. She knew that she needed to set things right. She missed having them around.

She had sent Francesca an owl a week or so into term. After a summer of contemplations and conversations with her parents and with Maxwell, Ginny understood that she needed to work things out with her friends. Or, at least, with Francesca. Ginny wasn’t sure if anything could be resolved with Adam. It was just a rather weird situation with him and she wasn’t sure how to handle it. Besides, his letter to her said that he wanted to work things out with her but his actions to her since the start of term showed otherwise. Ginny had a deeper connection with Francesca and she hoped her friend could understand her better now than she had last year.

Ginny sat in a bench in the gardens while she waited. She thought they’d have a better chance of remaining alone in the gardens than anywhere else and Ginny didn’t want to cry or make a scene if she could help it. Not that she was planning on doing anything like that, but emotions could run high again. While she waited, she ran a hand through her hair to make sure it wasn’t windblown and flattened her hands over her dress out of nervousness. Ginny was worried that Francesca would decide not to show. Although they had corresponded over postcards in the summer, it was not the same as face to face communication. But she needed to discuss things with her friend. Ginny needed Francesca to understand that she was sorry for what had transpired last year but she also needed her to understand that Ginny had never had friends before and so, she didn’t understand how things worked. She was doing her best to try to understand the ways in which was the most appropriate way to react to things, but she wasn’t used to complications and so, she would need time to adjust. As for Adam… well, her feelings had been crushed and she wasn’t sure how to get back on track with that.

She sat waiting for a little while, having arrived at the designated location earlier than she meant to but allowing her nerves to get the better of her. When she heard footsteps, she stood up from the bench and turned toward the sound. She hoped she could make it right between the two of them.

6 Virginia Bellrose Trying to ask for forgiveness... 0 Virginia Bellrose 1 5

Francesca Wolseithcrafte

January 24, 2015 4:44 AM

That sounds good by Francesca Wolseithcrafte

Francesca’s sensible brown boots trod steadily down the path. The footwear wasn’t really necessary in the ambient Sonora weather but September to her had always meant boot season, and the charms that kept the plants happy meant that indulging in this choice wasn’t uncomfortable. The knee high boots were paired with a red jersey dress, a small amount of black stocking visible between the two. Like most of her wardrobe, it was conservative and by default pleasant and inoffensive, whilst equally uninspiring.

She wasn’t sure that she was looking forward to this meeting. Things with Ginny had reached what other people might have regarded as a truce but which she felt was more of a stalemate. Stalemates were a frustrating limbo state and, in that sense, she dearly wanted this one to end. But there was also a certain safety to them. They meant things weren’t getting any worse. Whilst she very much wanted this meeting to tip the scales in favour of things getting better, she couldn’t be certain it would. It could easily go the other way…

She had tried, somewhat in vain, not to run through every possible scenario and come up with a reaction or outcome for each. She had left the ball in Ginny’s court, and would just have to wait and see what she was going to do. She rounded the corner to their appointed meeting place, finding that the other sixth year was ready and waiting for her.

“Hi” she said, trying to sound neutral. It was harder than it should have been… Neutral, even when done right, seemed unfriendly when it was directed at Ginny, given that she had previously occupied the space of warm and friendly tones of voice. “How are you?” she asked. It was a little stilted but even a bad ‘how are you’ she had decided sounded much more encouraging than any variation of ‘you wanted to talk?’

13 Francesca Wolseithcrafte That sounds good 250 Francesca Wolseithcrafte 0 5

Ginny

January 26, 2015 9:35 PM

I hope so. by Ginny

There didn’t seem to be any warmth in Francesca’s voice when she greeted Ginny. It was the sort of way one would greet an acquaintance or someone they were only tolerating the person in front of them for the short time they were in their presence. Ginny wasn’t sure what to make of it. She had thought that the talk at the end of term had at least gotten them over the cold and that they could move forward, but Francesca tone suggested she was still angry with Ginny despite the two of them having acknowledged the miscommunication that happened last term.

Her smile faltered slightly and she fumbled for her words while she regained her composure. It shouldn’t be this difficult to face her friend. She had trusted Francesca more than anyone but now she wasn’t really sure what to make of their relationship any longer. She had figured her relationship with Adam was over as he hadn’t really acknowledged her since the letter and she wasn’t really sure how to feel about all of that, but she had hoped for a little more friendliness with Francesca. Unless Francesca felt that she had to decide between Ginny and Adam, which Ginny would never want her to do. If Ginny and Adam couldn’t work things out, that was between the two of them.

“Oh, er-“ Ginny started lamely. “I’ve been alright.” She said, moving towards one side of the bench to allow room for Francesca. “How have you been? Did you have a good summer?” The school year had already began and Ginny was only just now able to ask about it. It saddened her to know that this was how far they had fallen. Before she could really think of anything else to say, Ginny blurted, “I miss you. I miss the both of you.” Her hands clutched the skirt of her dress tightly while her green eyes stared at the ground. She was embarrassed about having said it, but also relieved. “I know it’s my fault that everything is a mess, but I’ve never had friends before and I just thought you and Adam were tired of having me around and were leaving me like everyone else.” People had come and gone from Ginny’s life since she was a little girl. The only constants being her parents and certain staff members of the manor. For a long time, Ginny had assumed that was just life, but then they had lived in New Mexico for a while and she had come to realize that was not how most people lived their lives.

“I was hurt and I thought by not talking to the two of you, I could believe that I would be okay on my own, like before.” Ginny tried to explain. “I know that doesn’t make up for everything that happened, but I never meant to hurt you.”

6 Ginny I hope so. 0 Ginny 0 5

Francesca

January 31, 2015 10:01 AM

I guess it's what I was waiting for by Francesca

“You look better,” Francesca commented, when Ginny said that she’d been doing alright. And, even though it was just small talk, she did sound somewhat happy about this. Ginny had looked really awful when she’d seen her last term. It had definitely worried her at the time but when Ginny had shut herself down and refused to be helped it wasn’t like she could do anything about it. Now she saw the contrast though, she was glad, and it gave her a bit of an insight into how much her friend must have been struggling at the end of last term. She wasn’t willing to feel bad about that, still very much of the opinion that it was something Ginny had done to herself - a reflection of the poor choices she had made - but she could see more clearly the point it had reached, and could feel upset by that without feeling guilty, which had been harder when she’d still been so caught up in it. She took a seat when Ginny made room.

She paused, trying to think of something to say about her summer… She didn’t want to seem like she was brushing the question off but it was just small talk, not why they were really here… She was saved this though, by Ginny jumping straight to that.

“It’s ok,” she found herself saying, whilst she still tried to process it all, but she knew that was true. She didn’t agree with Ginny’s actions but she understood there had been reasons for them, much as she had with Adam - funny that they could have fallen so far apart in such a similar way. But the difference with Adam had been that he had seemed to care about the fallout from his actions. When she had confronted Ginny the previous year, she had seemed determined to see her shutting them out as everyone else’s fault - that she was nothing but the poor, mistreated victim, that they had caused her to do what she had done. Her taking some responsibility broke down the last barrier… Francesca had been ready to forgive her but you couldn’t forgive someone who wasn’t apologising. She wanted to be friends again but not at the cost of taking all the blame between her and Adam when that wasn’t fair. Admittedly, the actual words ‘ I’m sorry’ had not left Ginny’s lips but the meaning was clear enough.

“And it’s not all your fault…You don’t have to put it all on yourself. Like I said, I’m sorry too for how things got mixed up.” So now that was that, and they just went back to normal… It was hard to feel like that could be true. The formalities were done, the right words said but… “But you knew my worst fear was losing the two of you,” she didn’t want to rub Ginny’s face in anything but…. to her that was pretty serious. Ginny had witnessed that with her own eyes… “Just don’t make it come true, ok? Or even that close again.”

13 Francesca I guess it's what I was waiting for 250 Francesca 0 5

Ginny

February 13, 2015 7:51 PM

Is it? by Ginny

Ginny smiled more genuinely at Francesca’s comment. It had been a long summer for her to recover from the damage she had done and still there was more for her to do to get back to where she had once been, but that was for her to deal with and no one else. She could understand now why other people grew to have such habits or addictions. Although it was necessary an easy process, it was difficult to quit it. Ginny didn’t have an issue with food or with her body, but she did have an issue with control. She understood that now. She feared for so much failure and loss in her life that she tried to stifle that fear by controlling everything. As a result of everything last year, she controlled avoiding her friends which meant avoiding food. It was an unfortunate side affect of it all and quite damaging physically for her.

It was all very strange for her too because her issue had not been about food, but she could easily forget the feeling of starving that her body fell into during those months. It was eating away at her, literally, but it was nothing more than another nuisance to her. Sometimes she had eaten, but certainly not enough to fill her hungry body. Although she would work hard to never do such things again, she can certainly understand how they happen.

“I know, and I am sorry for doing that to you. I really am.” Ginny stated, putting a hand on Francesca’s forearm for comfort. “I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I never meant to hurt you or anything like that. I was just desperate to not be hurt by you. If that makes sense.” Ginny sat up straight again and looked around for a moment. It was so crazy how everything could change so quickly. She knew it had been mostly her fault and she could accept it, but neither of her friends had helped much either. But she had accepted this too.

“I know you were also upset with me regarding Adam, but there was a reason why I felt more insistent about not being around him that I didn’t want to tell you about.” Ginny said. “When Adam decided to go with whatever Ann it ended up being, he was rejecting me as a friend and as a female. I liked him, you know?” Ginny explained. “So, when he wanted to go with anyone else but me, I felt like I had lost something. I don’t know. It was hard to be around him without feeling that disappointment and hurt. It probably still is. It’s strange too because I hadn’t ever really paid attention to that feeling until I heard he had asked someone else and then it was there stomping on my chest demanding to be noticed. It’s a stupid thing, I know.”

6 Ginny Is it? 0 Ginny 0 5